Friends in the Dhamma

Today's meditation class is a special one as we celebrated our teacher's Bro James's birthday.

The evening started with a special blessing puja (prayer) and we continue with the meditation. At the end of the class, we sang him a birthday song..not the usual one but a Buddhism version..so sweet.

I have been meditating for more than 1 year and all this while, I attend as a loner, I don't normally talk to a lot of them except for one or two, of course not because I am arrogant but I am still consider a new comer, I do greet everyone with a smile whenever we meet. Tonight it is an exceptional night for me. Sister Jean who has been a meditators for years, came forward to ask me if I have offered the teacher a drink before, I said to her "No" and she said you will do it this round.

I feel very privilege and grateful to do this "noble" thing. Today is our teacher's birthday and on this special day I had been given this important assignment to offer a drink to our teacher. Our teacher has been guiding us for many years and not being paid a small token before. He voluntarily offered his dhamma sharing with us, and I am one of the benefited one, who has found some lights in life from darkness, and I am sure there are many who are like me.

After the class, I was invited to join them for supper and I felt I am part of this family and a step closer to knowing fellow meditators. We shared our experiences on meditation. In our class, there is this gentleman whom started a few months ago, I remember vividly those question that he asked and sadly he always seem lost when the teacher replied him. Tonight his question was, after he started to meditate, he is more generous in giving dana, but he is not sure if people is taking advantage of his good deed. The reply from the teacher was, when you give, you will give sincerely and full heartedly. You need not border to know if the other person is taking advantage. If the other person is taking advantage, that is his karma of wrong doing, but if he is consciously calculative of his generosity, that is his karma of ill thinking.

All of us seems to understand this principle very clearly, we do not ask for any return in favour of dana..and again I see him lost in the answer. I sincerely hope this new brother in the dhamma will have more wisdom and enlightenment soon.

Tonight is a great night, I had joy in meditation and it is the spiritual joy that makes one's life better, (calmness in mind) then comes the worldly (sensual) joy.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu.

With metta :)

When it happens..

I was thinking about many incidents in life and the coincidences.

It is like, if there is this, it might be that...

Some friends told me that I have been on vacation quite a bit, actually it is not true. Most of the trips were working and of course a few were personal vacation.

And my question is related to all my vacation. I won lucky draw for free accommodation in Kota Kinabalu and I paid a very nominal price to my colleague for additional 2 nights to make my stay worthwhile. On top of that my air ticket was partly sponsored by Air Asia due to the long delay that we experienced, so that is how I made my vacation to KK possible.

First time on a personal vacation, I thought there is always the first time, and I had to go during weekday, so didn't invite any friend to come along. And because of I was alone, I met a few friends. So in conclusion, the trip was worthwhile and truly rewarding...

Next was my vacation to Macau, it was also a free package that I won during the road show and because of the KK trip, I offered to a friend to accompany me and the Macau trip was another wonderful thing in life.

So, I was just thinking out loud, when it happens, the effect continues and whether is good or bad, there is always the cause and effect in life. On the opposite, if I have not attended the quiz session, I wouldn't have won the free night stay, if the flight has not delayed, I wouldn't have the voucher from Air Asia, and if I have not got to KK, I would have missed out something in life and if I have not won the free package to Macau..etc!

Actually I am not sure if this thinking is right..but I do believe everything has to happen for a reason..for that just accept the consequences and enjoy what comes along in life.

Boring

What a title for the post...

Actually I had busy day, brought the children to attend birthday party and in between had to make a trip to airport and back to be with the kids and watched them having great time.

I woke up early this morning and I should go to bed together with my little baby a moment ago, somehow, my tired body is against my will to sleep. I just spent the last two hours playing game, surfing the net..and thinking of someone..hahaha. Probably this is the missing part..I am missing someone.

I was afraid to sleep too early and I will wake up very early in the morning. My weekend has always been like this actually not much of activities, perhaps for the last 10 days, my sister was around and I was away with the children so it was busy then and that makes the different. Today, I suddenly find the house very quiet and I felt bored.

Yes, I miss someone. I am glad there is always something to look forward to in life, otherwise the life will be boring and less exciting. Hopefully this feeling will stay forever.

It has been awhile since I last posted a song..I heard this song while I was on holiday in Hong Kong.

Good night and wish you a sweet dream !

Numerology

I have this interesting article from my regular newsletter...something to share for your reading pleasure ! See if they are accurate :)

The day of the month that you were born on could be significant as it determines what type of job you might best be suited to do. This is because in some folk forms of numerology the digits of the day you were born are said to symbolize the tools and talents that you were born with in life.

