Happy Wesak Day 2010

This is an anniversary celebration for my voluntary service to Buddhist Mahavihara Temple.

I chose to be helper at the Registration Counter. I find it a tougher job than what I was doing last year. I still remember how my fingers scented with the natural scent from all kind of flowers. It is a much easier and organised job somehow.

Seating at the registration counter, the challenges are different. Some volunteers who came and names not found listed in the duty list, some wished to change duty and some were not happy with the given T Shirt that not fitting very well. There were many sections of responsibilities and it has been not easy to really tell all what they were supposed to do.

This morning the temple was extremely high guarded by security and police as Prime Minister and his wife were the guest of honour together with at least another 10 Ambassadors and High Commissioners. The welcoming for the couple was truly Malaysian, from the native Sri Lankan Dance to Kompang and Lion Dance. It is so colourful...it is about 1 Malaysia.

That is about the front scene that all of us managed to see, but at the back of the kitchen, celebrities chef Gordon Ramsay was busy cooking very privately preparing meals for the guest of honours was told by the papers read few days ago.

What a gala Wesak Day celebration !

Most importantly is year after year of visiting temple on this special day and many other non occasional day, my faith for the teaching of Buddha and its precepts are far better understood.

Peace in oneself, peace in the world

Where there is lovingkindness, peace is found too !

Sadhu sadhu sadhu !

New Journey

The month of May has been very eventful for the last two weeks.

I have posted earlier the various incidents that had happened and last Thursday was my last day at work.

As expected I didn't hope for a big good bye party. I have been not very "engaged" into the environment maybe I just couldn't due to the issue I was facing with the management. Therefore the farewell was good that I hadn't face the boss but instead a nice lunch with my fellow colleagues. I had asked for a half day early release that took half day of my salary, but it is all worth it, otherwise I have to return to work still tomorrow.

The soonest I quit my job, my new adventure begins. I have an excited world out there awaiting for me. I had meetings that I have not had before, it is not the same thing that I have done before, business lunch and drinks with partners of large corporation.

I know from today, my life is about to change. I share this with the kids, told them Mom is now the boss of her own company. My brilliant son extended his hand to shake my hand followed by "Congratulations Mom".

I know this is a wonderful thing in my life...but reality is I still have both feet standing firmly on the ground. This is just the beginning, it is important to stay as humble as I am. All I need is the right support and commitment towards my business and I will be someone one day !

I love it...and I love you so much !

The after divorce feeling

Am I happy after divorced ? I have posted on my facebook wall as : the day has finally arrived..I am done with it.

The comments that I received are congratulations / great days ahead / way to go and etc. They know exactly how I should feel about this day.

I guess for those who are not aware of what I was going through earlier, maybe it sounded like I just got married. But it is the otherwise...I have just divorced, I ended my marriage of 13 years. I wasn't sure of what is the feeling...but fore sure it is a relief. I know I have a closure to the relationship that has turned bad and unpleasant. It is good for both of us. For him, if he wishes to remarry and settle down with a new partner...I wish him well. As for me, I want a release from the past...the rest is history.

I have so much to look forward to. The life ahead of me will be blissful and happy. The new journey will be exciting and interesting part of my life. So much about me, most importantly is I am happy mom who will bring happiness to the kids. They have gone through a rough time too...they have seen how I suffered emotionally that had affected them too. The kids deserve a happy parent...it is my responsibility to bring them up happily. They may have shadows of the past...from now onwards, I hope the shadow of the past will slowly disappear from them.

I can see their joy on their little faces a few days ago when we went out for family dinner. All three were trying to get their attention from us. This is all about parenting. I am glad I have beautiful and fun children.

I am a new person, a person who has strengthen my faith in life, a person who is about to embark on a new experience. Anything about to happen in my life will only be a wonderful and truly happy life for all.

The happiness is in my hand !

Eventful Week - I have resigned, I have divorced

It has been quite an eventful week. It is more to do with making decision. Every decision that I made will affect me for the rest of my new chapter of life.

Firstly I have tendered my resignation after almost two years working in this company. A place that I have learnt new experienced no doubt about it. Unfortunately, it is the environment and the people (not all) that I just couldn't blend in well. When I first started working in this company, I encountered some age gap, and also the mentality and attitudes toward work is far different from my previous environment. However, after some discussion with the management, I tried and it was ok. Somehow in life, we need to move on and I decided to.

Now, the next decision or rather something decided almost two years ago finally concluded. My divorce proceeding since November 2008 has called it the day. It is 10 May 2010, we finally stood in front of the judge and accepted to dissolved the marriage vow that we made in 1997. When you are the registrar of marriage, you said "I Do", at the Family Court, you declare "I do...understand". It is that you understand your responsibility after the divorce. My first experience...hahahah obviously, the court is packed with all strangers other than your supporting family members, ex husband and the legal counsel. It is quite funny that the legal counsel read out what is agreed upon the petition to the whole audience....hahahaha, and ours seems to be the longest read!

After the court announced it will be legalised after 3 months, I suddenly asked myself if I have asked for a lot from him. Sadly, I feel the whole marriage turned bad was due to financial matter. Money seems to be in the way in life, and create obstacle and trouble for many. Business partner turned sour, employer not honoring what had been promised eg.. commission and salary, marriage couple coping with bills and financial commitment..

I have a life to live with three young kids..I need to organise our lives! My ex (officially certified today) was having small argument with me outside the court room. He raised some money matter of the past, and he claimed he is paying me more than what he used to provide the house. I asked myself again, he asked for divorce, he said he will provide etc..etc..and I asked for what I feel we deserved, and he agreed. However yesterday morning in the court, he sounded like I had put a gun at his head to agree, and seem to me I had forced it. Why is it still so unfair to me ? The petition is mutual and if one feels unacceptable, why accept ?

Whatever it is, the most disheartening is he never even asked about the children ? It is coming to three years and the only picture I have sent to him is probably 2 years ago and yet he shown no care or concern about them at all. Whatever is written in the petition about the access to visit the kids are bullshit. It was all written so that the divorce can pull through as he denied all access to the kids since the day he decided to divorce.

Ok..life move on, new chapter, new job and new life. The past has its closure and it is the future and the new journey that matters.

Everyday will be a beautiful day, blessed one and a grateful one.

With metta to all, especially family and friends that have been giving me lots of moral support.

A Conference To Remember

The last week of April had been really busy for me. The conference that I have been working on for almost one year finally took the stage.

Originally targeted for 700 persons but it hit only 500 persons and it is a good number. It is not a world class congress but Asean level and the support from the local has been encouraging. The programme was packed for 2 1/2 days.

The site is crowded with over 21 booths exhibiting their services and products. It has been such a good experience for me managing the entire project. It is like a pregnancy process but it took longer than 40 weeks. So one can imagine the size of the baby "project"....hahaha! The process went through some hiccups...just like any pregnancy you bound to have some difficulties here and there. Finally, the baby is ready to see the world..and some preparation required for the labour, quite a painful one !

There is another event that I organised in conjunction with this Asean Federation of Haematology Conference. It is a CML (Leukemia) event for patients. Some of them look as good as anyone of us. It is heart touching to see how one encourages another to be strong.

At the end of the event, nothing is perfect as much as we hope it will be. We have our own scorecard be it the client, vendor, myself and the delegates. It is hard to please all, but as long as we consciously know our commitment and responsibilities toward the job that matters most. I did my best !

With metta to all !