Movies

I have been thinking about movies lately and I know my kids enjoy going to the cinema. Especially the baby, she knows nothing but pop corn when we talk about movie outing....lol.

Of late since the H1N1, I have not been to the cinema and in fact I would stay away too. Actually I promised my daughter to bring her to watch Hannah Montana Movie, but I have postponed the outing, and told her that I have to "support" pirated DVD. And now, my son is interested to watch Transformers, revenge of the fallen, seems like a good movie, and everyone tells me only good review. Then again, I am not too keen and I have more reasons for it.

Firstly, I am not very much into this sort of action movie. In the past, I usually will choose movie that I like and action packed movie will be the father and son thingy. Now, I guess I have no choice but to like or at least show some enthusiasm in action movie....sigh! I feel there is a need for that for bonding sake between me and my son.

I don't want my son to grow up very girlish like the sisters, very Barbie or Hannah Montana or High School Musical type...

Well, one of the things to do for the weekend....catch up with the first Transformers movie...

Wish you all a great productive week ahead !

With metta :-)

Two death sad stories from the entertainment scene..

Today is a sad day for many of us...

Everyone talks about Michael Jackson but does anyone remember Farah Fawcett ? She also passed away on June 25, 2009 after her long battling with cancer. Seems like no one spoke about her..so sad.

I like her actually, I like her hair so much and still remember how pretty she was those day in her Charlie's Angel and Six Million Dollar Man roles.

I like Michael Jackson too, I remember once I wrote something about idol and I spoke about Michael Jackson, and I received an sms from a friend stating that he died due to food poisoning after eating 12 years old nuts...don't know how true !

Any way, may both of them rest in peace !

最簡單或許是最好

一位好友寄给我。。。觉得有意思， 和大家分享：

不知道大家會不會有這樣的感覺...　
其實任何事都一樣　
總是繞了一大圈之後又回到了最初的自我
所以人更應該懂得知足　
而不是無止盡的追求深不見底的慾望　
有時候最簡單　最原始的　最初的或許才是最好...

有些人或許常常在抱怨自己
不夠快樂　不夠幸福　不夠富有　
但其實你跌到谷底的時候不滿足　
飛到雲端還是會不滿足...

當然我的意思並是說這一大圈是白繞了　
而是應該抱著美好的心情去追尋自己的可能性　
而不是總是怨天尤人
就算會回到原點　也還是走了一遭　
任何喜怒哀樂都是你的回憶...

跌了跤也好　
遇到挫折失敗也好　
回頭看看自己的原點　
那最簡單的生活　
其實並沒有那麼糟　對吧？＝ˇ＝

The Discovery of Metta Meditation

I am just happy

It started just minutes before we started the meditation session. It is also a beginning of the new moon, and a Puja (prayer) was conducted. I feel blessed obviously :-) Brought a few candies home to share with my loved one...

Anyway, what is it that I was so happy about ? I remember one of the meetings I had with Honorable Chief Priest Rev. Ratana, he advised me that there is no SHORT CUT to meditation. Firstly you must start with Metta Meditation which is focusing on radiating loving kindness and then progress to Vippasana Meditation or Insight / Mindfulness Meditation which is commonly known.

I thought I understood what Chief said, oh yes we need to radiate loving kindness and that is when we are able to practise Insight / Calmness meditation. By statement I understood what he meant !


Suddenly the clarity came and I could relate what Chief told me months ago with an incident in my life. Someone that I knew often complaint about his anger, hatred and frustration he faced at work and with people in his life. And we spoke about meditation before and I think he is a better yogis than me, as claimed he does Vippasana meditation a lot more than I do. But why is there still so much anger, hatred and frustration in his life ? All of us has ups and downs even with our moods, but why do we get irritated easily if we practise mindfulness through meditation !?

There is no short cut is the answer...firstly like what Chief shared with me, practise Metta and with the right mindset and let the heart radiates loving kindness even towards people who has hurt us and caused us a lot of suffering. You will still feel calm, enjoy more inner peace and less agitated with situation that causes unpleasant or unhappy about.