So -

One. If you were born on the first day of the month, then you must be the center of attention so being a politician; public speaker, actor or performer best suits you. You are also a born leader.

Two. If you were born on the second day of the month you relate to people more emotionally than cerebrally and would make a good psychologist, counselor or sales clerk.

Three. If you were born on the third day of the month then you are tolerant of others and like the spotlight. You make a good teacher, theologian or performer.

Four, if you were born on the fourth day of the month you are energetic and have a good design sense. You make a good house builder or gardener.

Five. Those born on the fifth have inquisitive minds and make good scientists, teachers and computer experts. A job that combines technology with travel is perfect (such as a pilot.)

Six. You are pleasant, know what to say and would make a good advisor, consultant or nurse.

Seven. You have high ideals and are very precise. You make a good novelist, scientist or chemist.

Eight. If you were born on the eighth day you are good with money and are suited to business. You would make a good banker or builder.

Nine. Those born on the ninth of the month are independent spirits who make good counselors, spiritual advisors and healers.

Ten. Those born on the tenth are intense, political and natural born leaders. You make a good executive, doctor or quality control inspector.

Eleven. These individuals are sensitive to the needs to others. They make great teachers and counselors.

Twelve. Those born on the twelfth of the month tend to be consultants or fix it type people. It is characteristic for them to finish up the undone projects of others. They are good at mediating and sales.

Thirteen. You are a super salesperson who has both charisma and leadership abilities. You excel at architecture, designing infrastructures, politics and screenwriting.

Fourteen. If you were born on the fourteenth you have a methodical way of working that makes you a good contractor, manager or secretary.

Fifteen. This is the number of diplomacy and also denotes a person who will speak several languages. You make a good banker, diplomat or translator.

Sixteen. This is an idealistic number and you make a good social worker. You are also suited to shipping, fishing or working in hospitality.

Seventeen. You love education and would make a good professor. You are also a good counselor or psychiatrist. Fame as a writer is indicated.

Eighteen. You are good at project planning and management. You can thrive in any corporate environment. Construction and design are also possibilities.

Nineteen. You are egotistical and forward-looking. Information technology interests you but you could also be a good spiritual counselor.

Twenty. You are a natural homemaker and would do well as a nurse, caregiver or cleaning person.

Twenty-one. You are a master of speculation and organization and would do well in the financial or publishing industries.

Twenty-two. You are intuitive and scientific at the same time and would make an amazing nurse, doctor, counselor or architect

Twenty-three If you were born on the twenty-third day of the month, you are a very analytical person who can mediate or faceplate anything. You would make a good accountant.

Twenty-four. You are good at understanding what makes people tick and would be well suited to a career as a lawyer, paralegal, executive or psychologist.

Twenty-five. If you were born on the twenty-fifth day of the month, there is a very spiritual side to your nature, which makes you a good advisor, counselor or healer.

Twenty-six. If you are a hard worker with exceptional organizational skills and would excel in a supervisory or
management capacity of any kind.

Twenty-seven. If you were born on the twenty seventh day of the month, you are mercurial, intelligent yet quite eccentric. You are suited to science, telecommunications and working on your own.

Twenty-eight. You are very creative and egotistical. You also love to travel. You would do well working in the tourist industry. Working with animals also suits you.

Twenty-nine. You are a very caring individual and would do well in any medical field. You would also make a good physical trainer or physiotherapist.

Thirty. You are chatty, charismatic and have a lot of natural talent. You are suited to radio, television, writing or shining as an athlete or inventor.

Thirty-one. You are a true leader and quietly strong and confident. You are precise and would make a great researcher, scientist or explorer of some kind. You are also an excellent entrepreneur and others will willingly by from you or follow you.

A step closer to divorce

I went to see the lawyer to go through the documents once again.

Apparently the document that I have are outdated...don't really know how do they work !

Something in life has to happen, have to go through, face it and accept the consequences. Seating at the office, going through each page of the petition, Deed of trust and etc..I am not sure if they are all for my benefits..hahaha. Some friends told me nothing is guarantee, in most cases, after a few months or years if lucky, he might stop paying the maintenance, defaulting the agreement. What shall I do ? There is really nothing I can do about it. If it is really bad which I pray I will have amicable divorce, then only I decide what is next step.

I don't want to think that far, as of now, he is fulfilling his commitment which is something very important to me that I feel I am lucky and blessed to have him as a man who stays to his words. Despite what both of us have gone through, it is never easy for us.

There is nothing much I can do for him, I don't want to interfere into his life as I don't have the right to and I wish him well, happy and safe.

