Treats for children

Whenever I am out with the kids in the weekends, I must say my children are not demanding and pampered with toys and etc. But most of the times, whenever they asked for something like books and toys, I will give it to them.

Seems like I am pampering them right ?? I don't want to pamper them neither I will give in always. But the fact is, now I am a single parent, I feel sad for my kids, just imagine before that, they turn to their father to ask for things when they failed to ask from me or vice versa ! I know what is like when I was young, if I want something from my mom, when I was refused, I know where to turn to and that is my father.

So nowadays, whenever they want something, I will do whatever I can to fulfill their request. Because there is no one for them to "manja" and if I say "NO" it is the final answer.

I am blessed with understanding children that if I have to say "NO" to them, I will reason it out with them why no, and when I promise them something, I will deliver.

It is not easy as a single mom. I need to discipline them, can't spoil them, and need to love them all. It can be the torn between two situations...

I think whatever I am doing with them, it is all out of love :)

Happy and Excited day !

Today has been a long day at work...

I am excited as the Prime Minister's wife has confirmed her attendance to officiate the opening of the campaign. That also means that I have more work to do. A lot of planning and details are needed. Hope to have the best team support. This is another baby project for me !

The event has kicked off with the press launch, and more loose ends need to be tied up and I am just equally excited and tired too. Why, I know the reason....

At the press launch, I have even better understanding what and how Thalassaemia will affect us. I think at the end of this project, I can be the volunteer for the association (if they want me la..lol).

I am almost there to see the birth of the project.....I have started working on this since March this year..I put in all my heart and passion and even sweat in this project.....I am happy and I will ensure it is a success !

Yeah..just keeping my fingers crossed for the smooth execution :)

Good Laugh - £7.00 well spent!!‏

An elderly man and woman, both in their 70's, walk into a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye.

A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Carlton charges £198. The Hilton charges £139. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from Medicare.

Healthy children

I posted recently my work involvement in NGO and this is an awareness campaign on Thalassemia for the general public. The statistic shows that every 20 Malaysian, there is one carrier. And the seriousness of being ignorance about this would result in having a Thalassemia kid if you marry another carrier. And this would mean a Thalassemia major. Please read more information about Thalassemia.

I had been in the meeting with parents who have been volunteering themselves in the association. They have been through the hardship of nursing and taking care of their own children. This bubbly lady in her 40s has a son who is a major and they discovered his problem when he was 6 months old. Now he is in his 20's and monthly his medical bill is about RM8000 worth of treatment and medication.

She shared with me that some unfortunate parents with a few Thalassemia major kids will have a hefty bill to think about, and it is their responsibility to ensure that they have to manage some birth control here. Also, some who live in rural area, will give up the treatment after awhile.

After my half day discussion with her, I am even more at heart in my work especially this project to create the awareness of being a carrier and the consequences of conceiving a child if the partner is also a carrier. However, with the advance medical technology, if you are a carrier, there is also ways to prevent having a Thalassemia kid. So, not so worrying la, just do the screening and take the necessary preventive treatment.

I thank God that I have 3 beautiful children that have no major health problem (touch wood). I must count my blessing and feel lucky that even during pregnancy there were no complication. Despite them being so hyper almost every minute at home, I am glad I don't have to spend a lot of time in the hospital. I still remember when I have to spend a few nights in the hospital for a few years when my daughter had high fever, I just couldn't sleep unless there was another person to watch her.

I just wish all be well, safe and healthy :)

The future of parents

This morning the Star highlighted abandoned old folks by their children. They are left at the general hospital and never taken home after that.

My son told me "Mom, so many left abandoned, the children don't take care of their parents" and I asked him," will this happen to mom?" he replied, "No, it won't". I feel a sense of relief though, but he is only 10 years old, will he remember this phrase that he once spoken ?? As they grow up, living in the society and environment that advances and evolving, their thinking might change due to unforeseen circumstances, it is really no guarantee.

I guess I should plan my retirement without children. Hahaha...the bonus is I have 3, maybe out of three one will be happy to have me !

Comparing to those without kids, will they have to worry about this ?? Or they may have fear of being lonely at old age?? For those with children, they have different set of worries, kids mixing the bad company, kids not filial to them, left the parents for a life on their own ?

My future with the kids.....I only pray that no matter how difficult to walk through this life, I can bring them up successfully in a happy environment they deserve to have ! The rest, I leave it to the universe to take care !

With metta to all :)

Will they move on their own ???

When I went into the bathroom, the house was quiet as the kids are still out in school for extra curriculum activities. About 10 minutes later, the house is screamingly noisy with their noises, playing "Beat it" and singing along, jumping on my bed and rolling all over !

And I beginning to think, the noise is getting me a bit crazy, and on the contrary if the house is completely quiet if they don't live with me, will I be as happy still without them around me ? I brushed off the idea of stopping them from having the monkey fun time jumping on the bed. Their laughter and giggling sound actually make me happy at times (only)...lol !


I asked them, if I don't tell them what to do, eg. it is time to shower, it is time to get ready and get dressed for classes and etc. Will they move on their own ? My eldest daughter answered very fast, no, I won't ! My son said I will but it takes 10 minutes later to do it.

As a mom now, I remember when I was a kid, we are so used to being told to do this, to do that. Is this something we repeat generation over generation, or it is just my kids that needed this attention all the time. Maybe they are still young, and they are not the time keeper. Naturally, I am the one to push things moving !

I like my kids to be independent and it is time to let them take up little responsibility..

Just my thought in the morning !

Have a good weekend :)

Sisterly Chat

I had a good chat with my sis last night. As we grow older, we have walked so much and gone through a bit too, and when we meet, it is great to share our lives experiences. I enjoy moments with my sisters where all four of us just relax and chat ! Sadly it is not easy to do this often as we are not near one another !

We spoke about how we face life being a single mom, and coping with children and their demand. Our social life and how we manage them. We have a good laugh as well as sharing of tears of how painful it is being one! We know what is life as a mom what's more single mom, we appreciate how much a vacation or a time to ourselves mean so much to us !

Thanks Sis for allowing me to know you better !

Good Marriage

A friend sent me this article...(double click on the image to enlarge for better reading)

It is nice and very soothing to read ! That reminds me of what I saw during my regular weekend outing.

I got used to walking alone in the mall after sometime being alone, since I have no one to talk to, I look and observe people in the mall, young couples, old couples and family.

So after reading this article, I remember I saw this old Indian couple in their 60's sharing the escalator with me. They have so much to talk and laugh, and at the end of the escalator, he walked next to her and hold her hand..and they continued their joyful conversation. In my heart, I really wanted to tell them.."I am so happy for both of you, you inspired me to live long and love long"

I didn't do so obviously...they probably will think something is wrong with me..!

I don't know why, when I see this couple looking so happy, I feel equally happy inside me. The lovingkindness in me radiated towards them. Perhaps they have shown me a good example of being old together is a joy and able to share our lives together is another greater happiness. It is their gesture that makes me think deeper how to maintain a good relationship !?

May all be well, happy and peaceful...with metta :)

The father

The children have been talking about their father on and off...

This is something that I can't stop them from doing, it is the only memory that they have about their father. At times when I am down, I wished that they don't talk about him, but I know very well I can't erase this memory from them. That's all they have of their father. The best and the last thing they remember of him is still the funny and happy Papa.

I am sure they think of him every now and then perhaps not on daily basis, honestly I have been selfish in this case, I don't want to ask them about him, because I feel the subtle approach of forgetting him would be better for them. I know my son actually cried thinking of him, he misses him. He is the one that remembers him very well, the father and son thingy...

Whenever they talked about him, they are so happy and joyful reminiscing the happy times they had with him.

Though the marriage has come to an unpleasant ending for the family, I will only cherish the good times we had. Similarly like my unpretentious children, I shall keep the rough days away from my memories.

