I am so blessed !

I just came back from the long overdue meditation class.

One year ago, I started my very first meditation class and it was metta meditation.  I went there on my own after a friend told me there is meditation class in BU.  I searched the net drove there as a total stranger to meditation and the centre.  All I knew then was I needed to seek calmness and free from suffering.

I can remember very well, the first lesson was so impossible to concentrate, I felt numbness on both legs, my mind was totally unfocussed, funny thoughts and I felt it was never going to end.  But that hasn't stopped me from going the following week, unfortunately it was a Hari Raya holiday season, the class was cancelled.   And I tried the following week, to my disappointment, again there was no session then.  

Soon after that, I tried to meditate at home, but not very succesful and months after that, I met up with my business associate's and he recommended that I should join Maha Vihara's meditation on Tuesday evening.  So I went once and found I am such a beginner, so I started all over and it was a Vippasana Meditation.

Today, since I came home early, I decided to drop by again at BU Buddhist Society to continue where I have left one year ago, and I am blessed that the meditation session was led by honorable Bhante from Sri Lanka Buddhist Vihara in Sentul.  He led us through the meditation in a very easy way, imagine our self, all beings at home, all beings in the village, all beings in the world and universe including the animal, last but not least to imagine our enemy.   The imagination is all about seeing everyone one being happy and less suffering.

Maybe I am not so lucky but I am truly blessed with kind and helpful peoples when I needed most.  I recalled when I was so down, I went to the temple to seek advice from Reverend Ratana, I was so blessed that despite his busy schedule, I appreciate his time spent with me and his valuable advice. I was even his driver that afternoon, taking him to the Ti Ratana Orphanage.  It was an eventful day for me that I will never forget.  And I appreciate others new and old friends who helped me in keeping my faith strong to continue to live happily.

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu !

How To Practice Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation

Learning to perfect my meditation...hope it helps !

Heart Sutra

Today I had a good 45 mins brisk walk, sweat out while listening to my ipod !  I decided to listen to Heart Sutra and I am glad that I was listening to this chant in different mood...less emotional.  In the past, I listened to the Heart Sutra in Pali language a lot as it is a way to calm me when I am very unhappy.

Actually today is not the best day for me, deadline to meet and some personal issues to deal with, one after another and this is just the beginning of the process.  Though feeling sad with the progress, I am hoping I can conclude it soonest possible without much hassle.  

Conclusion...I am happy about my personal improvement..!  So happy about it.

My trip to Shenzhen & Hong Kong on Air Asia

Last weekend I was away for work to Shenzhen and Hong Kong, traveling with me were a group important businessmen in OA industry.

We took Air Asia and being a low cost carrier, we pay less for many obvious reasons which I don't want to share here la.  But one thing I observed during the almost 95% full flight and nearly 90% were men.  Can you imagine all "ma lat lou" a little "hum sup", of course not all la..because on the same flight, there were a group of "Chinese sinseh" visiting medicine factory in Shenzhen neighbouring cities.   But somehow, there is a strong association of men going to Shenzhen and neighbouring cities like Dongguan and Changping for great social programme, entertainment and great food.

Our guide shared with us that the population age group is between 18 - 35 years old and it is very true, hardly see old folks in the city. And most of the Shenzhen residents are not local, thus they don't speak cantonese but mandarin. 

I enjoyed most was the hiking or "hang san" at Lotus Garden.  It was a good 45 mins walk up to the top of the square for the city skylight of Shenzhen city and the most popular Chairman Deng's bronze statue.   Enroute, we tried the local delicacy 冰糖葫芦which is haw coated with sugar or honey ! 

Fortunately our returning journey was from Hong Kong, and the flight was so much more pleasant,  there were family on board, very decently dressed businessman and less "hum sup" looking people on board.

Overall, the trip ended well and great to have known more friends on this trip.

Every decision in life

I just need to pen this down and today I have made another important decision in life.

Everyday in our life, be in at work or home, we made decision even when I am doing my grocery shopping, I made decision the type of fish to buy, considering if there will be too much bones for the kids.