I feel great for discovering this tonight...and I know why even though I have gone through a terribly down times in marriage yet there is no anger nor hatred towards it.

I am glad that radiating and practicing Metta has helped me a lot, it is so important to start it right....Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu !

心 太 软

我 总 是 心 太 软 ！ 往 往 情 感 上 心 太 软 ，对 孩 子 们 也 是 如 此 。 嘴 边 常 说 会 如 何 惩 罚 ， 到 头 来 我 还 是 输 了 。 为 什 么 呢 ？ 因 为 心 太 软 。 对 感 情 也 是 一 样 ， 明 明 知 道 是 不 能 强 求 ， 但 还 是 报 着 希 望 ， 又 心 软 了。

最 近 和 一 些 朋 友 聊 天 ， 说 起 了 他 常 不 在 家 ， 太 太 有 多 不 满 意 ， 他 在 乎 的 程 度 ，相 比 与 孩 子 们 的 投 诉 ， 有 差 别 ， 他 无 法 堆 辞 孩 子 ， 原 因 是 他 对 孩 子 们 的 疼 爱 ， 他 心 软 了 ！ 身 边 的 一 位 好 友 ， 和 我 说 了 一 些 她 家 难 念 的 经 ， 她 也 是 受 害 者 ， 而 不 是 一 次 ， 但 幸 好 她 丈 夫 对 孩 子 的 疼 爱 ， 他 心 软 了 ， 舍 不 得 孩 子 们 受 伤 害 。 他 对 家人 给 了 一 个 交 代 ，他 们 夫 妻 的 感 情 近 来 好 多 了 ！

说 到 感 情 ， 我 们 都 是 过 来 人 ， 很 多 时 候 都 已 分 手 ， 经 过 一 番 的 苦 诉 和 哀 求 ， 心 软 了， 给 他 机 会 吧 ， 如 果 结 局 是 圆 满 ， 我 们 都 祝 福 他 们 ， 但 有 的 是 分 开 的 收 场 ，对 于 已 付 出 感 情 的 她 ， 又 受 到 伤 害 ，值 得 吗 ？ 还 不 就 因 为 心 太 软 ？ ？ 而 且 有 一 些 的 付 出 不 只 是 情 感 ， 还 有 金 钱 的 损 失 ，所 以 报 纸 上 有 一 些 自 杀 的 新 闻 ， 好 无 辜 ！

我 们 的 意 志 有 多 坚 定 ， 对 某 些 事 件 还 是 会 心 软 。 。 只 有 学 习 在 什 么 时 候 动 了 心 ， 懂 得 心 软 ， 如 果 能 够 理 智 的 判 断 结 果 ， 那 是 最 好 了 ！

可 能 吗 ？

Net dating

I have been on the Internet dating site about 18 months, and I only knew a few friends on the net and met below 10. Sometimes I wonder if this is a mean for me to get to know more friends...lol !

Some of them you know they are really out there for fun, even some psycho who will show their naked body on the web cam, really mad !!!. Frankly, even if is requested by my lover, I will not do that, if you wish to show me, that is your choice, but I will not offer mine!

Some guys are overly confident and think very highly of their success and capabilities. When you enroll yourself on the dating site, you will meet all kinds of personality and characters. Previously I posted someone discriminating divorcee with kids, perhaps from the beginning, this person should not even look at profile of that sort. Get what I mean ? You have your criteria in your selection, and if you already prejudged your liking towards what type of person, do make sure you know how to handle, in another word, made up your mind. Similarly, I have my criteria too. In relationship, the worst is playing with the emotions of the other person.

I can't handle man who is very emotional and temperamental. Just imagine, a slight irritation can cause the man to turn away and go off. Honestly I have very little respect and my patience will run dry towards this sort of man.

