Another week about to end and I started to think what have I done this week and what have I achieved, and what are the good things that I have done for myself, people who cares for me, my work and my family.
While we are all busy with our own agenda, thoughts and worries, I realised at times I tend to focus on less important issues. At times in life, we need to have the clarity and to be sure of what's there for us.
I been trying to act on free wills and follow my heart but I am always doubtful. This morning unable to sleep, woke up very early and my mind was all about what happened in the week. Later in the day as I was driving my daughter, suddenly I realised I missed driving her to school. And I realised how much she could cheer me up and kept me company being chatty.
When we got used to something in life, it is always difficult to adapt when changes took place. The people, environment, routines and things. People who has always warmed our heart, had stopped doing so, enviroment that has been so comfortable, but now feel out of place and no sense of belongings, and etc. I need some time to adjust myself, I know I can do it but with courages.
When I feel so miserable, I tried to divert my attention and focus, at times I find it hard to open up with my family as they have seen what I have gone through, I kept to myself with tears rolling down when the mood is affecting me. My poor kids have seen me crying..I desperately need to balance and it makes it even harder especially when all things are not in favour including my bread and butter.
Life is so unpredictable, seems like everything not in favour are happening all together, personal life, relationship and work.
The good thing is I am glad I have my devotion to religion to keep me hang in there, read about attachment. It is really difficult and it takes lots of mental ability to control. Met up with Chief and updated him my situation, he shared with me his view and blessing for me that everything will be over soon and free from sufferings.
Another good thing is my daughter's long awaited ballet concert is happening tomorrow..can't wait to see her performing on stage and be a proud mom.
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