My resolution and things to do for 2010

Wow...2009 is about to end real soon. I am waiting for the countdown. Somehow inside feeling a bit anxious and uneasy....

We always ask ourselves what have we achieved ? I usually don't measure it to exact, but overall I think my biggest achievement is the mental happiness.

There is lots to do for 2010 and I am sure I am on the right track to achieve some goals in life. I have posted in my facebook for all my friends :

Be innovative, have a positive outlook, make it exciting and happening, review the past quickly, let it stop there and move on to better tomorrow, smile and be happy always, live a contented 2010....dear all, have a merry and happy new year 2010 :)

I need to add more :

Stay focus

Stay healthy

Stay vibrant

Stay in love

Stay spiritually high

Keep well

Keep eating only healthy food

Keep bad habits out

Keep positive vibes

Keep spending low

Keep saving high

Spread happiness

Spread love

Spread no disease

Spread message of peace

and whatever that is good...

Happy New Year to all !!!

With metta :)

Working out again

For the last two months, I have such busy schedule traveling, work and visitors and also some laziness as an excuse.

I haven't been walking much for the past one month and I feel guilty and over the last two weeks, I have a full house and when a Chinese family is gathered, the best way is to enjoy FOOD. I have since put on some weights...terrible feeling. Somehow I also consoled myself that while I was in London and Paris, I have an enormous amount of walk everyday so that is not so bad after all.

Today, I decided to continue my regular workout, did a 40 minutes walk. Feel so good really. It is going to be more for next year, I want to have a healthy and fit body. I am not fat but just need to trim it. It is my resolution.

I am feeling 2010 is going to be great...surely it will in many ways ! I hope the same for all, stay happy, smile more, keep well and work smart :)

A memorable family reunion 2009

A great family reunion just ended today and my entire family has gone back. We had a good 10 days together, eating and meeting up with other cousins in KL. This gathering is only once every two years where everyone are gathered.

This year we choose to go to Pangkor Island. We stayed at a privately owned home called Tiger Rock. It is not a resort nor a hotel and it is a home that made our stay and family reunion even more memorable. It is almost back to basic living in the wild feeling, the entire home is built in the forest with some basic amenities.

Even though it is only four days at TR, we had really good time being a complete family especially for my parents. They are so happy seeing the grand children playing together. The host at the home Mohan and his team were really good. We had the most attention and we were well fed as well that I think I have put on some weights after this 10 days get together.

I can't remember if I have ever went to a picnic with my sisters and parents. And we did it with our children, swam in the sea, ride on the thrilling flying fish with my son and nephew was great. Mohan even prepared picnic lunch for us and what a life I must say. It is pampering.

We sat together in the evening enjoying some wines and champagne with foie gras as hors d'oeuvre. On Christmas night, we were served a lovely Christmas dinner while listening to Christmas songs and kids having party favors to make the night more merrier. We didn't have any presents that night as we had the opening of presents done before we left. We have at least 50 presents that night for 12 peoples..however they are mostly for the kids.

It has been a good 10 days spending with my parents and sisters. I realise as I get older, times like this are always very precious, not easy to live together again though as we have our own life. I only have my family and it is a blessing to have such great people around me.

Parents are getting old and I hope we can have more family get together...and I know this is their wish. I know it is not easy...but I am glad we made it :)

First Introduction

I just feel like posting what I have experienced when I first arrived in London and Paris. I feel it is a great way to remember about the trip.

The very first impression I have when I arrived in London was the introduction of the subway (tubes). I heard of the mass subway system in London...honestly I don't know the fare...hahaha ! Maybe I don't need to know because I have a preloaded card and even when the value was getting low, he topped it up for me...a little pampered.

The very first station introduced was Tower Hill. That is where I go from there...I survived and I managed to get from one place to the other. My very first radio station was the magic.co.uk...unfortunately can't listen on internet. Great combination of songs of yesteryears..

To survive in a foreign place, the next thing was to know the supermarket. So I was introduced to Waitrose...I like this supermarket. The first time on my own, I went to buy some stuff for the house.

I was shown around the house...arriving in winter, I need to know the heating system, otherwise I can't imagine I will be freeze to death...hahaha!

The first countryside is Oxfordshire and Cheltenham. A very comfortable drive with great scenery along the way just about 2 hours drive from London.

When we arrived in Paris, my first walk was to Champ Elysees. We had the most comfortable and romantic walk. The first sight as I stepped out from the hotel was the Tuileres and a view of the Eiffel Tower and the Lovres from a distance. Last but not least...the food and drink.

I caught myself in the rain too for the first time in London....

Telling the truth

It is more than 2 years now that I have officially separated from my husband, and the divorce on its way though I don't know when will it end. I have gotten used to the status of a single mom with 3 kids and I have no longer hide this truth.

But when it comes to family, my mother is reluctant to reveal the actual truth to certain friends. I don't know why she kept it away from my god father. Is this an ego issue ? My mom has 3 married daughters who have gone through the same fate. This is probably why she rather kept it unannounced.

I feel stressed over things like this. I have stand tall on my feet with my current situation, I have no fear to face the society and friends, but I have to hide from someone closed to me.