When we were young, a lot of decision is made by our parents. I remember when I was about to further my study, my parents have objected my interests and was persuaded and convinced to do something that I am not doing it now. Nevertheless, that decision made was right then and I have acquired some useful skills that can be used at work.

When I started working, more decisions made by myself, looking for job, decide on place to stay and I realised I was totally independent from very young age.

Then, it was time to decide my life partner, met him, fell in love and committed to marry him. Another important decision was made. Many decisions were made along the way being a couple for both of us and the family.

What I want to note is that every decision made is right at the time of making and things evolved over time and we just have to accept what happened after that. So, life goes on and just be hopeful for things to get better along the way.

This is just a process in life...!

Lost and Confused Mind

Have you ever had those days where your mind is not focussed, so confused about situation in life and lost direction. When this happened, I find it is contagious and everything seems to be in a mess.

This is not new to me and it happened to me on and off, and I read books and listen to songs to calm myself, simply hopefully for a calm mind. At times it will last a few days, and I am back to my cheerful self.

Thankfully I have read some useful guidance in Buddhism teaching and other articles from the web that help to strengthen my positive thinking. At least it helps ! In life, we are happy now and then we are sad again, and this is all about our mindset. Actually our mind is always calm and clear, and our thoughts is the one affecting our emotions.

I was in FGS on Sunday, talked to the master about improving my meditation and she was so glad and suggested that I should attend a one day Meditation retreat at FGS Dong Zhen, very interested to attend but who is going to take over my weekend errants..sigh.

The master has guided me during my down time and my gratitude to her being my mentor and nowadays when we meet, I know how grateful I am for having met her at the right time. She has helped me to overcome my problem and it is from there my devotion for religion is strengthen.

Conclusion is I have to change my mindset to be mindfulness and have control over my emotions. I am working on it...!

Joke of the day

Halloween is around the corner...let me share this joke about ghost ! Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died. 1st ghost : How u died? 2nd ghost : I died of cold.  1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?  2nd ghost : Actually, I was imprisoned in the refrigerator. Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died. Fortunately, I died with not much sufferings.  1st ghost : You're so pityful....  2nd ghost : How about you? How did u die?  1st ghost : I died from heart attack.  2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?  1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man. One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone. I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing. Because I was too tired of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

2nd ghost : Why didn't you look for the bastard in the fridge? If you did, both of us were alive now!!

I Love How You Love Me- Bobby Vinton

It is such as beautiful song that one can imagine slow dance together, lovers expressing their feelings for each other...so romantic !

Can your ex be your friend ?

I thought about what to write and I really want to share something about my friendship with my ex boy friend. I had known him since school days and had gone through few bitter years on and off and eventually we went separate ways. And he is now happily married with 2 girls.

He left to further his study and he came back and settled down, got a job and we met again, and we were friends again. And we are truly good friends even till now despite how much tears I have shed when we broke off. You know what !? I should hate him for life for what he did to me after all those years we were together....haha !

In any relationship, a lot of couple split after sometimes for many reasons, those that I can think of like third party, too possessive, misunderstanding, family objections, long distance and many more excuses. But the truth is how many could actually let go and continue to be friends without bitter feeling ?

Seemingly I am one of those that are able to let go and continue to be friends with my ex, I realised all my best friends are actually my ex who knew me well. Not too sure if this is good or not ? Perhaps at times only one party is able to face the situation positively but the other may take it very badly. Of course, the process takes time and once you are able to think and accept the fact , life goes on ! For sure I don't create enemy with my friends and being able to let go and move on in life is a great thing. In life, we go through different phases and though some are not destined as a married couple, just keeping the friendship is truly wonderful.

Do you agree with me ?

My Life & My Precious Three

                                                       It has been a bitter and sweet moment for me for the past 2 weeks, I have been blessed with a warm friendship while feeling sick from sore throat to fever, then again mild throat infection to running nose.

Last night Jordan felt sick too with bad throat.  I think I have passed on to him. Few days back, Joelle has been complaining about her tooth ache and finally I brought her to dentist.  I am not sure if you have the phobia of visiting dentist, I do since young.  I hate dentist visit but not anymore.  Simply for the sake of encouraging the kids, mommy has no more fear and after all it is not that bad experience with the advance technology.

