My birthday

My birthday is just around the corner and this year I will be away from home. My thoughtful daughter knew that I will not be celebrating with them and felt sad about it. Therefore, she kinda planned this advance celebration with my sister. So sweet of her. She even planned that I should go away during dinner that allows her time to get me a birthday cake....hahahaha !

It was a simple Chinese dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in One U. I ordered Mee Sua which is a dish that traditionally symbolizes longevity...as I am getting older, I also believe in traditions and culture...

My sweetie girl even thought of what kind of gift to get for me...how can I not love them ! Guess what...the lovely present is a kiss from her.

Thank you my precious..

Life after two years

Past few weeks have been exhausted and tiring. I traveled so much that I can feel the body is rejecting and I feel depriving from sleep. More traveling coming soon..not complaining because I chose to let it happen.

I feel so sorry for my children that I have been away from home, I have no choice at times work requires me to travel. I guess this is all about life.

Few days ago when I came back from trip, I saw my ex driving in town. I felt uncomfortable because I feel bad and sad that I left the kids with the maid where he could have spend sometime with the children. Sadly he didn't want to be associated with the children and it is now more than 2 years.

This is one of the hardest thing for me being 100% single mom with 100% responsibility of the children. I miss them and when I get home, they drive me crazy.

Whenever I look back what happened two years ago, I remember I was down, I was weak and emotional. I often asked why it has to happen ? Why it has to be me? The future is bleak, blur and I was confused. Then I come to accept the problem and now I feel whatever has to happen, has happened and I just have to live with it. My girl friend met him recently and told me he has put on weight, I am glad he is taking care of himself well. He met his love of his life (that is how he wrote to me...was hurtful reading it then) and I take it as a blessing that someone is there for him when his life is turning towards the worst time. I know I have suffered and hurt too by accepting this fact.

It is now more than 2 years..there is no more what if and why questions. I have let go of the thought. That part of my life was the worst I have ever experienced. Perhaps that is the path that I need to go beyond. I told myself, it can only get better and better. I am seeing progress and there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I am seeing it gradually.

I read this and it is very motivating "All you can do is give your best effort until bedtime. Let tomorrow take care of itself"

Meditation Progress

It was a tiring day for me due to lack of sleep the night before. I still made it to the class because I had missed the week before due to extensive traveling lately. While waiting for the class to begin, I felt very sleepy and there is Sis Jin who offered a hot drink for me. And she suggested that I should do walking meditation instead..so I started walking meditation officially last night.

I feel good and it keeps my concentration better. Every movement is being observed and focussed even while standing. I think I will continue with more walking meditation.

I have been practising meditation and I find it is all about self realization. We have books to read about how meditation works for us, but it is all about our own experience. Something that I have learnt, in life we will win and we will also lose, but whatever the outcome, we have to be prepared for it. If we prepare to gamble, we should be prepared to lose. We can win and we can also afford to lose, and that is something we constantly reminding ourselves.

When we are happy, do not get overjoyed and forgotten what the reality is, and when we are sad, do not let the sorrow drag us too long. It is about us understanding equanimity, a balance of mind. I believe when one suffers badly, and when it hit the bottom, it is also the time to bounce up again.

The best is to stay neutral and practise stable and evenness of mind. When we face unpleasant situation, do not let the perception affect our thought that leads to our action or speech. It is best to be mindful in reacting to life situation.

I reflected at one scenario, and I felt I have overacted and I feel sorry. It is just my perception that it was wrong. That is the good thing of being mindful...

Just my thoughts for the day :)

Phase of life

I don't know what to write..it has been great but it is hard to express.

At times I don't believe what I am going through now, it is almost like I never expected it would be, but it has been going well. Life is turning towards positive side.

This phase of life is something I once lost or it has never been felt before. It is just great and I truly appreciate it very much. Nothing is permanent but at this moment, I just want to enjoy it and embrace it and I hope this stays. Life is very strange, at different stage, we experience differently. Few months ago, life seems to be in the darkest moment and little I have expected it to be totally afresh and exciting experience.

All I know is I have an exciting life ahead of me and it will be great and filled with love and joy, love for my children and people around me. Am I a changed person ?? Perhaps yes, a person who is more confidence now, have strong spiritual guidance towards life, knows what life has to be, face it and live it to the best.

Am I happy ? Perhaps yes, I am feeling the serenity and calmness and that is happiness to me.

I only want to say...thank you for being here for me.

Used vs. Loved

I received this email and find this a good reminder to us...I reflected and it is useful...

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

My Amazing Thailand Trip

Amazing Thailand ~ truly one amazing trip for the last 7 days.