Life goes on, how long can I hide or not talk about it ? The truth is the marriage has ended. It is now under separation and divorce is on its way, and kids have live a life without a father for the past 2 years. The truth is I am holding on to the family as a single mom, the kids no longer asked for their father, they do not care for him.

I am tired...so tired that I wish I can make the situation clearer..

So lonely

I had just returned from a great vacation, to places that I have always wanted to and I went without the kids, it is like a breather for me. The 10 days away has been great and challenging too, it is not easy to get into one's life and get adjusted immediately. When we are on vacation, it is a different experience as we are relaxed. But when one has a routine and work, it will take some efforts for both.

Now that I am back and started to work immediately, I hadn't had time to recover from the traveling and it is quite tiring actually. On top of that, I miss my children who are away at my hometown. They are having great time as always...

While I am so lonely coming home every night into a "quiet home", I wonder they would think of me too. My daughter called me she said, Mom, the TV said Kuala Lumpur will have shower and thunder...please be careful.

I miss them....they are what I am missing most of the time.

Wonderful vacation

I have been quiet for the past 2 weeks...wondering what happened ??

Nothing happened...I was away for a vacation to London and Paris. The trip is also to celebrate my birthday with someone special. I have traveled around the world and visited many countries except these two cities. Finally my dream came true in a very special way.

Walking around in Paris in cold and wet condition and occasional sunny days is an unforgettable experience for me. Paris is awesome and beautiful and the better word to describe is "Romantic". We stayed at The Westin Paris which is located at one of the best address, takes us not more than 20 minutes from one place to the other. Across the river, I visited my sister who lives just about 25 minutes walk from the hotel.

Met my lovely nephew who has grown up to be a handsome big boy, spent some time with my family in Paris was great. We had the best Parisian food and wines with the best company of friends and relative.

After four days in Paris, it is time to return to London for the rest of my vacation. London has always been unpredictable with its weather...sunny and wet and drizzle and shower, all in one day. I walked around the city and occasionally traveled in tube to see the city has been a great experience and fun. London is just different and it is so cosmopolitan..and someone approached me to ask for direction in London....hahahaha!

There was no big party for me on my birthday which I am not unhappy about...simply because it is to be there with the right person that matters.

Life has been great...I appreciate it very much.

My birthday

My birthday is just around the corner and this year I will be away from home. My thoughtful daughter knew that I will not be celebrating with them and felt sad about it. Therefore, she kinda planned this advance celebration with my sister. So sweet of her. She even planned that I should go away during dinner that allows her time to get me a birthday cake....hahahaha !

It was a simple Chinese dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in One U. I ordered Mee Sua which is a dish that traditionally symbolizes longevity...as I am getting older, I also believe in traditions and culture...

My sweetie girl even thought of what kind of gift to get for me...how can I not love them ! Guess what...the lovely present is a kiss from her.

Thank you my precious..

Life after two years

Past few weeks have been exhausted and tiring. I traveled so much that I can feel the body is rejecting and I feel depriving from sleep. More traveling coming soon..not complaining because I chose to let it happen.

I feel so sorry for my children that I have been away from home, I have no choice at times work requires me to travel. I guess this is all about life.

Few days ago when I came back from trip, I saw my ex driving in town. I felt uncomfortable because I feel bad and sad that I left the kids with the maid where he could have spend sometime with the children. Sadly he didn't want to be associated with the children and it is now more than 2 years.

This is one of the hardest thing for me being 100% single mom with 100% responsibility of the children. I miss them and when I get home, they drive me crazy.

Whenever I look back what happened two years ago, I remember I was down, I was weak and emotional. I often asked why it has to happen ? Why it has to be me? The future is bleak, blur and I was confused. Then I come to accept the problem and now I feel whatever has to happen, has happened and I just have to live with it. My girl friend met him recently and told me he has put on weight, I am glad he is taking care of himself well. He met his love of his life (that is how he wrote to me...was hurtful reading it then) and I take it as a blessing that someone is there for him when his life is turning towards the worst time. I know I have suffered and hurt too by accepting this fact.

It is now more than 2 years..there is no more what if and why questions. I have let go of the thought. That part of my life was the worst I have ever experienced. Perhaps that is the path that I need to go beyond. I told myself, it can only get better and better. I am seeing progress and there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I am seeing it gradually.

I read this and it is very motivating "All you can do is give your best effort until bedtime. Let tomorrow take care of itself"

Meditation Progress

It was a tiring day for me due to lack of sleep the night before. I still made it to the class because I had missed the week before due to extensive traveling lately. While waiting for the class to begin, I felt very sleepy and there is Sis Jin who offered a hot drink for me. And she suggested that I should do walking meditation instead..so I started walking meditation officially last night.

I feel good and it keeps my concentration better. Every movement is being observed and focussed even while standing. I think I will continue with more walking meditation.

I have been practising meditation and I find it is all about self realization. We have books to read about how meditation works for us, but it is all about our own experience. Something that I have learnt, in life we will win and we will also lose, but whatever the outcome, we have to be prepared for it. If we prepare to gamble, we should be prepared to lose. We can win and we can also afford to lose, and that is something we constantly reminding ourselves.