There is this guy that chatted with me, he asked me "Am I special?" I told him, "no, you are just like any other guy out there ?" He asked again "Do you want me ?", My answer, "No" and he asked again," then why are you on the dating site ?" I had a good laugh, what is wrong to get to know more friends ? It is just me, when I am not fully comfortable with you, I will not take a step further, in fact I am not the initiator in the relationship, and when I sense the affections, I will move a little.....hahaha !

There are many more examples of those overly confident answers I heard before and I find them can be quite irritating ! They think so highly of themselves and their capabilities, I only wish you good luck in your search !

Some men who has no gut to show their photo also doesn't give me the confident and sincerity. And I have a net friend, he is not good looking yet we became friend due to his sincerity seeking friendship.

People are different in their own virtue, I have due respect for that and I think maybe being a Chinese educated person, I am more reserved when it comes to criticism towards someone, more sensitive towards the feeling of another person, especially when it hurts another person.

No matter where I know you, net or through friends, ultimately is sincerity that counts ! We are out here to make more friends ! I often say what you see in me is what you get, and what you hear from me is all the truth ! My principle is simple, why do we want to cause more hurts to others if we have a choice?!

Couple T Shirt

I was in the mall, and I saw this family of 4, 2 boys and the couple. The couple is not so young probably in their mid 30s, and both of them were wearing the Couple t shirt.

I noticed and I started to think if I have done that before. I actually can't remember I did anything like that when I was courting ! Am I not romantic ? What makes the couple wanting to dress in similar t shirt ? I am sure they did it out of love and a way to show their commitment ! So sweet....

But frankly, I may not do it...I rather show my commitment in a different way. I will give him all the trust and happiness that he deserves for loving me. I am sure there are many ways to show I appreciate him in my life than to wear the similar t shirt....hehehe !

Just a funny thought I had today :-)

Changes in me

It has been a hectic week yet a good balanced life.

It is a matter of how you want your life to be. We can be really busy at work, but when I think I needed that break and to unwind myself, I will find time.

I used to be impatient and had been really hard on myself perhaps people around me. As I grow older..I take things easy nowadays, I still have the deep passion in things that I enjoy doing. The same passionate person I used to be, though I have changed but it is only for the good and I have a softer approach, more calm and that is something that I want to improve further.

I met a lady in the shop, and she was showing me something in her show case, she knows how to start her conversation with me. She said "I see you are a smart girl"...and I didn't hear her clearly so I asked her "Are you saying you meet me and you became smart ?"..She replied, "the moment I look at you, I know you are a smart person !"

I must thank what life has brought to me this far ! It has not been easy to walk this path, some people while facing very difficult time in life, might have committed suicide and ended their lives. I give myself a thumbs up ! It hasn't been any easier to be a single mom with 3 kids. Some one reminded me that being a divorcee to consider a new partner or remarry is not so bad, but when one has the extra baggage...most men would think otherwise.

Something I hear very often when someone talks to me :

"you are a single mom?"

"Yes I am!

"How many children do you have ?"

"I have 3 "

"How old are they ?"

"They elderst is 10..the youngest is 3."

Next reply is so predictable and expected...oh..tough and it is a long way!

Haha...so expected and everyone tells me....move on ! Yes, I have moved on and next is to have a closure ! The choice is mine...my new chapter !

Just a short one for today !

Sealed with a kiss

So we gotta say goodbye for the summer
Baby I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss

Yes it's gonna be a cold,
lonely summer but I feel the emptyness
I'll send you all my dreams
every day in a letter
sealed with a kiss

I'll see you in the sunlight
I'll hear your voice everywhere
I'll run to tenderly hold you
but baby you won't be there
I don't wanna say goodbye for the summer
knowing the loneliness
so let us take a pledge to meet in September
and seal it with a kiss

Yes it's gonna be a cold lonely summer
but I feel the emptyness
I'll send you all my love every day
in a letter

Sealed with a kiss

I wonder how many of us remember this song ? A very old classic song recorded way back during early 60s ~ an evergreen song. Actually I was listening to this song over the radio, and the lyric just captured my attention.