Initially I was a bit reluctant to go especially when I knew it is a 7 days trip..The impression is that 7 days in Thailand would definitely be bored. Nevertheless, I went on as planned, it is a hosted trip by Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT). A trip to introduce the Amazing Thailand and its many wonders in Thailand.

We went to a few provinces namely Ratchaburi, Phetchaburi and Chachoengsao. If you are familiar with the Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, that is located at Ratchaburi, and if you know where is Hua Hin, it is near Phetchaburi and Chachoengsao is about 80km from Bangkok city towards the East.

The first night, we went for a large scale show with 2000 seating capacity called Siam Niramit. It has a good entertainment value and well organised too.

The following day, we began our traveling on coach to various provinces, firstly we visited a factory outlet for interior and home linens. We did 7 wonders in one day which includes visiting soft toy factory, a privately owned park that preserved the culture and history of Thailand, candle factory, hot spring and lovely boutique resort with only limited number of villa at Suan Phung. This small town is located at the border of Myanmar and it was naturally rich in mineral previously. Now the township is turned into exclusive resort for the local Thai. Each villa can go as high as RM500 per room per night and is fully booked every weekend.

Our journey continued with a visit to Cha Am, another small town where it is not highly populated and located about 30 mins from Hua Hin another busy resort city similarly to Krabi and Phuket. A place that you can find Starbucks and other franchise outlet. The trip is never complete without Thai massage and I had one at Cha Am. The hotel we stayed is called Tara Mantra which is 3 mins walk to the beach front. This is one of the best in Cha Am with only 88 rooms and a very modern design infinity pool that comes in 3 levels.

We continue our journey back to Bangkok, our trip has added excitement and thrill when we narrowly escaped an accident with a truck. We were all screaming and thankfully the coach stopped in time. Enroute, this is the place for those who loves local Thai cookies, dried pork, candies, dried fruit and etc. The Thais are so creative in designing that one will not want to eat it.. simply happy looking at it. We had simple meal like "mixed rice" what the local eats...yummy. We also tasted the local "O liang" meaning black coffee and fried banana.

We got back to Bangkok on Halloween Day and we were hosted a buffet dinner at Siam City Hotel and the buffet spread was creatively decorated with Halloween deco and scary looking bloody eye balls...We had a good get-together and know each other night, a very happy evening. A visit to Bangkok is not complete again without a visit to Four Face Buddha. We went for prayers and asked for blessing for another great year ahead. This place is forever crowded and never short of people. In fact, we went to so many temples and had many blessing...I am sure life ahead will be good and blessed.

On Sunday morning, about 150 tourism friends attended a product updates for Thailand. It was good to know what Amazing Thailand has to offer and its 7 wonders. A very nice video presentation that promotes everyone must have "once a life time visit to Thailand".

Thai food is something we are not unfamiliar at all, yet we are never tired of Tom Yam every meal. In Hua Hin, we had the best seafood, everything was so fresh but EXTREMELY spicy. We were introduced a must try "Khao Man Kai" means "Chicken Rice" which operates 24 hours near Pratunam area. It was good and nicely fragrance, and not too oily. Last but not least, the mango with glutinous rice....delicious.

The other thing that we couldn't resist is the shopping temptation surrounding our hotel at Pratunam area. Pratunam is a wholesale market for fashion and a lot of clothes that you see in small boutiques are actually from this market. If you wish to enjoy lower price like savings of RM5-RM10 per piece, you need to buy 3 pieces and above.

One of my favourite visits for the past 7 days was a visit to Chachoengsao, we took a boat cruise (Bang Bakong River) and we stopped at the restaurant by the river for lunch. The lunch was by the river bank...sort of like a floating style and what amazes me was the 100 years ago market. The original condition of the shops and its original wooden structures are conserved still. As we walk passing the small market, we stopped by to see the local making "Kratong" for loy kratong festival. We took part as well in the evening, walking in jam packed street towards the Chao Phraya River where we let go of our kratong. There are many version of the festival and for us it is to take a way our bad lucks with the kratong. The kratong came in many sizes and priced differently too and again the Thais showed off their creativity and I am impressed.

The trip has come to the end where we have a few hours of last minute shopping before we visit our local agent and the tiger breeding farm. We had a chance to cuddle the 2 months old cub and another round of mango glutinous rice and an irresistible brownies from Imperial Queens Park Hotel

The trip ended with lots of great memories and met a few new friends from the industry. We exchanged ideas, so it was an event to create and share great experience.

I miss my blog

I have been away for the past one week traveling around Thailand. And this trip somehow, I decided to travel without my laptop and I find so much inconvenience without one.

Work wise I felt handicapped and I depended on my mobile, and I can't really blog much too..and I regret not taking with me. Each day on the road, there is so much to write about the journey.

Now I am home but can't remember all the fun and have them posted on the blog.

I am too tired to post tonight...shall try tomorrow !