When we are happy, do not get overjoyed and forgotten what the reality is, and when we are sad, do not let the sorrow drag us too long. It is about us understanding equanimity, a balance of mind. I believe when one suffers badly, and when it hit the bottom, it is also the time to bounce up again.

The best is to stay neutral and practise stable and evenness of mind. When we face unpleasant situation, do not let the perception affect our thought that leads to our action or speech. It is best to be mindful in reacting to life situation.

I reflected at one scenario, and I felt I have overacted and I feel sorry. It is just my perception that it was wrong. That is the good thing of being mindful...

Just my thoughts for the day :)

Phase of life

I don't know what to write..it has been great but it is hard to express.

At times I don't believe what I am going through now, it is almost like I never expected it would be, but it has been going well. Life is turning towards positive side.

This phase of life is something I once lost or it has never been felt before. It is just great and I truly appreciate it very much. Nothing is permanent but at this moment, I just want to enjoy it and embrace it and I hope this stays. Life is very strange, at different stage, we experience differently. Few months ago, life seems to be in the darkest moment and little I have expected it to be totally afresh and exciting experience.

All I know is I have an exciting life ahead of me and it will be great and filled with love and joy, love for my children and people around me. Am I a changed person ?? Perhaps yes, a person who is more confidence now, have strong spiritual guidance towards life, knows what life has to be, face it and live it to the best.

Am I happy ? Perhaps yes, I am feeling the serenity and calmness and that is happiness to me.

I only want to say...thank you for being here for me.

Used vs. Loved

I received this email and find this a good reminder to us...I reflected and it is useful...

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

My Amazing Thailand Trip

Amazing Thailand ~ truly one amazing trip for the last 7 days.

Initially I was a bit reluctant to go especially when I knew it is a 7 days trip..The impression is that 7 days in Thailand would definitely be bored. Nevertheless, I went on as planned, it is a hosted trip by Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT). A trip to introduce the Amazing Thailand and its many wonders in Thailand.

We went to a few provinces namely Ratchaburi, Phetchaburi and Chachoengsao. If you are familiar with the Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, that is located at Ratchaburi, and if you know where is Hua Hin, it is near Phetchaburi and Chachoengsao is about 80km from Bangkok city towards the East.

The first night, we went for a large scale show with 2000 seating capacity called Siam Niramit. It has a good entertainment value and well organised too.

The following day, we began our traveling on coach to various provinces, firstly we visited a factory outlet for interior and home linens. We did 7 wonders in one day which includes visiting soft toy factory, a privately owned park that preserved the culture and history of Thailand, candle factory, hot spring and lovely boutique resort with only limited number of villa at Suan Phung. This small town is located at the border of Myanmar and it was naturally rich in mineral previously. Now the township is turned into exclusive resort for the local Thai. Each villa can go as high as RM500 per room per night and is fully booked every weekend.

Our journey continued with a visit to Cha Am, another small town where it is not highly populated and located about 30 mins from Hua Hin another busy resort city similarly to Krabi and Phuket. A place that you can find Starbucks and other franchise outlet. The trip is never complete without Thai massage and I had one at Cha Am. The hotel we stayed is called Tara Mantra which is 3 mins walk to the beach front. This is one of the best in Cha Am with only 88 rooms and a very modern design infinity pool that comes in 3 levels.

We continue our journey back to Bangkok, our trip has added excitement and thrill when we narrowly escaped an accident with a truck. We were all screaming and thankfully the coach stopped in time. Enroute, this is the place for those who loves local Thai cookies, dried pork, candies, dried fruit and etc. The Thais are so creative in designing that one will not want to eat it.. simply happy looking at it. We had simple meal like "mixed rice" what the local eats...yummy. We also tasted the local "O liang" meaning black coffee and fried banana.

We got back to Bangkok on Halloween Day and we were hosted a buffet dinner at Siam City Hotel and the buffet spread was creatively decorated with Halloween deco and scary looking bloody eye balls...We had a good get-together and know each other night, a very happy evening. A visit to Bangkok is not complete again without a visit to Four Face Buddha. We went for prayers and asked for blessing for another great year ahead. This place is forever crowded and never short of people. In fact, we went to so many temples and had many blessing...I am sure life ahead will be good and blessed.

On Sunday morning, about 150 tourism friends attended a product updates for Thailand. It was good to know what Amazing Thailand has to offer and its 7 wonders. A very nice video presentation that promotes everyone must have "once a life time visit to Thailand".

Thai food is something we are not unfamiliar at all, yet we are never tired of Tom Yam every meal. In Hua Hin, we had the best seafood, everything was so fresh but EXTREMELY spicy. We were introduced a must try "Khao Man Kai" means "Chicken Rice" which operates 24 hours near Pratunam area. It was good and nicely fragrance, and not too oily. Last but not least, the mango with glutinous rice....delicious.