Just visualise and imagine a nice summer and someone misses you like how the song described.....and eventually seal the love with a kiss!

With the modern technology, when was the last time you received a letter that is written to you by someone you loved. I remember many years ago when my ex bf was studying abroad, back then no emails and we exchanged love letters and that was how much I look forward to receiving mails from him...and I actually kissed on the letters.....Sealed with a kiss....lol.

Nowadays, all we received is soft copy with emoticon all over....some virtual flying kiss and hugs with smiley face. I miss receiving greeting cards actually....

How about if someone writes to you everyday !? I guess it is only possible through email in this case, no need to rush to post office ! We are all too busy with our life and it is good to STOP and THINK about where life has taken us to, and think of our loved on including our parents...send them a card that is sealed with love !

Sharing with you this lovely song...so romantic !!

Discrimination against Divorcee

What do you think of discrimination against divorcee ?

Obviously I don't feel very good when I read recently ...sigh ! I know I shouldn't be bothered by the opinion but somehow...

This person wrote about how he felt about the woman being dumped and divorced by the husband due to her fault and she attributed to the cause of the divorce. I am in it and my opinion is no one wants to go through this bitter part of the marriage. Some can be really bad one sided, and some could actually divorce amicably and even peacefully.

Personally, I have witnessed a few....just because they can't live together and decide to split. So, it is really not the fault of one person, be it the woman or man. It is just a wrong compatibility in the relationship.

Divorcee is just a term used for marriage couple facing separation finally. Any couple going through a separation can be as bitter, full of hatred and anger and even worst, you feel you are loosing even more if monetary is involved in the courtship, where there is no legal binding between two.

For example, you find this girl is right for you, and you love her so much then you decided to buy her a nice diamond ring and even considering putting down some money to buy a property for their future love nest. When you split, you feel the pain and hurtful as well. So if you are a married couple, no doubt it is messy when dealing with a divorce where property and children custody is involved, but legally you have some rights to some thing that belong to you. Not to say you can't fight for it if you are not married, but you did it out of love. So if she betrayed you along the relationship...and you have invested in her, it is sad la !!

This is just my opinion...! Sharing a nice song here with you :)

Sex and the city...our version

Every day, every minutes something is happening in our lives ! I am just thinking of people that I know, every household and their family, at work and private life, something took place !

I had a real good chat with a few friends, it was sex and the city for me ~ our version. We have four different profiles,

• A sweet young girl, separated almost 18 months ago yet still very much in love with her ex, he has moved on soon getting married,
• Capable young lady in a triangle love, boyfriend is soon becoming a father,
• In her mid 40s, happily married and contented with life with 2 kids
• A divorcee with kids.

It wasn't meant to be such a drama evening for all of us, but somehow we were open to share our experiences and what has been bothering us ! We talked about how man reacted strangely in some cases. The way they walked away, things that upset them and what does it mean when he is silence and stay out from our lives ?

So we have a facilitator who is a man, who is a profound gay friend. We spoke about why we ladies tend to wait for the man to control the situation, why can't we speak out and tell the man off ?? It is quite true actually. Why do you need to wait for the man to date us ?? Another question was why do woman always think of marriage as a priority in life ??

We compared the level of pain and heartache we felt about our situation. Undoubtedly all of us get hurt when a relationship broke up including male and female. However, the male ego will hide their emotions and feelings ! Whereas ladies tend to be more emotional, will continuously try to care for the partner even after the relationship is off !

It was rather emotional last night...but it was truly therapeutic for all ! If it takes a real heartache once to move out of the situation, just let it happen. I feel at times we need to face some challenges in life to be awaken ! So it is good to spare some time to reflect what happened and learn out from it !

My dear ladies, we are all beautiful butterfly...at times we are the caterpillar and when we fail, we are the cocoon and we can't be there forever, a butterfly must emerge when the time is right...and we are the beautiful butterfly..in deed the most beautiful one !