The last thing I want is to affect is my children. I want them to live their childhood the way other perfect family do. I know it will not be the same, at least my thoughts are strong.

The last vacation we had was a good one, I appreciate my sister who had accompanied me and lessen my load to look after them. Seeing the children and their own characters... mischievous, funny and everything about them, they made my day :)

Happy moments

I just spent two quality days with my children..

We decided to stay away from home during this long break, and instead of traveling further to South or North, it was just a short trip away @ Putrajaya Shangri-la. The hotel is quiet and the pool is almost ours...

When we first checked in..heavy rain and I was very disappointed as our plan to be by the pool to celebrate Joelle's birthday will not be possible. Thankfully the sun came back after 30 minutes and we couldn't waste any more time, head straight to the pool. We have late lunch by the pool and lots of great fun.

This is not my first trip to Putrajaya, but always for work and never stayed there later than 5 pm, and this time I drove around and surprisingly, the feeling is great. I didn't feel as if I was in KL or near KL. It is a city by itself very distinctive feature, different landscape, architecture and road as compared to where we live.

We had dinner at the famous Putrajaya Seafood Restaurant which is right across our hotel at the Taman Botanic, the food is just average and not value for money though!

This morning, we explored one of the many parks in the city. I realise the park in front of the hotel is actually just across the PM's office..if only you have a house across the street, you can walk to work. The park is nicely landscape but lack the maintenance especially the ponds and fountain sadly.

We spent another 2 hours by the pool just before we checked out, everyone had great time. It is all worth it..a great family outing.

2009 2009

A day to remember ~ 7 years ago I delivered my eldest daughter and today we are home away at Putrajaya Shangri la to celebrate her birthday ! It is a special day for all of us and we had so much fun and good time.

This post is done using mobile so it is a short one without all the lovely photos.

Hometown friends

Last night after a long while we had another get together.

It was at the happening place in Jaya One. We wanted to be at The Brussels ~ really happening place but at 5.30 pm, the place is already full despite heavy rain in the evening. Can you believe it ??? So we settled for The Monkeys...a name well suited for us...hahhaha!

The gathering was great, seeing friends whom we have not met for a long time. Two have recently been promoted to be fathers and one came all the way from hometown.

As usual in our gathering with hometown mates..it won't be complete without reminiscing good times back to school days, the facebook talk, the latest hobbiesm, sharing of recipes (for the ladies la) and most importantly our home made delicacies.

Next we plan to organise a pot luck and this will be only Kelantanese delicacies only....I am very excited about this gathering, now is to decide where to meet !!

Good to see old friends....thanks for making it last night !

May all be happy, peaceful and safe, with metta !

The Path to Liberation

This afternoon I reorganized my routine for the children as I have to attend the Dhammapada course ~ The Path to Liberation. This is sort of like bridging the inspirational and faith in me and ultimately more wisdom through Dhamma.

I remember early August, I received an email from my Dhamma sisters from the meditation class. It is an invitation to register for this course and I immediately replied the email and Sis GG replied instantly that my registration is accepted. 3 weeks after when I was away during my vacation recently, I didn't check my email and when I got home, I received the bad news about Sis GG has passed away while she was traveling in Ladakh, a trip that she looked forward to so much.

Today, our lecturer Dr. Tan HS paid tribute to Sis GG for instrumented this course, and my heartfelt thank for these volunteers for putting up such activities. I am how much I have benefited from it. The course is actually understanding the dhammapada ~ best known and most loved of Buddhist text. They are beautifully written poetry from the Buddha's teaching.

My first encounter is few months back where I know I need to have a copy of this. Today, Brother Tan shared with us the path to liberation which means, the path to nibbana (enlightenment). As a Buddhist, we seek enlightenment and end the cycle of suffering. As long as there is rebirth there will be death. Our mind is what control our thoughts and conditions our thinking. It is about how we cultivate our mind, disciplining our minds and hopeful for finding happiness within. However said, ultimately we will have to walk this path towards liberation ourselves, as no one can purify us, nor can we purify others.

Life is no permanent and all things are subject to change. Therefore we need to strive diligently and conditions ourselves to this path. I believe in loving kindness and with a well guarded / conscious mind, no one will be harm. When we think we are suffering, it is important that we address the cause of the suffering.

It is important that we choose to be associated with wise people or companion so that we benefit from the sharing of minds, through our sharing, we reflect and practise in life.