When I picked her up from the ballet,  she was so chatty and hyper, I asked her what's wrong with her...she replied something very comforting.. "because you pick me up early and I love you".  I am so proud of Joelle, when we arrived at the clinic, Joelle was a bit nervous, I had to boost her confident that it is going to be painless and comfortable.  I was worrying that she will not do it.   I was wrong,  she is so brave and able to do through the whole process without any complaint.   And she needed a root canal, so the cavity is quite bad.  And she could even joke about she has a permanent mint candy in her tooth.

Guess this is just part and parcel of my life, everyday bound to have something to worry for them.  They mean so much to me and anything and everything about them is so important to me.  

When Jordan took part in his very first taekwondo sparing competition, it was a truly family affair, we got up "so" early making our way to Klang.  Waited the entire day till the end of the competition and he won a silver medal.  I was the coach on site...more like a motivator and moral supporter la !   And recently he passed the red belt exam and I am happy for him as I see his openess to share with me what he learned for the day.

Lately I realised my children have grown so much and they are very sensitive towards my feelings. Each time when my precious children expressed their love to me...I feel so happy and touch.   And I just want to love them even more.

Friends been telling me they are my future - is so true.  Some friends suggested that I should send my kids away to stay with my parents so that I can work without worrying about them...believe me, I will go crazy.   Though at times when I come home feeling tired from work, the noise can be stressful but I know I have a family.  Once they have gone back to my hometown,  when I got home, I was feeling terribly lonely and find myself lost at home.

Life has not been easy for me for the past one year but thankfully I am blessed with beautiful kids who motivate me to continue to live to the fullest.  I will let go of the unpleasant part of my life, the bitterness will soon be over and move on to another chapter of my life.   

Nail Salon - Anjelah Johnson - Comedy Time

Something very funny that my friend Huey has just shared with me about the thick accent of foreign workers in US especially the Thai and Vietnamese.

Enjoy and have a good laugh...good for you !

A day to remember

Today is a day to remember.

It is my daughter's concert day !
It is my daughter's kindergarten graduation day !
It is supposed to be a day to remember for another reason....(sorry can't reveal though..haha)

My 2 older kids have attended the same kindergarten and they both had their share of performing for the concert.

I recalled 4 years ago, my son's first ever public appearance, we were so excited then and when the school handed us the costume, the joy of dressing him up is still fresh in my memory. I think he performed a "Boogie Woogie Dance" and 2 years ago, my daughter's first concert and she was a cheer leader....performing "Hey Mickey". And this year, I think I am even more excited than previous years , took half day off from work just to be home early and get her dressed up. This year she performed a Korean dance, Pom pom girl and sang a finale "Friends or Pengyou" by Emil Chao.

If only these children understand the meaning of the song, they would have sang it with more emotions. It is such a meaningful song about true friendship. But I certainly hope my girl will cherish her school day spent with their little friends.

Congratulations to my sweetie daughter Joelle for a job well done.

Capable Mother

Few days ago, I was waiting to collect my car from the car jockey at the hospital after my visit to the clinic.  You probably is wondering why do I need a jockey service at the hospital.

I thought this is something very thoughtful of the hospital...but minus the cost la. It is compatible to 5star hotel jockey service.

Even though it is expensive, but let me share with you why I wouldn't mind paying it.  Being parents, it is normal that we need to bring the kids for regular immunisation or check up.   At times, either one of the parents would not be around. So this jockey service will come in handy. Just drive to the lobby, open up the pram, put the baby down and there you go to the clinic.  

I felt happy for extending my help to a new mommy...her little precious is probably 1 month old, and she was alone and a little unorganised.  I can understand how she felt and I offered to help her while she sorted out her "expensive pram".

I have been through what she is going through now...and I must say every mom is capable mom in their own ways and it takes some practice and adaptability of changes in life.

What is more important in Life !

Extracted from an email....

Very nice story - MUST Read it ! 

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage....and that much misery is enough !"  

"Dad, what are you talking about ?" the son screams"!  

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.   

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you can call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!" 

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.  

"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, I'll take care of this."  

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, "You re not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there.  I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do anything, DO YOU HEAR ??" and she hangs up.  