Children is so pure, they are innocent.

with metta :)

Funny Video

This is a good "therapy" to unwind the hectic week, to start a day...just have fun in viewing it.

I just did it....have a good day :)

Miss updating my blog !

I have not been blogging as much as I used to...and I do miss it !

Work has been quite busy lately and I actually enjoy being busy, and it is ingrained in me that I love being very occupied. Even in the evening I have meetings with client as I am working with NGO therefore we only meet after work. There goes my meditation class...been missing a bit !

However, life hasn't been the best, had to cope with many challenges from different peoples. I try to remain as calm and positive..which I think I did pretty ok, but I think I can do better.

Lately I started to have sweet tooth for specific dessert...I am not a dessert lover especially those very rich chocolate or cheesy type. So I better watch my waist line...and have to double up my exercise.

I have to continue to read more where I have left....reading motivational, religious and self help book has helped me a lot !

Personal life has been ok la...though nothing too exciting but good enough to make me feel happy and look forward to another day and still smiling as always !

It has been awhile since I last posted a nice song...here is another lovely song !

I looked in the sky
and there I saw a star
shining so bright above

I closed my eyes
and wished upon the star
that I would find true love

Someone who needed me..
Someone to share my life..
For a love that would be true I would wait forever

So... no... matter how long it may be..
I will be waiting

One star..
brighter than the others
Two Hearts..
beating for each other
I believe wishes really come true

Love at first sight
I knew it from the moment
when you said hello

I hoped you felt it too
but we were both so shy
how was I to know

when you reached for my hand
I knew you were the one
We laughed and talked for hours
like I'd known you forever

Like... a... dream or something from a book
True love has found me

One star..
brighter than the others
Two Hearts..
beating for each other
Now I see wishes really come true

You just have to dream
Nothing's as bad as it seems to be..
believe me..

Someone's waiting for you to try..
There in the sky..

One star..
brighter than the others
Two Hearts..
beating for each other
You will see wishes really come true

You can't stop believing
wishes do come true
You gotta believe me (wish on a star)
wishes do come true...

Set your priority

If we have set our priority differently, what would be the outcome ??

I thought about this while driving and been thinking about it. In life, we have many things to work on to achieve our desired result. In corporate world, some would want to focus all on career while remaining as a single, and not even considering marriage or any serious relationship ! Some would settled down to be a housewife while putting the priority as a mother and wife on top of career.

I have had my share as a housewife and in fact for almost 4 years and it is a long time. It is a sacrifice that I made for the sake of family. I gave up my job and stay at home as 黄面婆 ! Almost felt I have lost touch with the corporate world. At that time, I don't have many friends who were not working, I started to have fear, and I could only talked to my friends when they are free in the office..and my topics are all about the children. He was then working on assignment abroad and I was alone most of the time with my son. I just feel like writing this down..after he completed his assignment, I found out that he did something disloyal while he was abroad !

When I decided to go back to work, I switched my priority to building a career and it was tough for me, to get started and I don't even know how to use email....lol. I have worked passionately and in fact loyally as I rejoined the company I left when I quit. I worked very hard and got my way up and left after 4 years. My priority changed again to focus on family as I have 3 kids now to worry about.

What I like to share here is if my husband and I have set our priority on the important of the harmony of a family instead of his strong self ego, and for me was to accept his flaws as secondary issue in our marriage...will it still be the same outcome ??

Honestly I also don't know, but at that time we both have set different priorities...! That is life..I guess we need to be calm, take a deep breath each time when anger is triggering...and then only we make the decision.

Just my thought :)

Sweet moments with kids

I just had to write this down even though I am already on the bed ready to sleep.

Spending weekends with my children are actually full of surprises and laughter.

Surprises can be from anyone of them..and seeing them growing day by day, especially the little one, she speaks clearly now compares to weeks back, words that she used at times can be very unexpected. She learns from the brother and sister all sorts of tricks, but she is different from them as she is the most loving one, she loves to kiss and hug and that suits me well...hahaha !

Joelle shared with me that Jordan wants to be a famous and well known person like Uncle Ping. Uncle Ping inspired him as people writes about him on magazine and he wants to be someone like that in the future and be rich too ! There is something that I have to work on....to have Jordan to tell me his secret..

The children are learning to be independent too, Jordan is able to cook simple meal to fill his stomach when he is hungry....he is improving actually and he is growing too. He is no longer the skinny boy though he is still not the chubby one.

Joelle is also learning to cook and she cooked mushroom soup. Finally, today I swam with the kids. I haven't been swimming for as long as I can remember maybe over one year. I am glad I did it..it has been great !

One very funny moment with my little girl that prompted me to write this post is when I asked her who does she love ? She replied "mama, cheh cheh, kakak, ko ko, da yi, kong kong, po po" and I asked her anymore ? Guess what is her reply....."enough" ! Hahahaha...that was a good one !

So many little and cute moments with each one of them ~ my precious darlings ! I am indeed blessed and lucky to have them to be part of my life ! My love for them will only grow and will never end !

with metta :-)

The Different

这是一个什么标题？

为什么我会想写呢？ 当然是和我的经历有关。。。哈哈!

前几天, 有人发了短讯给我,问我 "Can you attend the lunch?" 这个短讯是以上司身份发的, 我很自然的认为是一个任务, 所以我答复说"可以", 接着我就等待他的通知有关地点和时间。

当天, 我也为了这个午餐聚会打扮, 因为晚上我也有另一个聚会， 也是同一家公司邀请的. 差不多中午了, 我的一位同事也是老板娘说她有午餐邀请, 他们经常出双入对, 我感觉好像不对吧, 因为我以为他们是赶不回来, 所以要我来代他们出席...那我问她是不是去参加某某酒店的邀请呢? 她很快的答复"yes, 你也要去吗？ 午餐时12.00点，那你也来吧？

我的第一反应是, 我的心里不是太舒服，觉得为什么他们没有沟通 ！明明是老板的指示! 第二, 我并不是一定要去, 是为了任务, 我答应了. 那时候, 我决定了, 我不去因为我也有其他事忙。

傍晚, 我们都到了酒店, 我一进场, 一位酒店的高级经理问我" Why didn't you come over for the lunch ?" "I specifically asked xxx to invite you over for lunch?"....我听了以后, 觉得好好笑, 也很奇妙, 为什么明明是一个邀请, 为什么早前和中午的时候, 好像是一个"如果我也想去, 就跟着去吧"? 还是, "你有时间, 你也去吧!" 无论如何, 都没有"邀请"的感觉!

如我所说, 我非常尊重公事上的邀请. 如果我没有什么重要的事情还是出国了, 我一定会参与. 我想了，我总觉得我和他们的沟通还是有问题！ 还是我对他们的个性不了解？！ 还是因为他是老板，这个邀请应该只限于老板阶级？

算了吧。。。。那天晚上我们好几个同行朋友玩得好开心！那才是重点！不是吗？

我的标题。。。TheDifferent ! 你看懂吗? 不用我多说吧。。。。

Take a deep breath....

Everyday we do the same ritual, rush to leave the house to beat the bad traffic..a few minutes late could affect the arrival time and etc...

Practically we have a long list of things to do, task to accomplish for the day or maybe just the routine to work on...while we are so busy getting things done, how many of us are actually mindful of our breathing !

Actually I am one of those who doesn't bother much...and to many do we need to ?? Perhaps those who does Yoga and Qi Qong will be mindful of their breathing technique! And since I have started meditation, I do take note of my breathing. Actually in meditation, there are too a few techniques to observe the breathing....length and speed of each breath and a few others.

What I really feel good is when I took a few deep breaths, I feel a sense of relief and feel less stress-up, more calm and relax. These reactions are something we all know. I did this just before I begin my brisk walk, taking in the fresh air and I feel great ! This is something that we should be mindful of its effectiveness in wellbeing of our daily life.