Happiness to all....with metta !

Blessing to have friends

Don't walk in front of me

I may not follow

Don't walk behind me

I may not lead

Walk beside me and be my friend !

~ Albert Camus

Friendship to me is something that I truly appreciate. 

There are many types of friends as we all know, some are truly good friends, who will lend their ears when you need to pour your sorrow or worries.  Some are those whom you enjoy chilling out together and some are those you meet once and that is about all.  Some friends can take your crazy jokes, dirty talking and laugh together !

Therefore, I value those friends who have been with me since we were very young in primary !  I used to have a few other buddies, but we have been separated since they moved away to another city.  I wonder how are they doing !?  I wish them well, happy and safe wherever they are right now !

Some friends that I knew was very sick at young age and since passed away...!  No more sad sad stories.

What I like to share here is that, I appreciate very much new and old friends that I knew.  If there is some chemistry to know each other better, we stay on, otherwise you just don't have much to talk about.

Some friends indeed are spiritual friends.  When you find a spiritual friend, it is a blessing as this friendship is not only a Hi & Bye friend, but a friend that spiritually guiding us to a better life style not so much religiously.  

We will know if the person is good enough to be a true friend !  When you get to know a new person, if that person is lovable and easy to get along (friendly) and carries no threat or harmful to us, naturally it is a blessing to start !

A friend has to have patience for others too.  We are in a society that has many different characteristic, and we do not understand one well, at that time and their frame of mind, and if we do not practise patience that allows us to understand each other, the friendship will not be a good one.  The tendency is we prejudged that person and had a mind set of what seems to be and it may not be !

Whether they are a true friend or just one off (those you know are generally not sincere), I will not be judgmental about them, just think of them as someone different from my perception of friendship !  In fact, I met a friend on the net, and I was warned by another net friend that there is a conman, and I realised he was the one..., in fact he confessed to me after I queried him.  Thankfully nothing happened to me! I am rather a good investigator...hahaha !

It is a blessing for me that I have friends whom I can share and listen to me.  Friends that truly care for me, my feelings and thoughtful and sensitive towards my experience.  If you found a good friend, it is a blessing as a good friend is not easy to find..and it takes months and years to develop the understanding !  When you are hopeless, a truly blessed friendship will give you hope !

When a need has arisen, friendship is a blessing 

~ Dhammapada ~

Closure

I have been thinking about this topic "Closure" !

Is there a need for closure especially in relationship !? My marriage has to come to a closure eventually, and before it reaches the closure, it bothers me even though it is not affecting me that causing me insanity in life...almost there....lol ! However, can't deny that it does have an impact ! I feel generally in relationship, if it has to come to an end, a closure on the situation or perhaps a clarity is necessary, rather than keeping each other at hope or fear, time wasted and creating more damage perhaps to even friendship !

The closure shows us "all clears up" sort of feeling. Then we move on, accepting it as the past totally, see only what lies ahead and let it lead us. We live the best we can ! I can't be better than yesterday or I can't predict the best for tomorrow, but it is this moment that I treasure and do the best I can !

What I mean by closure, it is just not on paper or telling ourselves that it is over and ended, it is about our mind, body and soul recognizes the closure from within. The ability to understand the law of nature, when one door closes, the other opens ! It should not carry with us anger and unpleasant thoughts of the past experience. I may remember that person forever yet carries no further emotional feelings !

I was chatting with the local here in KK about my wish to climb Mount Kinabalu, it seems difficult to get a reservation nowadays. So jokingly I told them, no worries about the mountain as it is always there, but I may not be there always! So, I got to live the best and do what I wish to do as soon as possible !!

No time to waste, when you are passionate of someone, love him/her truly ! If you have passion for something in life, chase it and embrace it !

Best sunset in KK

This is a real lazy afternoon...it is meant to be that way during vacation, right ??? !!!

Just lying down on the deck chair by the beach, ordered a late lunch while reading another great book ! I was facing the west, and I could feel the sun glaring into my eyes, so I had to read the book facing down instead and listening to my best music pal...iPod never leave home without it...lol ! !

Very soon, I hear the lighting ceremony drum coming my way, and it is sunset time. I took so many pictures and I just want to post a few here ! Part of my great memories in life, honestly it would have been very romantic to be here with my loved one, enjoying the sunset :)

Sharing a romantic instrumental piece by Kenny G !

My vacation

Today is my 3rd day here in KK !

It has been great and I hadn't felt lonely so far ! Originally this is purely leisure but somehow, I decided to inspect the resort for my onward project....sigh ! This is my problem, I always mixed pleasure and work !

My room was upgraded to seaview and received special attention from the hotelier..not bad ! The weather has been great, no rain lots of sunshine, in fact was really hot ! I am a tourist who really settled into the environment. I went cycling into kampung area, had a good dinner, enjoying my food and read magazine and book ! I actually spent 2 hours at the restaurant...I don't believe it. I went to the bar, have a drink and be entertained by the local band, they are great and we became friends. Met some new friends from abroad, chat at the bar and we made a few song request...one of which was Besame Mucho performed solo on clarinet..nice !

Eventhough it is vacation and I could have slept longer, but I felt a need to wake up earlier to work out, so I went to the gym ! For the very first time, I join the nature conservation and went to the forest to see orang utan ! They are the babies but very cute ! I spent the whole afternoon at the beach, trying to get some tan, but I bought a high SPF sunblock but ok la...at least I am not burned.

The best part was the SPA, something is meant for me I feel, the moment I walk into the treatment room, the back ground music was Metta Chant! What a calming effect ! I chose "Sabah Experience"..and I had a good scrub using the most natural raw ingredient...rice powder ! I paid a premium to find out what we could do at home to make our skin feeling smooth and supple...!!! But, this is life, we always pay a high price to find out good and bad ! The treatment is so relaxing, I fell asleep and walk out feeling so so rejuvenated.

It has been great...now I have check in at another resort ! Off to the beach for another round of sunbathing...!!

Tips for Great Relationship...Part 3

Ok this is last tip for great relationship ! If you like to know more, I guess either you subscribe or buy a book....hahaha ! I find these tips are great...!!

EASY TIP #3: TOUCH ALL THE TIME

You can always tell new lovers by the way they can't keep their hands off one another.

But as you settle into a relationship, it starts to seem like the only time you touch is when you're about to have sex. During your day-to-day life, kisses are perfunctory. Hugs are brief and reserved for greetings and goodbyes.

When relationships start to break down, touch is one of the first things to go. You simply don't want to lovingly touch someone who's making you feel hurt, upset, or angry. Withholding physical affection becomes a weapon in your battles.

I'm going to say this once and I don't want you to ever forget it:

NEVER HOLD BACK AFFECTION AS A WEAPON.

Yes, your partner is going to make you feel mad at times. Yes, touching him is going to be the last thing you want to do.

BUT DO IT ANYWAY.

When communication breaks down, touch can restore it. What can't be said in words can be said with a kiss.

Remember that men struggle with communicating as effectively as women. Men tend to be better at showing love through actions rather than saying the words you want to hear.

So don't punish him for not saying, "I'm sorry," or, "I love you." Instead, let him show it by touching him lovingly and letting him touch you in return.

Many women have told me that they get so angry at their husbands, because their husbands seem to think that makeup sex will solve all their problems. Sex doesn't solve anything, according to these women. The problems are still there after you leave the bedroom.

Although this may be true for the women, I want you to recall that sex has an important symbolic meaning for men. Men can be great romantics, believing that love can solve any problem. So, when a man makes love to a woman, he is effectively telling her, "Our argument doesn't matter in the face of my love for you."

As women, we know better - or, at least, we THINK we know better. We know that problems require talking through.

But perhaps men are also right. Perhaps the best way to solve a problem in a relationship is to remind each other, first and foremost, how much you love one another.

So keep touching one another, no matter how mad you feel. A hug and a kiss can relieve a lot of heartache. Even holding hands or resting a hand on your partner's leg can remind you both of the connection you share.

Difficulty to talk

Recently I had to contact my husband about some issues..and I wrote him an email and what annoyed me is the way he responded. He either kept totally silent, non responsive, no reply as usual since day 1 he decided to walk out of the house, or he replied in a very defensive way.

What is wrong ??? I have no hatred or anger over his decision, but the fact is between us, there is something that still link us - our children ! Why and what is wrong with him ?? He wanted a divorce and I just accepted it, and he leads his life that I don't even bother him at all, almost zero communication and yet he is so defensive in his approach !

Many people asked me why he had not seen the kids at all....I really have no answer ! And next people will tell me he will regret and be very sore inside !

I really don't know, I find it very hard to talk to him anymore!

Arrghhh !

Tips for Great Relationship..Part 2

I thought I was going to post this yesterday, but was extremely tired after work...meeting after meeting for the past 2 days. All because of I am off for a vacation tomorrow !! But anyway, all these meetings are good and I am excited about the project that I am working on, something new and exciting !

Here you go, more tips for better relationship ! Do yourself a check list on ideas shared here if you are doing them..simple yet helpful :)

EASY TIP #2: GREET YOUR PARTNER PROPERLY

When your partner comes home, how do you greet him?

Do you give him a quick "hi" and a kiss and launch straight into a debriefing about the events of the day?

Or do you not even bother with a greeting and launch straight into a request, such as, "Did you get that done?" or "Would you go do this right now?"

When you live with someone, you start to take their presence for granted. Whereas when you were dating, you greeted his knock on the door with anticipation and excitement, now his knock on the door just tells you to open it. There's no butterflies in the stomach, no leap of joy. It's just him, after all.

If this sounds like your relationship, I want you to make an immediate change. Each time your partner comes home - or each time you come home to your partner - I want you to take a few minutes to really greet your partner.

Even if you're in the middle of something, stop whatever you are doing and go to say hello. Smile at him, make eye contact, and give him a hug and a kiss. Make an effort to be happy to see him, even if you're stressed or preoccupied.

Make this greeting a ritual, so that you always greet one another properly when you come home.

The second thing you need to do is allow for at least fifteen minutes - but ideally half an hour - of decompression time. When you or your partner comes home from work, don't deluge one another with a litany of all the stressful things that happened to you that day. Don't immediately talk about plans for dinner or chores to do that night.

Instead, take half an hour to unwind and relax into being home together.

I've always admired the British tradition of afternoon tea, where families can enjoy a cup of tea and a snack together before the evening meal. There's something about a snack and a quiet period of rest that rejuvenates you for the evening ahead.

Create your own after-work ritual. Maybe your partner prefers to drink a beer and watch a few minutes of television. If so, grab your own favorite drink and curl up next to him. You don't have to make an effort to talk. It's more important that being together feels undemanding for both of you.

You may think that you don't have time to unwind after work, because there's so much to do before bedtime. There are chores to complete, dinner to cook, and children to organize.

But there's ALWAYS time. You just have to make it.

Allowing for a quiet half-hour period after work may mean that some chores have to go undone. It may mean that dinner is a fast affair rather than a fancy meal. But trust me: IT'S WORTH IT.

Tips for a great relationship

From time to time, we need to be reminded on ways to stay young, healthy and of course relationship with our loved one....this is sent to me through my subscription to some website ! More to come and please enjoy !

EASY TIP #1: LOVE YOUR PARTNER EVERY DAY

When you're in a stable relationship, it's easy to start taking your life for granted. You forget what it was like to be single, and your partner starts to seem like just an ordinary guy that you "happened" to end up with.

Taking your relationship (and your partner) for granted is one of the quickest ways to kill the magic, so don't do it.