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.  "okay", he says.  It's all set.  They're both coming for Deepavali and paying their own airfare !!

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.  

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

Quality Times

Today has been a real busy day and I have promised the kids to dine out.

The usual dining out means taking them to their favorite restaurant, order their favorite dishes and once finished off we go home.

Tonight, I decided to do something different. Recently I bought this game "Rush Hour" for my daughter's birthday and it is a good game even for adults. It comes in adult and junior levels. We took it with us to the restaurant, had our dinner and started to play the game.

I must admit I haven't had this quality time with them for very long time. When we are at home, we (including my kids) are so occupied with our own activities, and rarely we could sit down and enjoy board games and etc.

We had great bonding being together and I promise them there will be more....

Inner Peace

Today I discover inner peace in myself.

I am not sure if what I felt is inner peace to you. I was waiting at my client's office and laughter could be heard from the conference room, and my thought was they are sharing moment of joy and I realised I have a smile on my face too.

As I was walking out, met few ladies at the lift lobby, I had to hold the lift for them but I felt relaxed and we had conversation. I looked back 1 year ago, I struggled to find this inner peace in me. The happiness I felt today is just natural and the external condition had no effect on me as my mind was peaceful. In fact today my car had given me another major problem and for the past 3 months when I dealt with the same situation, I felt so unhappy but despite knowing the damage and the hole in my pocket, I accepted it that this car has over worked for me for the past 1 year.

I know this inner peace will stay with me as long as I want as it is the condition of our mind that determines the happiness inside us.

And I like to share this extraction from email "Happiness is inside job" and "Mental happiness is beneficial".

Beautiful Girl - Jose Marie Chan

I just love this song..reminds me of my younger day..hope you like it too.

Quote for the day

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Francesca Reigler

Show our love

2 days ago, I felt really sick and I was bedridden yesterday. I felt so awful with the unbearable body aches, couldn't even motivate myself to get up from the bed to send my girl to school. I told her that I can't send her to school and she just nodded her head with a smile. Then she turned to me and told me, "Mom, I can take care of you". Throughout the day, my girls including the baby girl had been so attentive and constantly checking on me. When my son came back from school, he gave me a hug that was so comforting.

This is the type of love that we accept easily with open arms. This is the kind of love that money can't buy it. And this is the kind of love that reciprocates in manifold from each other.

We do need love and I feel loved.

Love is a basic human need. With love we feel connected and emotionally full. The thoughts of love in our life will help us to deal with the ups and downs and make it easier to bear. We even get sick less and get well faster. I will definitely recover faster knowing family and friends care so much about me.

Love can come from anywhere, lover, friends, family, religious practise, natures and even our pets at home.

Let us show our love without regretting in the future !

Something good today

This evening while I was waiting for my children, I stopped by a kiosk to look at some pretty dresses. There is this lady looking at me and I knew she needed some opinion on the clothes that she tried on. I can understand how much she wanted my comments as on other occasions, I would do the same too.

I happily shared with her my sincere opinion and she had so much to talk to me about her liking for food that she has put on so much weight. Since I have read some articles about keeping fit, I shared with her too.

Just happy sharing what I have learned and hope she will find it useful too.

Being a mother

I am sure all the mothers out there know their roles and responsibilities the moment their first child arrived. Personally I have experienced very emotional moments when the doctor handed me my baby. My tears welled my eyes when I have the first look at them. My husband once asked me why do I cry, it is just the naturally instinct of the mother and child connection that he or she has safely arrived to the family after 10 months journey inside me. I can't explain how other mothers experienced their pregnancy, but I just loved the process though can be rather awful at the beginning, mood swing, bad appetites and etc.

When my first child arrived, I have stayed home to be a full time mom..believe me it is worst than working in the office. My days started the moment he woke up and my job still hasn't stopped though he had gone to bed. However tired then, I enjoyed the time spent with them. It is very much 7 x 24 x 365 type of job and I remembered then his daddy was posted abroad and I was already trained like a single mom.

I recalled those monthly visitations to the pediatrician have been moments of joy seeing their development, taking note of their weight, height and health situation. I must say I am blessed with healthy children throughout their infancy days.

