Getting into relationship

Interesting topic for everyone and most of us will go through either one or a few ! Some people are just lucky to have found the soul mate from the very first courtship some are true love, or puppy love even ! How sweet this can be ?? Actually not many that I knew, but in actual fact, I have seen friends around me whom have married their childhood sweet heart and still happily married with grown up kids.

So what is the secret of this successful marriage ? I am not an expert in this but from my very own experience, I feel it is all about the willingness to give the love unconditionally and committed to the relationship.

Having said that, my friend posted an article in fact a sad story of a man about to divorce his wife, and his wife has asked him to carry her out of the room till the day the divorce is done. So...he accepted her wish for the last time though he felt ridiculous, day by day, he beginning to see closer into his wife's eyes, her wrinkle and how they have grown older and how beautiful she was, something he has missed all these years....and it was too late then. So this was the topic for us (all ladies), and I shared with my girl friends what was it like when I was with my husband.

From the day we started courting, not a single day we walked out of the house without a kiss or coming home without a kiss, we even shared our public affections when we feel like it, of course there were days when we quarrelled, we probably would skip the morning one, but the evening or before sleep, we would make up.....lol. Maybe it is my character that I am impatience sometimes, or I dislike making the person I love feeling unhappy, I never want to leave anything unpleasant overnight, if we need to talk it out, it should be done without much delay.

So, after what my girl friends heard from me, they were totally surprised. What makes a man changed over night...?? The point here is no matter how great your relationship is with your spouse, if it has to happen, it will for a reason. From the situation I am going through, honestly I can't speak on his behalf what is on his mind, but it is a matter of his non-committal into the marriage, and he wanted a break away or a way-out from the responsibility of a husband and father. And to have him changed overnight....I think I can sum up the reason as there is history to his behaviour and man's ego issue.

Have I fail in my marriage, yes I did ! But it is not something that I have orchestrated it to happen or wish it to happen to me. It is something that no one would ever hope for it to happen if given a choice. Sometimes I feel I have been victimised in this failed marriage, but I do admit that I do contribute to it. Having failed painfully has only made me a stronger and wiser person, a better person to understand and make things better in the future. Sincerely, I pray that everyone will find their wisdom to maintain a good and happy marriage not this painful way that I have gone through. And everything happened for a reason...only God knows perhaps it is my good karma that I deserved to have beautiful children who love and adores me.

If only I could turn back time, I am sure both of us would try to make things better for the marriage. Perhaps over the years, we have different expectation for each other, life is no longer the same with children, the added responsibility, the demand towards our career, but unwilling to accept the fact of life as it is. While only one party is trying to reconcile, making the necessary effort, it is not going to work. To me, to maintain a long lasting relationship is the ability to see the person that you love as he/she is.

Thus, getting into relationship is about the seriousness and commitment of both that makes it work. My uncle who is in his 60s recently remarry a single lady who is in her early 50s. Even though he had an unhappy marriage but this new life is probably a great companionship and compatibility that he finally found.

I have many chat friends who would tell me what sort of woman they like...some young one said matured woman, and some older ones said otherwise. Perhaps there are certain facts that why young one like older person or vice versa. At different stage and going through changes in life, we really do not know who is meant for us until the day we meet our destiny. Even if you have met and married that person, it is still no guarantee that there won't be separation...thus, just enjoy la when is sweet and do your best to bring out the best of both.

Truly to me, it is about the compatibility and the maturity of one in handling relationship. It is about the willingness to love, coupled with sincerity and honesty of one towards the relationship.

True friendship, passion, understanding and patience is what I think that could lead to a healthy relationship eventually. It is important to leave some space for each other and not too judgemental about the person you love. We are all not perfect, it is about the willingness to learn and see the good value of the person we love and how it could compliment our lives.

Love is a gift, not an obligation, follow your heart and trust the person you love !
It's the way you read the sign that determines your happiness !