I like the following :

Dhammapada v.36

Sududdasam sunipunam
yathakama nipatinam
Cittam rakkhetha medhavi
cittam gutham sukhavaham
the translation is :

The mind is very hard to perceive,
extremely subtle, it flits to wherever it desires.
Let the wise person guard it;
a well-guarded mind is conducive to happiness

Dhammapada v. 112

Yo ca vassatam jive
kusito hinaviriyo
Ekaham jivitam seyyo
viriyam arabhato dalham

The translation is :

Should one live a hundred years
indolent and unenergetic, better indeed
for him just to live a single day,
undertaking steadfast energetic effort.

This evening has given me a better wisdom in life ! Something to remember :

Perseverance 恒心 ~ despite all the challenges in life

Patience 耐心 ~ despite the lack of progress / no perceptible changes
Metta 爱心 ~ despite all the pains and hindrances in life.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu !

Sharing my life with my children

I have been thinking of this and it is something that I need to share with the children.

My life and my marriage situation with my children. My son seems to know that we will divorce eventually. And he asked me if we are divorced? The status is the divorce should conclude by end of the year I think.

My eldest daughter said to me, "Mom since papa is no longer here, I don't want to talk about him and I will feel sad and you too." And I told them we have to move on with life and even papa has also moved on.

This issue is very tricky and it is not a one time talk sought of. It is something that we need to talk over and over again as we face life and changes. I share with them the important of feeling being loved, and they comforted me that they felt the love from me, and I have to love them even more as I am alone now, and in return they will love me very much.

I hope to have my children's understanding and support as we continue this life journey. My children actually accepted that they no longer will see their papa. They are great kids !

Cooking

What is your hobby? My hobby is to cook.

Honestly I haven't been cooking for years, and whenever someone asked me what is your hobby, my answer is cooking. I feel embarrassing to acknowledge and at times I doubt if I can cook well still.

Lately, I started to cook more especially when my under utilised oven is back in action. This oven was like "dead" for sometime and 2 months back it worked again.

Since then, I have been baking cakes, biscuit, pizza and tonight I baked chicken and potatoes with mushroom sauce and bake my own garlic bread, modern cooking baked only (not the whole process of making the bread dough la...).

I did a cost calculation for a family of 5 including my maid, it is so much cheaper to eat at home. I used to eat out and nowadays my children have grown up and they eat more and it is really more economical to cook at home. My estimated cost for dinner tonight is about RM30 for 4 chicken thighs and it served 5 persons. It is healthy and most importantly it has been cooking. Thankfully I have a good maid at home who will do the rest of the washing...

I told my children, we will have a nice fancy dinner once a month and the rest of the weekends, we make it simple.

See the picture above, that is what I cooked for my precious children and the ais batang is home made too...this is something I enjoyed very much during school days.

Life is challenging

This evening I was with 2 other ladies, and we have the same fate in life

Sadly we went through the same trouble with the marriage, financial situation and everything seem to fall apart in life.

We have challenging life, coping with daily expenses, and my girl friend said you have three...it is really not easy. At least for the moment, he meets his commitment on monthly basis which is a relief to me. As for my other 2 friends, they have more to worry financially.

Life is never easy, especially with children. I really hope I will continuously have the strength to live the best I can, I just hope to have a contented life and a day that ends with no fear.

I just learnt this from a drama that I just watched...I particularly like this closing script "As long as I have a partner to laugh with me, and he extends his hands for me".

My simple wish in life !

With metta always :)

Buka Puasa

It is a month after my very heartfelt event and finally we had our post mortem.

The post mortem only took less than 10 minutes to conclude and basically it was zero critical comment...what a relief... am so glad. Of course in side I am very delighted and happy that my baby event was a success. Most importantly I have enriched my awareness related to Thalassaemia disease and I am even considering helping the association as a volunteer or committee. Honestly, I was just offered to be one this evening.

Our post mortem continued with Buka Puasa hosted by my client together with the committee, and some medical professionals from the hospital. It is a nice dinner where I don't feel isolated either way, I feel the genuine kindness and warm from everyone.

Glad all went well.

Painful memories 2 years ago

Time flies it is 2 years now and I can still remember them very clearly.

I am not sure if this is good or bad, as I said to myself, don't look back the past, let it go and close that door, another door is awaiting but this daunting memories still linger on.

It was a nightmare to me 2 years ago, every part of my life broken into pieces, unemployed, lonely, uncertainty, lost and totally fearful.

It hurts me both physically and emotionally and two years after, I have become much stronger emotionally, the physical pain has gone but the bad memories stay.

I really wish I can wipe them out...but it is never possible. I only wish to have more love to ease this feeling. I am not sure writing this post will help me to forget the past...but I guess it is those once for all...never look back !