Life situation has changed and I have double roles as a mom and dad. Being a working mom, it is really not easy, I need to provide them with loves, be patience with them, understanding them and lots of other responsibilities. I am learning everyday to cope with the changes in life, hang in there as long as I can and remain positive.

The role of a mom will not end till my last breath...once a mom, always a mom. I decided to pen it down so that I can read this over and over again and remind myself of the noble role of being a mother.

辛曉琪－承诺

Hi friends...just in the mood to share beautiful songs with meaningful lyrics ! If you don't understand..never mind la...I can translate...

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love Lyrics

In Love

I have asked myself many times if I really can handle another relationship ? My best pal teased me that I have been through it and now probably can handle at ease.......haha not true la.

Obviously I have not dated someone for the past 16 years and I tried but it is really not easy. It is never like when we were young, school days where we do not have other responsibilities like work, family and etc. Those carefree courting days are gone...

To fall in love and fear to fall out of love again..and fear of being distant after 1 or 2 dates, at times not even sure what is happening. To move from one level to another level of commitment and fear of being too deeply involved. Guess that is just part and parcel to start a relationship.

I believe communication and I mean real communication will lead us to a long lasting healthy relationship. And the kind where you know the incredible clarity and beauty that will bring to our relationship once we make that effort.

Imagine how it would feel to finally have the trust, comfort and certainty from knowing that you have a partner who is genuinely and deeply committed to you and your relationship.....

Share with me what do you think about this...

Something nice to share

I didn't write this but received from my sister..thought is nice to share. A little sad but it is quite true at times and we just didn't realise how much we have appreciate and done for the people next to us ! Happy reading !

BEING A MOTHER...

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.'

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years, but the demands of my work and my two boys had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last birthday on November 19th.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into that new white van. 'They can't wait to hear about our date'.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she was the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large prints. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation-nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date ?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'

• Somebody said it takes about 6 weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby
• Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.
• Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
• Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping
• Somebody said being a mother is boring
• Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
• Somebody said if you're a' good' mother, your child will 'turn out good'
• Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
• Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother
• Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
• Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first
• Somebody doesn't have two children.
• Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery
• Somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
• Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married
• Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.
• Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home
• Somebody never had grandchildren.
• Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her
• Somebody isn't a mother.

This isn't just about being a mother; it's about appreciating
The people in your life while you have them....no matter who that person is.

Joke of the day

Yesterday my little girl Jolene waved at the dog and said good bye doggy...she seems to be fearless when approaching dogs.

So my son Jordan started this topic with me about chinese horoscope. He is born in the year of Rabbit..so he said he should get a long well with people born under the same sign, and my eldest daughter Joelle is born in Horse year, therefore she will get along with all the horses and come the baby, born in the year of dog...that explains why she loves dog.

Comes the mommy who is born the year of monkey...Jordan said "mom you don't have problem with us as we are the 3 monkeys at home !"

A Little Love & A Hug

I just read an article this morning about all we need is a little love.....

I agree with the writer and just a simple gesture towards a person means a lot to me. In our daily life, we have our routine and that is exactly what I have been doing that I find it so tiring. Past 2 days I have been resting at home means so much to me. I was more relaxed...I had spent time with my kids doing things that we usually won't do on Wednesday and Thursday....nothing great but break the routine....you know what I mean ??!!

My kids appreciate very much and my girl is so sweet...she said "You are the best mom". I guess she could feel the little love from me. I usually would please their little requests just to see their happy smiley face. It means so much to me and I am sure they feel the same too.

Today is a World Smile Day...and hugs for all !

Online Games

A friend introduced the online game website to me recently, out of curiosity I tried. It can be real addictive and now I know why my son is so interested to spend time on the computer. If you like to try when you are so bored like me at times, please visit www.orangeshark.com

Once I have installed the Zuma and believe me, the entire family was addicted to it, even my mom has made it a pastime for her. I played for months till Level 12 and it took me a long time to break through Level 12. When I finally hit Level 13...I find myself so silly to have spent hours and hours of time on it...

Buddhist Chant - Heart Sutra (Sanskrit) by Imee Ooi

Just feel like sharing with you the Heart Sutra. This video has helped me a lot, simply soothing and calm.