The other thing that we couldn't resist is the shopping temptation surrounding our hotel at Pratunam area. Pratunam is a wholesale market for fashion and a lot of clothes that you see in small boutiques are actually from this market. If you wish to enjoy lower price like savings of RM5-RM10 per piece, you need to buy 3 pieces and above.

One of my favourite visits for the past 7 days was a visit to Chachoengsao, we took a boat cruise (Bang Bakong River) and we stopped at the restaurant by the river for lunch. The lunch was by the river bank...sort of like a floating style and what amazes me was the 100 years ago market. The original condition of the shops and its original wooden structures are conserved still. As we walk passing the small market, we stopped by to see the local making "Kratong" for loy kratong festival. We took part as well in the evening, walking in jam packed street towards the Chao Phraya River where we let go of our kratong. There are many version of the festival and for us it is to take a way our bad lucks with the kratong. The kratong came in many sizes and priced differently too and again the Thais showed off their creativity and I am impressed.

The trip has come to the end where we have a few hours of last minute shopping before we visit our local agent and the tiger breeding farm. We had a chance to cuddle the 2 months old cub and another round of mango glutinous rice and an irresistible brownies from Imperial Queens Park Hotel

The trip ended with lots of great memories and met a few new friends from the industry. We exchanged ideas, so it was an event to create and share great experience.

I miss my blog

I have been away for the past one week traveling around Thailand. And this trip somehow, I decided to travel without my laptop and I find so much inconvenience without one.

Work wise I felt handicapped and I depended on my mobile, and I can't really blog much too..and I regret not taking with me. Each day on the road, there is so much to write about the journey.

Now I am home but can't remember all the fun and have them posted on the blog.

I am too tired to post tonight...shall try tomorrow !

Last Chance Harvey

I just watched Last Chance Harvey acted by Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. By body size comparison, both of them do not complement each other but acting wise, they are both award winners. So no doubt, they are both good at it and I enjoyed the show.

The story line is kind of expected and watching this show brings back some memories. How you met someone unexpectedly, how one sealed the first kiss, the failed marriage and etc.

Life journey never stop until your last breathe. It takes us up and takes us far, it can be beautiful, ugly, funny and sad. It is all about how much we are willing to stretch, to reach and to be in it. I remember taking a scenic route in North India, the wild flowers aligned on two sides of the uneven road, but unexpectedly was the scents of the roses. Life is just the same, what you least expect from a wild rugged country side, the worst road condition, some surprises came and the goodness stays forever.

Just wanna post this...my wonderful life experience.

A Wife and A Lover

My childhood friend told me he is planning his 10th anniversary with his wife about one month ago. He asked me for advice where to go, he has in mind either Bali or Bangkok. Finally he decided to go to Bangkok.

They are moving into a new house soon which mean renovation is on going. Why do I have to mention this ? He shared with me about the 2nd honeymoon trip almost one month ago, and yet they had only made decision to go this week. The point is that, he said his wife nagged about moving into new house that requires a lot of time, and going to Bangkok is really nothing for her. When he told me that, I paused his conversation, and I said

"Why must we (women) nagged or never appreciative or contented?" He said "you also think so!"

I didn't mean to criticize women in general, but I have been through what is the taste of a broken marriage and unhappy relationship, I may have been in such condition too without realising. Now it seems like the actual realization of life...hahaha. I will never complain about it if my husband has this great plan for us to spend short vacation together. Be appreciative..

I feel if the wife's reply is like.."great darling, let us sort out the house and we go for a great time in Bangkok". I told him two years ago, it was my 10th anniversary and I planned the trip and done whatever needed. My husband will only fly...maybe it is because I work for the travel industry, so planning and organising has always been my task.

So what about a lover ? On the other hand he told me his friend who has a lover/partner and whenever he asked her to travel, she will just pack and go. Actually I would do the same too, may not be as flexible but I will do whatever I can. I will look forward to the chance to be together so much.

Hence, why is there a different ? Lover or wife are both women....hahahaha!

我是有故事的人

During my recent trip to Shanghai, I walked by some window displays and one that caught my attention was the Story of Shanghai..上海故事, 一个有故事的人！ Everyone has a story. Different stages in life, childhood, teenage, hardship, good time, happiest moment, family and working days.

I do have a story and I always think my story is pretty interesting. I have never thought of how my life story should be written. It happened and it became a new episode or chapter. When you put the experience together, it has 酸甜苦辣， it can be challenging and unprepared, most importantly I walk into it, embrace it and gain an insight and to face them with courage and only be stronger day by day.

I have a story / life that I think is extraordinary compares to my circle of friends. That again my life is not all sad though...hahahaha!

Wherever my life has taken me this far, it has changed me and only to make me a better person. I will work towards it..

A fruitful trip to Shanghai

I was away last week to Shanghai. It was a working trip and very challenging and exciting trip. I went with a very heavy responsibility and that is to assist my client to bid as the next host in 2012. I have worked on this project since May and finally the big day has arrived. My boss decided that we should go ahead to support our 'potential' client at our own expense. It has been a great exposure and experience for me.

On the day of arrival, I had to work around the site, getting our selves registered and thankfully the cooperation from the local organiser was excellent. We had our table set up and ready for the war and our opponent is from India.

