Loveless Family

I was reading a book about forgiving and I realize I was overly ambitious about re-bonding my ex husband and his family.

My family is not the most perfect family, parents are not the role model of one very happily married couple, but both of them showed us love and the strength of family unity and never leave us to feel loveless. They are just like any couple, arguments are just part of being together but through the bad times, both of them have never walked out the family.

When I first met my ex husband, I came to understand his family background and the disharmony in it. He felt little love from the family and preferred to stay out on his own after Form 5. He knows very well his mom loves him but the family was not capable of providing him much to further his study. He had a bad childhood when his father left the family for few years and back to the family again. He knew how much his mom suffered when she had to single handedly managed the family.

I know he withdrew himself very much from the family and after we got married, I tried to bring him closer to his family as I believe in family harmony and closeness is very important. I did what a daughter in law would do and we had a few good years...sadly it didn't have the best achievement and I don't know if it was my fault to even bring him back to the family. Finally when my father in law passed away, it is a sight of loveless family that I see in him. Truly very sad that he chose to be away from all of us.

Now looking back at his childhood, he should know the suffering and pain of a woman keeping up with life looking after her children and why did he allow it to happen again !

Till today I have no answer to his decision....

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."

Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve