Happy Children

My life is surrounded by laughter of my beautiful children. On good days or bad days for me, it makes no different, their laughter remain.

Children are so innocent and pure but they are no longer the kids of older generation. They are mature and sensitive too. Sometimes I wonder if they know what is happening in the family. The answer is they do. My girl shares her story from school that her friend is also a single parent kid.

I remember almost three years now, I told myself that the kids' life should not change. I know it is tougher to do it all alone and I struggle still. My concern is that I want the kids to remember their childhood the way it should be. Honestly I won't know what will be the impact on them, probably I will see when they grow up. All I can do is to make sure they are given the best quality life as much as possible.

As of now, I know they are always so happy, they play together, fight and argue too. Mostly I can hear is their laughter that make my day. I guess this is the best I have done for them, keeping that cheerfulness in them.

Metta for my beautiful kids always....

沒那麼簡單

I was listening to this song while working and her voice and the lyrics captured my attention. If you understand mandarin, it is a nicely written song. Life is all about "沒那麼簡單"!

沒那麼簡單 就能找到 聊得來的伴
尤其是在 看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安 只好強悍
誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經

沒那麼簡單 就能去愛 別的全不看
變得實際 也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單 一久也習慣
不用擔心誰 也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西
感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話 隨便聽一聽 自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒
一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上 關上了手機 舒服窩在沙發裡

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
想念最傷心 但卻最動心 的記憶

Stressful March

It has been a very tiring and stressful month of March. It all started with the tremendous huge expenses that I had to pay for the car maintenance, maid's renewal permit and school fee and another blow on the car maintenance just last week.

Life is so tough especially when all these unexpected expenses got on me. I almost feel suffocating with the situation. Just when I thought my car is ready to take me miles without much problem, it is just unfortunate and it needed another repair.

Now comes the maid issue, she is due to go home in March but due to all this nonsense with the Indonesian maid that both governments hadn't come to agreement, we, those who really need a maid to look after the children are suffering. Some had to go for Cambodian maid that who hardly speak English and it takes about 3 - 6 months to understand each other. I can't afford this and to hire a Filipino will be too expensive for me and next option or no option is to wait for the release of the Indonesian maid and this is unknown when.

My maid is happy to extend a few months for me but still I have to pay a bloody big amount for her renewal. And from my many years experience of hiring Indonesian maid, when they are due to go home, their behaviour is questionable, they are not as hardworking and all sort of problem will arise. My poor kids are in her hands ! In any case, I have to prepare almost RM10k for the next application ! I wish I don't have to depend on them.

Last but not least, the job that pays my salary isn't coming along well. Felt really not motivating after 21 months with the company. I have been busy this month and reasons why I am not motivated ? I have the answer..Sad but.....

What to do...I have so much stress to deal with ! This is a post of letting out my frustration after not writing for so long. Wish I am writing something that is beautiful about my life but got to let this out and move on to seek better life.

Good night all !

The Lucky Ones

I found this song and the lyrics meant a lot to me...

This is what I feel about two as one and hope this lyrics will remind each other how to keep the relationship always happy and appreciative.

Honestly this is not my favourite song...but can't help it the lyrics is meaningful.

The Lucky Ones

Sometimes you're sentimental

I know exactly what to do

And if I'm temperamental

You calm me down and you pull me through

We are the lucky ones

We have one another

When the end of the day has come

I return to you

Life can be so demanding

Sometimes it's hard to make it through

It's love and understanding

You give to me, I give to you

Our own fairy tale

Our favorite bedtime story

One that we won't forget

We fell in love

We knew from the start

We'd always be together

The first time that we met

Can't forget

All alone in the setting sun

I'll have you and you'll have me

Good or Bad

Good or bad ? How do you know ?

Life is so unexpected and we don't know what we have decided upon is going to be good or bad. Recently I met a few friends and they told me about bumping onto my ex and his girl friend. I haven't seen him for some times and have no idea how he looks like now. The report I have is that he has put on weight and look a bit older. Even I had grown older now..so it is natural that he does.

My friends told me that she doesn't look as attractive as I do ....hahahaha is that something to make me feel good ??? Yes la a little I admit. But whether she is not so pretty or not, does it matter ? Now it is not who he found that matters to me, I am not the best too for him and there is no perfect in relationship. He found her to be good in some quality that he can't find in me and I can't see some qualities that I like to see in a man. He may have not lived up to be a perfect husband but I know he tried. Whether he has made the right choice....who knows!?

So Good or Bad choice ? Nobody knows really. Just live in current moment and make good relationship to yourself !

Chinese New Year 2010

Gong xi fa cai to all !

It has been a real busy weeks and I just didn't have time to sit down to blog much. Time flies, we are into 3rd day of Chinese New Year celebration and soon we are on 15th day. This year I celebrated my new year in KL. In the past, I will spend some time preparing Chinese New Year especially the last week buying some stuff to cook, decorate and whatever. However, one week before the new year, I was away in Singapore and only spent the last two days before CNY in KL.

Despite being so busy, coping with work, family and friend visiting, I had a real good week spent with family. It is about bonding and getting to know each other better.

While I was in Singapore, in fact this is the first time I visited Singapore during the CNY. Drove around the Chinatown area, seen the decoration on the street and I actually felt the mood for CNY. I read an article in the newspaper while I was there, read about the God Protector based on the Chinese Horoscope. Somehow, I saw the temple by chance as we were going for an appointment and I decided to do some prayers. I found out my Protector and adopted it and hopeful for great blessing. It may sound a bit commercialised but I guess it happens everywhere nowadays.

It has been a wonderful week for me, did a lot for the family in a very special way. I sincerely hope the children are truly happy and feel more love than before. I am truly happy.

With metta to all, may all being have a wonderful year and success is awaiting for all in whatever you endeavored.