The next day was the presentation day, and we worked around the council members and lobby for their support. I guess it must the occupation habits, I am so used to inspecting the venue prior to meeting, and to my surprise the venue was not properly set up for presentation. The local organiser - Kevin gladly organised promptly.

The presentation started and I missed half the session due to 'ad hoc' errants requested by the council members. Both countries presented and the voting was held the following day. I was a 'self appointed' secretariat for the organisation, preparing balloting papers, signages and etc...

It was all worth it..I am happy to do it. The voting session started and I counted the votes with lots of excitement and daunting too. Finally..Malaysia won 11 over 6. Now, I have to work on getting the local organiser to appoint my service for the next 3 years. This is the tough part but I am confident..my hard work and dedication will not be left unknown.

A visit to China is never complete without a good massage for my weary feet and body. In the past, I alway traveled in group whereby I have a local guide or even transportation always on standby for me, however this trip is different. I took the metro and it was fun. The massage and foot reflexology was great and should have one more round before I left.

After 3 nights at Sofitel Pudong, I had to check out due to cost saving, I checked in at my sister's apartment in Puxi area. Conveniently located for shopping and food along Huai Hai Zhong Lu. I survived and had good time wandering around the area. A few things that caught my curious self...the trend for the youngsters is to wear big plastic frame without the lens. Cute la and Shanghainese are very open showing their public affections. One very touching moment I saw was a man ran across the road to give a bottle of water and some cakes to this old lady who was busy picking up empty thrash from the rubbish bin. I heard him said "给你吃“ he doesn't sound like he is local....what matters most is he has a kind heart.

The other thing that I enjoyed most was the revisit to hotel and places that I have been before. I recalled those good memories I had with my other group and colleagues. Good times are hard to find, best is cherish every experience that comes to us.

Overall...a good and rewarding trip !

Make you feel my love

I have been really busy the past few days. I am totally exhausted at the end of the day and I haven't had much thought about what to write.

I watched a video that a friend posted on facebook, it is about the eulogy and what the wife has to say about her beloved husband during the funeral. It is a very touching video, it is about what she misses now that he is gone. It is about the imperfection that perfect their relationship. The person who sleeps next to us may snore, we may feel agitated because it disrupted our peaceful night.

It is when the closest person in our life left us..that is when we realise we are all imperfect by nature. We begin to miss those little grouses that we used to share.

We are never perfect and the relationship can only get better through sharing and giving. Just appreciate what we have and cherish them. I just want to make you feel my love.

I like to share with you something nice that was posted by my friend on her facebook..

知足是幸福的起点,幸福是每个人都希望得到的,虽然财富,健康,名位,权势都是一般人所喜爱的, 但这些并不等于幸福,幸福的真谛是"平安就是福".一个懂得知足,惜福的人,当遭逢逆境时不会抱怨,在一帆风顺时则懂得感谢,无论何时何地都感到心满意足,才是个真正幸福的人. 切记,"命终时有终须有,命中无时莫强求"

Haven't met you yet

A new song from Michael Buble...lively and nice !

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Get So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Client is happy, I am Happy too

Today is the mid autumn day and it is largely celebrated by families as another reunion other than the Chinese New Year Eve. Many large families do make it a big affairs and I have been receiving many messages wishing each other. I even received a few from friends in China. So nice of them to remember me.

However, today I couldn't be with my kids to celebrate this occasion. I have to work and it is a full day event. It is another product launch cum symposium and this client was initial not very easy to deal with, but thankfully when I took over, somehow the client was happy with my suggestion and tonight the event finally took place and everything went extremely well.

The gymnast was great and they blended well into the evening theme, however the magician was a bit boring initially except for the last part a little exceptional.

Overall, I am very tired but I am happy as the client came to me and said...thank you very much, everything went well and it is a great show. While listening to her compliments, I felt so pleased..thank you.

My day started very early this morning, I took the children for breakfast as I knew I can't be with them the entire day. But I guess it is all worth it..I have planned something with the children tomorrow - a visit to the bookshop to compensate them.

Joke for the day

Sharing with you some laughter !

I was in the hair salon, I could see my grey hairs at the back and it is rather noticeable when the stylish lift them up. So I told him, no matter how many times I coloured my hair, it won't help much, so I decided not to colour them if possible. So he said, why worry, this is hi-light for the year!

Another friend chatted with me and want to share a joke with me..while waiting for his joke, he just typed hehehe...then I said where is the joke ? He said, I thought about it and not so funny anymore.. hahahaha. I told him, this is the best joke !

Today is first Friday in October, which is also a World Smile Day, I hope my two jokes had made you smile.

:)

Nothing is ever perfect, it only gets better

I was attending a talk this evening and this phrase was mentioned. It caught my attention so deeply that I had it written on my facebook immediately before I forget.

Nothing is ever perfect, it only gets better!

I totally agree, sometimes when I am unhappy, I wish it could be perfect like I wish it to be, but then in reality it can only get better. At work, I find it hard to find the environment that I would say I am happy, at the end, I realised that I can only put in some effort to improve the atmosphere better.

While I am organising an event, we evaluate the event when it ends, and I have never used "It is perfect" as I know there is always room "to make it better".

It is the same for me and my children, I see some kids doing so well in school, scored high marks, and when I look at my children, they are just average, I felt have I not done my duty as a mother diligently ? And I may put more pressure on them to make them as "perfect" as I wished for, but again, it is not possible, it only gets better.

Many of us are never contented in life, because we have high expectation to be nearly perfect, and again I must say the last 24 months, has been a turning point in my life, a life full of challenges. From where I fall, I pick myself up, from the emotional suffering that I went through, I can only make it better now with a more calmer and relax mind. It is never perfect yet though, but it will get better. Now I live to be not perfect but I only wish for my life to get better.

I hope with this quote, it is an aspiration to live the best and only to make it even better.

With metta to all !

Friends in the Dhamma

Today's meditation class is a special one as we celebrated our teacher's Bro James's birthday.

The evening started with a special blessing puja (prayer) and we continue with the meditation. At the end of the class, we sang him a birthday song..not the usual one but a Buddhism version..so sweet.

I have been meditating for more than 1 year and all this while, I attend as a loner, I don't normally talk to a lot of them except for one or two, of course not because I am arrogant but I am still consider a new comer, I do greet everyone with a smile whenever we meet. Tonight it is an exceptional night for me. Sister Jean who has been a meditators for years, came forward to ask me if I have offered the teacher a drink before, I said to her "No" and she said you will do it this round.

I feel very privilege and grateful to do this "noble" thing. Today is our teacher's birthday and on this special day I had been given this important assignment to offer a drink to our teacher. Our teacher has been guiding us for many years and not being paid a small token before. He voluntarily offered his dhamma sharing with us, and I am one of the benefited one, who has found some lights in life from darkness, and I am sure there are many who are like me.

After the class, I was invited to join them for supper and I felt I am part of this family and a step closer to knowing fellow meditators. We shared our experiences on meditation. In our class, there is this gentleman whom started a few months ago, I remember vividly those question that he asked and sadly he always seem lost when the teacher replied him. Tonight his question was, after he started to meditate, he is more generous in giving dana, but he is not sure if people is taking advantage of his good deed. The reply from the teacher was, when you give, you will give sincerely and full heartedly. You need not border to know if the other person is taking advantage. If the other person is taking advantage, that is his karma of wrong doing, but if he is consciously calculative of his generosity, that is his karma of ill thinking.

All of us seems to understand this principle very clearly, we do not ask for any return in favour of dana..and again I see him lost in the answer. I sincerely hope this new brother in the dhamma will have more wisdom and enlightenment soon.

Tonight is a great night, I had joy in meditation and it is the spiritual joy that makes one's life better, (calmness in mind) then comes the worldly (sensual) joy.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu.

With metta :)

When it happens..

I was thinking about many incidents in life and the coincidences.

It is like, if there is this, it might be that...

Some friends told me that I have been on vacation quite a bit, actually it is not true. Most of the trips were working and of course a few were personal vacation.

And my question is related to all my vacation. I won lucky draw for free accommodation in Kota Kinabalu and I paid a very nominal price to my colleague for additional 2 nights to make my stay worthwhile. On top of that my air ticket was partly sponsored by Air Asia due to the long delay that we experienced, so that is how I made my vacation to KK possible.

First time on a personal vacation, I thought there is always the first time, and I had to go during weekday, so didn't invite any friend to come along. And because of I was alone, I met a few friends. So in conclusion, the trip was worthwhile and truly rewarding...

Next was my vacation to Macau, it was also a free package that I won during the road show and because of the KK trip, I offered to a friend to accompany me and the Macau trip was another wonderful thing in life.

So, I was just thinking out loud, when it happens, the effect continues and whether is good or bad, there is always the cause and effect in life. On the opposite, if I have not attended the quiz session, I wouldn't have won the free night stay, if the flight has not delayed, I wouldn't have the voucher from Air Asia, and if I have not got to KK, I would have missed out something in life and if I have not won the free package to Macau..etc!

Actually I am not sure if this thinking is right..but I do believe everything has to happen for a reason..for that just accept the consequences and enjoy what comes along in life.

Boring

What a title for the post...

Actually I had busy day, brought the children to attend birthday party and in between had to make a trip to airport and back to be with the kids and watched them having great time.

I woke up early this morning and I should go to bed together with my little baby a moment ago, somehow, my tired body is against my will to sleep. I just spent the last two hours playing game, surfing the net..and thinking of someone..hahaha. Probably this is the missing part..I am missing someone.

I was afraid to sleep too early and I will wake up very early in the morning. My weekend has always been like this actually not much of activities, perhaps for the last 10 days, my sister was around and I was away with the children so it was busy then and that makes the different. Today, I suddenly find the house very quiet and I felt bored.

Yes, I miss someone. I am glad there is always something to look forward to in life, otherwise the life will be boring and less exciting. Hopefully this feeling will stay forever.

It has been awhile since I last posted a song..I heard this song while I was on holiday in Hong Kong.

Good night and wish you a sweet dream !

Numerology

I have this interesting article from my regular newsletter...something to share for your reading pleasure ! See if they are accurate :)

The day of the month that you were born on could be significant as it determines what type of job you might best be suited to do. This is because in some folk forms of numerology the digits of the day you were born are said to symbolize the tools and talents that you were born with in life.

So -

One. If you were born on the first day of the month, then you must be the center of attention so being a politician; public speaker, actor or performer best suits you. You are also a born leader.

Two. If you were born on the second day of the month you relate to people more emotionally than cerebrally and would make a good psychologist, counselor or sales clerk.

Three. If you were born on the third day of the month then you are tolerant of others and like the spotlight. You make a good teacher, theologian or performer.

Four, if you were born on the fourth day of the month you are energetic and have a good design sense. You make a good house builder or gardener.

Five. Those born on the fifth have inquisitive minds and make good scientists, teachers and computer experts. A job that combines technology with travel is perfect (such as a pilot.)

Six. You are pleasant, know what to say and would make a good advisor, consultant or nurse.

Seven. You have high ideals and are very precise. You make a good novelist, scientist or chemist.

Eight. If you were born on the eighth day you are good with money and are suited to business. You would make a good banker or builder.

Nine. Those born on the ninth of the month are independent spirits who make good counselors, spiritual advisors and healers.

Ten. Those born on the tenth are intense, political and natural born leaders. You make a good executive, doctor or quality control inspector.

Eleven. These individuals are sensitive to the needs to others. They make great teachers and counselors.

Twelve. Those born on the twelfth of the month tend to be consultants or fix it type people. It is characteristic for them to finish up the undone projects of others. They are good at mediating and sales.

Thirteen. You are a super salesperson who has both charisma and leadership abilities. You excel at architecture, designing infrastructures, politics and screenwriting.

Fourteen. If you were born on the fourteenth you have a methodical way of working that makes you a good contractor, manager or secretary.

Fifteen. This is the number of diplomacy and also denotes a person who will speak several languages. You make a good banker, diplomat or translator.

Sixteen. This is an idealistic number and you make a good social worker. You are also suited to shipping, fishing or working in hospitality.

Seventeen. You love education and would make a good professor. You are also a good counselor or psychiatrist. Fame as a writer is indicated.

Eighteen. You are good at project planning and management. You can thrive in any corporate environment. Construction and design are also possibilities.

Nineteen. You are egotistical and forward-looking. Information technology interests you but you could also be a good spiritual counselor.

Twenty. You are a natural homemaker and would do well as a nurse, caregiver or cleaning person.

Twenty-one. You are a master of speculation and organization and would do well in the financial or publishing industries.

Twenty-two. You are intuitive and scientific at the same time and would make an amazing nurse, doctor, counselor or architect

Twenty-three If you were born on the twenty-third day of the month, you are a very analytical person who can mediate or faceplate anything. You would make a good accountant.

Twenty-four. You are good at understanding what makes people tick and would be well suited to a career as a lawyer, paralegal, executive or psychologist.

Twenty-five. If you were born on the twenty-fifth day of the month, there is a very spiritual side to your nature, which makes you a good advisor, counselor or healer.

Twenty-six. If you are a hard worker with exceptional organizational skills and would excel in a supervisory or
management capacity of any kind.

Twenty-seven. If you were born on the twenty seventh day of the month, you are mercurial, intelligent yet quite eccentric. You are suited to science, telecommunications and working on your own.

Twenty-eight. You are very creative and egotistical. You also love to travel. You would do well working in the tourist industry. Working with animals also suits you.

Twenty-nine. You are a very caring individual and would do well in any medical field. You would also make a good physical trainer or physiotherapist.

Thirty. You are chatty, charismatic and have a lot of natural talent. You are suited to radio, television, writing or shining as an athlete or inventor.

Thirty-one. You are a true leader and quietly strong and confident. You are precise and would make a great researcher, scientist or explorer of some kind. You are also an excellent entrepreneur and others will willingly by from you or follow you.

A step closer to divorce

I went to see the lawyer to go through the documents once again.

Apparently the document that I have are outdated...don't really know how do they work !

Something in life has to happen, have to go through, face it and accept the consequences. Seating at the office, going through each page of the petition, Deed of trust and etc..I am not sure if they are all for my benefits..hahaha. Some friends told me nothing is guarantee, in most cases, after a few months or years if lucky, he might stop paying the maintenance, defaulting the agreement. What shall I do ? There is really nothing I can do about it. If it is really bad which I pray I will have amicable divorce, then only I decide what is next step.

I don't want to think that far, as of now, he is fulfilling his commitment which is something very important to me that I feel I am lucky and blessed to have him as a man who stays to his words. Despite what both of us have gone through, it is never easy for us.

There is nothing much I can do for him, I don't want to interfere into his life as I don't have the right to and I wish him well, happy and safe.

The last thing I want is to affect is my children. I want them to live their childhood the way other perfect family do. I know it will not be the same, at least my thoughts are strong.