Make a mental note to say something lovely to your partner every day. Tell him how handsome he is, how much you like what he's wearing, or how much you appreciated something he did. Tell him how grateful you are that he's in your life, and how happy you are.

You don't have to make a big deal out of it. Just a few simple, genuine words are all you need.

Don't get fussed if he doesn't say anything back. At first, your compliments may take him off guard. He may even feel uncomfortable receiving praise from you.

So if he just mumbles and nods, don't take his dismissal as meaning that he didn't like hearing what you just said. Deep in his heart, your words will resonate.

And don't stress if he doesn't return the compliment. That wasn't the point. Your purpose was to make him feel good, not to get him to say something nice to you in return.

But over time, I can promise you this: the more you can find to love and appreciate in your partner, the more he'll find to love and appreciate in you.

to be continued...

Prince Siddhartha The Musical

For the very first time, I have watched this musical and I have watched it twice.

The first time about 10 years ago, they had their very first performance and I think that time I was so involved with my new born child, so I had not gone for it, also partly I wasn't so religious during that time. Some how, at the right time in life, God knows what is necessary for us to learn, and we are able to receive and accept the guidance.

I often find myself doing something unplanned and it is very spontaneously done. I remember while I was working at the Shah Alam Stadium as the pre opening team. The Venerable Master Hsing Yun was visiting and the dhamma propagation event took place. It was a huge affair and I took refuge to Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha together with many on that night in May 1997.

When I was a kid, I am not well exposed to religion even when I was in secondary, I do not join any religious society like some of my classmates. I was more active in Interact Club, English Society and Computer Club. I am a free thinker but more of a Taoist then. I pray to Nine Emperor's God and still do. I have been observing vegetarian for 9 days since I was a kid and will continue as long as I can.

Recent past 2 years, I felt my spiritual path is strengthen especially. I used to go to temple with my family and it has been a norm for us to visit temple on Wesak Days and eve of New Year. Since the day my life turned upside down..I went to the seek the advice and blessing from the Ven Chief Dhammaratana, my devotion towards the understanding of dhamma has significantly increased.

I was never religious and I don't attend any formal dhamma teaching about Buddhism, but I hold on to the teaching and practise the precepts. And I must also thank friends who share the same spiritual interest and helped me. I have a friend who often shared about Buddhism on his blog and reading it made me understand it better. He has helped me..thanks !

I went for the first show last Sunday all alone....another new experience for me. I have never been to any show all alone...I think soon, I will walk to the cinema for a movie without any friend...hahahaha ! I heard of this show almost more than one month and couldn't think of anyone who would be interested to join me. Thus, I have forgotten about it completely. And coincidentally I was at FGS as usual on Sunday morning, my good friend asked me if I am interested to go for the show, she said tickets are available but I can't sit with her as she had bought her tickets much earlier.

I thought about it, what is wrong watching it alone, it is about me appreciating the show..and musical is not something that you talk to someone as you are watching it. I decided and I bought the ticket. With no regret, I enjoyed it so much, I was a bit emotional especially the beginning of the show, even my daughter and my sister felt it too tonight.

So, I decided that my children should be given an opportunity to learn this great teaching of Buddha through the musical way. I am glad they enjoyed it so much. It has helped them to understand karma, the cycle of life of any beings. Mostly important, I hope they will appreciate the dedication and hard work of the volunteers and me (hehe) to teach and drive them respectively on every Sunday.

When they grow up, they have their choice of religion and I just want to instill the right teaching towards their moral behaviour from young and to understand and appreciate life in a better way.

Since this is the final show, I managed to get the autograph from the main cast, and more excitedly is, I also asked for the autograph and photo taken with my most respected lady who shares her beautiful voice with me in my daily chant. Her voice lives in me when I am happy and sad and she is Ms. Imee Ooi and finally the producer of the show ~ Ms. Ho Lin Huay !

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu ~ for all the work well done.

With Metta always !