I read through my old posts and I found this article Create A Life of Love that I have posted which is truly inspirational and motivated for me to move on. I do have fear to love as much as I think I can, but life goes on...I will over come it soon,

Maybe this time, maybe it's you !

God bless me :)

Our Song

Do you have a song that you called it "Our Song" ?

I do and strangely I heard this song in particular many times whenever we are in the same scenario and circumstances in life.

I find having a song called "OURS" is very romantic and it is a way for two committing into a relationship. And how long does it take or at what stage of a relationship for a couple to have "Our Song" ? Perhaps not every relationship will even come this far. Once I knew this person and we share a lot deep affections for each other, but we didn't share a song that is ours.

I only have 2 songs and even though I have more than two relationships in life. Both songs fitted into my life and they mean something to me. They are great songs...

Feeling refreshed and recharged

How do you feel after one week of vacation ?

I was just talking to someone about vacation and seems like a minimum good break should be about 5 days. And I just had a 7 days break, I must say I am so blessed to have this luxury.

I feel totally refreshed and recharged. Both mind and body have well rested and rejuvenated though I had a bit of discomfort during the trip probably due to the change in diet and activities. Most importantly, I came back with a healthy skin tone...and now need to look at some new shade for make up palette to suit my colour...hahahaha.

I have a clearer mind to move on with life, a lot of encouragement to walk on. I will deal with one thing at a time. Hopefully I can sort things out soonest possible.

A good reminder for me after the trip is :

Forget the past, they are history,

close the door and move on there is another door waiting for me.

It has been totally inspirational and motivated trip as well...thanks :)

Fabulous vacation

It has been the longest break for me since I started to blog and it is also the longest vacation for me....and truly a wonderful and memorable holiday!

A week vacation for me is hard to come by, and I had before with my family and kids and the experience is different.

It is just superb in many ways...

Flew on Air Asia as part of the prize that I won, checked into the hotel with great location, but the bed is way way way too hard. It doesn't even feel like a mattress, made a complain to the front desk, nothing much can be done. The breakfast was just average..very typical chinese breakfast with some continental selection.

Day 2, our sightseeing day and the most adrenalin excited day - I walked the Macau Tower at 233 metres high ! I did Sydney Tower walk before and it is guarded by railing, and in Macau, the walk is only with harness that works exactly like the safety belt. Trust me, I wasn't prepared for that...but it turned out well, had a certificate to show off....hahahahaha and a photo CD and the bright orange T Shirt.

We did what a tourist would do visiting Macau, ate the famous Portugese Egg Tart, freshly baked....yummy it was good ! The weather in Macau was so humid and I was dripping like never before, as good as seating in the sauna.

What was good throughout the trip is the gastronomy discovery of Portugese cuisine. My famous is the clam in wine sauce....yummy. I had more than once...hahahaha ! I love the baked Sardine, a simple dish yet so tasty. The famous Sucking pig is a must to try but not really my preference. As for what Macau is famous for - casino, all I have contributed was HKD20...so it is really not my thing to do in Macau.

Second highlight of the trip was an overnight visit to Hong Kong. It was as hot as in Macau perhaps a little better. Did the ferry from Hong Kong to Kowloon, something that I have not done for years, took the tram to visit the Peak, enjoyed a nice lunch seating at this corner with the best view of Hong Kong and Kowloon. Last but not least, the romantic stroll along the Arena of the Star in the evening. Came back dead tired...and took the ferry back to Macau.

Our return to Macau is different, we took the premium turbo jet which was a complimentary upgrade. Food served on board but it is definitely not necessary...at 4.45 pm, they served us yogurt and cake which I feel is more like a breakfast set...but anyway, it has been ok too.

We checked into a lovely 5 star resort, a total contrast to our first hotel. The bed is heavenly and the lobby is cosy and people are much more friendly. Met up with a friend who has made our stay memorable. The rest of our stay was just relaxing by the pool, eat and sleep...and a bit of shopping for souvenirs. We went to check out the newest place in Macau, City of Dreams but kinda disappointed because the Hard Rock is just a hotel and not the Hard Rock Cafe that we are familiar with. Venetian is too big and full of Chinese...I feel the lack of exclusiveness and luxury feeling.

We went back to our favourite restaurant in Fisherman Wharf for the Clam in Wine Sauce and almost missed out the top thing to do which was a prayer at A-Ma Temple. We reached the temple just 10 minutes before its closing time. I did my prayer for a great year ahead...

The vacation ended yesterday with me looking a lot more healthier due to the sun tanning, looking radiant and totally refreshed, maybe 1-2 kgs extra...oooops!

7 days can be really too long for Macau and Hong Kong but with the right company, it is never too long :)