The last vacation we had was a good one, I appreciate my sister who had accompanied me and lessen my load to look after them. Seeing the children and their own characters... mischievous, funny and everything about them, they made my day :)

Happy moments

I just spent two quality days with my children..

We decided to stay away from home during this long break, and instead of traveling further to South or North, it was just a short trip away @ Putrajaya Shangri-la. The hotel is quiet and the pool is almost ours...

When we first checked in..heavy rain and I was very disappointed as our plan to be by the pool to celebrate Joelle's birthday will not be possible. Thankfully the sun came back after 30 minutes and we couldn't waste any more time, head straight to the pool. We have late lunch by the pool and lots of great fun.

This is not my first trip to Putrajaya, but always for work and never stayed there later than 5 pm, and this time I drove around and surprisingly, the feeling is great. I didn't feel as if I was in KL or near KL. It is a city by itself very distinctive feature, different landscape, architecture and road as compared to where we live.

We had dinner at the famous Putrajaya Seafood Restaurant which is right across our hotel at the Taman Botanic, the food is just average and not value for money though!

This morning, we explored one of the many parks in the city. I realise the park in front of the hotel is actually just across the PM's office..if only you have a house across the street, you can walk to work. The park is nicely landscape but lack the maintenance especially the ponds and fountain sadly.

We spent another 2 hours by the pool just before we checked out, everyone had great time. It is all worth it..a great family outing.

2009 2009

A day to remember ~ 7 years ago I delivered my eldest daughter and today we are home away at Putrajaya Shangri la to celebrate her birthday ! It is a special day for all of us and we had so much fun and good time.

This post is done using mobile so it is a short one without all the lovely photos.

Hometown friends

Last night after a long while we had another get together.

It was at the happening place in Jaya One. We wanted to be at The Brussels ~ really happening place but at 5.30 pm, the place is already full despite heavy rain in the evening. Can you believe it ??? So we settled for The Monkeys...a name well suited for us...hahhaha!

The gathering was great, seeing friends whom we have not met for a long time. Two have recently been promoted to be fathers and one came all the way from hometown.

As usual in our gathering with hometown mates..it won't be complete without reminiscing good times back to school days, the facebook talk, the latest hobbiesm, sharing of recipes (for the ladies la) and most importantly our home made delicacies.

Next we plan to organise a pot luck and this will be only Kelantanese delicacies only....I am very excited about this gathering, now is to decide where to meet !!

Good to see old friends....thanks for making it last night !

May all be happy, peaceful and safe, with metta !

The Path to Liberation

This afternoon I reorganized my routine for the children as I have to attend the Dhammapada course ~ The Path to Liberation. This is sort of like bridging the inspirational and faith in me and ultimately more wisdom through Dhamma.

I remember early August, I received an email from my Dhamma sisters from the meditation class. It is an invitation to register for this course and I immediately replied the email and Sis GG replied instantly that my registration is accepted. 3 weeks after when I was away during my vacation recently, I didn't check my email and when I got home, I received the bad news about Sis GG has passed away while she was traveling in Ladakh, a trip that she looked forward to so much.

Today, our lecturer Dr. Tan HS paid tribute to Sis GG for instrumented this course, and my heartfelt thank for these volunteers for putting up such activities. I am how much I have benefited from it. The course is actually understanding the dhammapada ~ best known and most loved of Buddhist text. They are beautifully written poetry from the Buddha's teaching.

My first encounter is few months back where I know I need to have a copy of this. Today, Brother Tan shared with us the path to liberation which means, the path to nibbana (enlightenment). As a Buddhist, we seek enlightenment and end the cycle of suffering. As long as there is rebirth there will be death. Our mind is what control our thoughts and conditions our thinking. It is about how we cultivate our mind, disciplining our minds and hopeful for finding happiness within. However said, ultimately we will have to walk this path towards liberation ourselves, as no one can purify us, nor can we purify others.

Life is no permanent and all things are subject to change. Therefore we need to strive diligently and conditions ourselves to this path. I believe in loving kindness and with a well guarded / conscious mind, no one will be harm. When we think we are suffering, it is important that we address the cause of the suffering.

It is important that we choose to be associated with wise people or companion so that we benefit from the sharing of minds, through our sharing, we reflect and practise in life.

I like the following :

Dhammapada v.36

Sududdasam sunipunam
yathakama nipatinam
Cittam rakkhetha medhavi
cittam gutham sukhavaham
the translation is :

The mind is very hard to perceive,
extremely subtle, it flits to wherever it desires.
Let the wise person guard it;
a well-guarded mind is conducive to happiness

Dhammapada v. 112

Yo ca vassatam jive
kusito hinaviriyo
Ekaham jivitam seyyo
viriyam arabhato dalham

The translation is :

Should one live a hundred years
indolent and unenergetic, better indeed
for him just to live a single day,
undertaking steadfast energetic effort.

This evening has given me a better wisdom in life ! Something to remember :

Perseverance 恒心 ~ despite all the challenges in life

Patience 耐心 ~ despite the lack of progress / no perceptible changes
Metta 爱心 ~ despite all the pains and hindrances in life.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu !