A family vacation

It is coming to 3 years I finally took the kids for a vacation on my own. Kids have been lucky to have great aunties, grand parents who love them very much. I planned for this family vacation since February and kept it secret away from the children. Two months ago, broke the news about the vacation to Bali.

We were away for one week vacation at beautiful Nusa Dua beach. How do I describe the trip ? It is fun, lots of laughter, also tired and stress coping with kids all day long ! Overall, my rating is a wonderful one. It is wonderful in many ways, children are seen very happy, the bonding is stronger which I could feel it wasn't there for awhile. Everyday is a learning day for me. Understanding everyone around me, coping with their moods and whatever that comes by.

It wasn't just vacation, I worked too trying to close a deal. But it is all worth it, the vacation seems like a paradise to us, sitting by the pool almost 1/4 of the day, and enjoying evening cocktail (not much of sunset) but enjoying the sea breeze and just relaxing.

Kids wanted our attention so much that Joelle sent a note to our room stating the time for UNO game...hahahaha. How could we ignore their request !? Such a great family bonding effort from her. I starved the kids without lunch on one afternoon, and they had no choice but to open up the mini bar and consumed the Oreo, but worrying how to inform me as I was out for an errant.

Little things that kids have done to make a man happy through their personal feeling and writing on a special card. It is a great feeling and I look forward to more of such family vacation !

One year ago

It was this day in 2009, I went on a solo vacation to some very romantic resorts in Kota Kinabalu. Two months prior to departure, I booked the flight and hotel for the complimentary stay that I won during my quiz and lucky draw session. The booking is for myself and weeks before the trip, I wanted some friends to join me but unfortunately no one wanted to come with me.

I think it is fated that no one was supposed to come with me. I took a midday flight and almost missed the check in time. I arrived at the airport and a local friend picked me up and sent me to the resort which is 45 mins from the city.

Checked into a very large room, a big bed enough for 3 persons but I was all alone. Not really sure what to do on solo vacation, simply sat by the bed, turn on my laptop and started to blog. I sat lazily looking outside the balcony and decided that I should just go down for a nice dinner. I was the only one who sat alone at the restaurant. I felt very odd and strange alone and I should have just ordered room service. No, I wanted to do something different and I enjoyed 2 hours dinner at the restaurant. Almost 10pm, decided to sit by the lobby lounge to enjoy the live music. Ordered a Mojito and reading some magazine under a dimmed light.

Seating not too far, there was a gentleman dressed smartly in light coloured shirt and a dark coloured slack. There was no conversation till I think when he asked me about Mojito. I moved closer to him upon his invitation and also the music was loud. We started our conversation and not till very late, we had the live band to play us a lovely "Besame Mucho" on clarinet. It was very romantic....

After that I left...I went back to the room, wondering to my self, why am I here at such a romantic resort but all alone ?

Next morning, I woke up early went to the gym and had a good breakfast and chatted with a few guests who were traveling to Langkawi next. The trip to BKI was meant to be purely vacation but since I was pitching for a job, I took some of my personal time to inspect another resort. I left in a hurry and came back only after lunch. It was a sunny afternoon, and I booked a pampering massage and finished around 6 pm. Not really sure what to eat,I walked past all the F & B outlets and I decided to try the buffet. It is really not the best choice.

Went back up to the lobby to listen to the live band and supposedly to meet him again, but he didn't show up. Guess he couldn't remember after so many long island tea. As I was leaving the lounge, I saw him. He invited me for a drink and we sat and chat with few other guests. We had another drink we decided to go back to the room. We walked to the lift and he gave me a good night kiss...and he said this "I think I will love you" and he stepped out of the lift on 3rd floor and I was on upper floor.

We had a date the next day to go to STAR taking the shuttle service as I was checking out from RRR to stay one complimentary night in STAR. Unfortunately he changed his mind and decided to stay in the resort for other activities. We bid farewell...I thought we will never meet again and it would have been just a memory of this man that I met in RRR.

Now, one year later we are together and relationship is getting stronger day by day! Our love for each other is eternally and we want to grow old together ! It is now our lives and planning for two !

Happy Anniversary !

Happy Wesak Day 2010

This is an anniversary celebration for my voluntary service to Buddhist Mahavihara Temple.

I chose to be helper at the Registration Counter. I find it a tougher job than what I was doing last year. I still remember how my fingers scented with the natural scent from all kind of flowers. It is a much easier and organised job somehow.

Seating at the registration counter, the challenges are different. Some volunteers who came and names not found listed in the duty list, some wished to change duty and some were not happy with the given T Shirt that not fitting very well. There were many sections of responsibilities and it has been not easy to really tell all what they were supposed to do.

This morning the temple was extremely high guarded by security and police as Prime Minister and his wife were the guest of honour together with at least another 10 Ambassadors and High Commissioners. The welcoming for the couple was truly Malaysian, from the native Sri Lankan Dance to Kompang and Lion Dance. It is so colourful...it is about 1 Malaysia.

That is about the front scene that all of us managed to see, but at the back of the kitchen, celebrities chef Gordon Ramsay was busy cooking very privately preparing meals for the guest of honours was told by the papers read few days ago.

What a gala Wesak Day celebration !

Most importantly is year after year of visiting temple on this special day and many other non occasional day, my faith for the teaching of Buddha and its precepts are far better understood.

Peace in oneself, peace in the world

Where there is lovingkindness, peace is found too !

Sadhu sadhu sadhu !

New Journey

The month of May has been very eventful for the last two weeks.

I have posted earlier the various incidents that had happened and last Thursday was my last day at work.

As expected I didn't hope for a big good bye party. I have been not very "engaged" into the environment maybe I just couldn't due to the issue I was facing with the management. Therefore the farewell was good that I hadn't face the boss but instead a nice lunch with my fellow colleagues. I had asked for a half day early release that took half day of my salary, but it is all worth it, otherwise I have to return to work still tomorrow.

The soonest I quit my job, my new adventure begins. I have an excited world out there awaiting for me. I had meetings that I have not had before, it is not the same thing that I have done before, business lunch and drinks with partners of large corporation.

I know from today, my life is about to change. I share this with the kids, told them Mom is now the boss of her own company. My brilliant son extended his hand to shake my hand followed by "Congratulations Mom".

I know this is a wonderful thing in my life...but reality is I still have both feet standing firmly on the ground. This is just the beginning, it is important to stay as humble as I am. All I need is the right support and commitment towards my business and I will be someone one day !

I love it...and I love you so much !

The after divorce feeling

Am I happy after divorced ? I have posted on my facebook wall as : the day has finally arrived..I am done with it.

The comments that I received are congratulations / great days ahead / way to go and etc. They know exactly how I should feel about this day.

I guess for those who are not aware of what I was going through earlier, maybe it sounded like I just got married. But it is the otherwise...I have just divorced, I ended my marriage of 13 years. I wasn't sure of what is the feeling...but fore sure it is a relief. I know I have a closure to the relationship that has turned bad and unpleasant. It is good for both of us. For him, if he wishes to remarry and settle down with a new partner...I wish him well. As for me, I want a release from the past...the rest is history.

I have so much to look forward to. The life ahead of me will be blissful and happy. The new journey will be exciting and interesting part of my life. So much about me, most importantly is I am happy mom who will bring happiness to the kids. They have gone through a rough time too...they have seen how I suffered emotionally that had affected them too. The kids deserve a happy parent...it is my responsibility to bring them up happily. They may have shadows of the past...from now onwards, I hope the shadow of the past will slowly disappear from them.

I can see their joy on their little faces a few days ago when we went out for family dinner. All three were trying to get their attention from us. This is all about parenting. I am glad I have beautiful and fun children.

I am a new person, a person who has strengthen my faith in life, a person who is about to embark on a new experience. Anything about to happen in my life will only be a wonderful and truly happy life for all.

The happiness is in my hand !

Eventful Week - I have resigned, I have divorced

It has been quite an eventful week. It is more to do with making decision. Every decision that I made will affect me for the rest of my new chapter of life.

Firstly I have tendered my resignation after almost two years working in this company. A place that I have learnt new experienced no doubt about it. Unfortunately, it is the environment and the people (not all) that I just couldn't blend in well. When I first started working in this company, I encountered some age gap, and also the mentality and attitudes toward work is far different from my previous environment. However, after some discussion with the management, I tried and it was ok. Somehow in life, we need to move on and I decided to.

Now, the next decision or rather something decided almost two years ago finally concluded. My divorce proceeding since November 2008 has called it the day. It is 10 May 2010, we finally stood in front of the judge and accepted to dissolved the marriage vow that we made in 1997. When you are the registrar of marriage, you said "I Do", at the Family Court, you declare "I do...understand". It is that you understand your responsibility after the divorce. My first experience...hahahah obviously, the court is packed with all strangers other than your supporting family members, ex husband and the legal counsel. It is quite funny that the legal counsel read out what is agreed upon the petition to the whole audience....hahahaha, and ours seems to be the longest read!

After the court announced it will be legalised after 3 months, I suddenly asked myself if I have asked for a lot from him. Sadly, I feel the whole marriage turned bad was due to financial matter. Money seems to be in the way in life, and create obstacle and trouble for many. Business partner turned sour, employer not honoring what had been promised eg.. commission and salary, marriage couple coping with bills and financial commitment..

I have a life to live with three young kids..I need to organise our lives! My ex (officially certified today) was having small argument with me outside the court room. He raised some money matter of the past, and he claimed he is paying me more than what he used to provide the house. I asked myself again, he asked for divorce, he said he will provide etc..etc..and I asked for what I feel we deserved, and he agreed. However yesterday morning in the court, he sounded like I had put a gun at his head to agree, and seem to me I had forced it. Why is it still so unfair to me ? The petition is mutual and if one feels unacceptable, why accept ?

Whatever it is, the most disheartening is he never even asked about the children ? It is coming to three years and the only picture I have sent to him is probably 2 years ago and yet he shown no care or concern about them at all. Whatever is written in the petition about the access to visit the kids are bullshit. It was all written so that the divorce can pull through as he denied all access to the kids since the day he decided to divorce.

Ok..life move on, new chapter, new job and new life. The past has its closure and it is the future and the new journey that matters.

Everyday will be a beautiful day, blessed one and a grateful one.

With metta to all, especially family and friends that have been giving me lots of moral support.