I am going to do this...no matter what happened the night before, I have to wake up feeling good, take a few deep breaths before I step into the bathroom...and if I am doing my walk, another deep breath and when I am facing challenges and sensed something unpleasant coming my way...take a deep breath, relax !

Quite easy and I am sure it works well !

Mid Year Review

6 months has gone for 2009...so what have I achieved ?

I have fully completed one year with my present employer ! Though it is still a bit of challenge here and there, in fact it is good so that I still have room to grow not exactly on moving up, but more things to learn and perhaps contribute to the company.

Divorce is mid way..I think it is coming to an end very soon after much of frustration and complains made to the lawyer, finally something is moving !

The kids are definitely growing, they are eating a lot and I can see my bills are increasing. 3 kids and their appetite..no joke ! But I have to feed them no matter how...and I enjoy seeing how they enjoy food !

Life...I am coping well, more relaxed than past 6 months ! I guess it is all about reaching the stage where you are sort of healed...but not fully ! I must say I did pretty well...coming to 2 years of separation and I did well so far...agree ?

Parents are doing ok...and I need to visit them more and spend more time with them.

Religious and spiritually I am doing a lot better than before and this has been by my side guiding me and leading me with the strength to move on. Sounds like I am such a religious person....hahaha !

So, in the nutshell...I am doing fine ! Life went through ups and downs but my positive mindset and determination to live on has driven me here today.

The next half year...it is going to get better with a lot more smiles on my face ! I look forward to keeping good health, maintaining the work out and works towards my dream to climb Mt. Kinabalu next year ! Last but not least.....must look prettier or eh hemm at least maintain !

That is about all....shall do another review after 3/4 of the year..!

What language do you speak during sex ?

I was with a few friends at a pub in TTDI, a nice place with mixture of foreigner and working class locals. They serve good beer, draught at reasonable price and ambiance overall quite nice.

So, we have this pub chat about college days and the topic went as far as language used during sex....hahahaha ! Pretty interesting and we discussed about making love to a foreigner who doesn't speak English as the first language....hahahaha! Just because most of us in Malaysia speak English commonly and even during sex, jargon that we used is also in English la..!


Imagine, making love to a Chinese from China, and you need to switch all the vocabulary to Mandarin....I am not going to elaborate la ! Just use your imagination if you understand Mandarin! See if it makes you laugh just like I did last night ! Even if it is in Bahasa Malaysia...it would sound funny too ! Just curious if local Malay couples do change to speak in Bahasa during intimacy ! Whatever it is, I think everyone speaks in their own first language / native language such as Spanish, African and etc....

Hmmmm, this leads me to think of prostitution house, how do they communicate if she is from China and her client is from Africa who only speak Afrikan....! Sign language and expression would be helpful and necessary.....lol !

Interesting and fun night out....!

Life is changing...

For the past few weeks, I have been rather busy both at work and personal life...

This is the kind of life that I have long missed..especially the working life. I like to keep myself busy and I have always been known as Workaholic ! I enjoy working and I have deep enthusiasm in my work...but I feel it is lacking the drive that I used to have. Despite being busy, I am happy....strange person, normally people would complain but I am otherwise...LoL!

At work, I am learning something new and it is an exciting experience. There is a lot to learn, not an easy task but I am hopeful with proper guidance and direction, it is going to be great ! This is one area that I have always wanted to try out.

Even though I have different views and opinion in my approach at work, constantly I am finding ways to make it easy and more compromising...it seems difficult but got to try and find solutions to it. Another change for me...

Personal life is as usual but have many friends around me. I have great friends that I am totally comfortable with, people that I trust and that I can include my family. My little girl had a her night out with me for the 1st time till 3 am....terrible mommy ! And the next day, she had a "hangover"....hahahaha, she slept right through till 10 am, woke up had her breakfast and continue to sleep till 1 pm.

Somehow, I have this intuition that my life is changing towards good and things are moving, just a few issues to work on and I hope the best is ahead of me.

I am not complaining...in fact I am happy with my life as it is now, waking up great everyday :)