About Me

My photo
A lady with great sense of humour..love to laugh enjoy friends company, choose to live in current moment, forget about yesterday..like what a friend said to me tomorrow is mystery.. Happiness is a voyage...not a destination. "You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free"

Monday, December 29, 2008

Create A Life of Love



When you feel loved, life is wonderful. You are happy, alive and free. You feel better about yourself and everything around you.

By Bill Ferguson

The same thing happens when you give love to someone else. Watch what happens when you compliment someone or say how much you appreciate someone. Notice that the person feels empowered and automatically becomes more loving towards you.

If you want to create a life of love, you have to open your heart and give love. As you do this, you receive love in return. You create a positive attitude and great things happen around you.

Unfortunately, opening your heart and expressing love can be very scary. We are afraid that if we open our heart and express our love, we'll get hurt.

We've been hurt before and it's no fun. To make sure we don't get hurt again, we put up our walls of protection. We hold ourselves back and we push people away. We create distance and destroy love.

Without noticing, we push away the love that we want so much.

To see how our walls of protection push away love, notice how you feel when you are around someone whose walls are thick. Notice how uncomfortable you feel.

Now notice how you feel when you are around someone who is open, with little or no walls of protection. Young children are like this. Notice how comfortable you feel around this person. Notice how your walls automatically come down and how loving you are in return.

As your walls of protection come down, you create love.

We put up our walls of protection to avoid hurt, but the hurt we are avoiding isn't outside ourselves, it's inside. So instead of keeping the hurt out, our walls of protection keep the hurt in. Instead of protecting us, our walls push away love, create opposition, and bring us more hurt.

The most powerful protection doesn't come from your walls, It comes from your love. When you open your heart and express love, you melt opposition.

Now look in the face of someone who is open with little or no walls of protection. What do you see? This type of person is happy and alive. This person has freedom, inner peace and a joy for living.

If you look, all the words that you would use to describe this person are the exact same words that you would use to describe the experience of love. The words are identical because this is what you are seeing in this person.

Love is the essence of who you are. Love is your life force. As let go of your walls of protection and you allow your love to come forth, you create a life that works, a life full of miracles. When you cut it off, you have suffering.

Now look in the face of someone who is very protective and unwilling to be hurt. What do you see? This type of person is rigid and dead. There is a thick crust of hardness, anger and resentment, and beyond that, a tremendous amount of fear and suppressed hurt.

Which face would you rather have? Which life would you rather live? To have your life be as great as it can be, be like a young child. Open your heart and be an expression of love.

Be willing to feel your hurt

To do this, you be willing to be hurt, again and again. This doesn't mean go get hurt; just don't run from it. Be willing to feel any hurt that may come along. Feel it willingly like a child. Let it come and let it go.

Remember, the hurt that you are avoiding is nothing more than an emotion. As you allow yourself to feel this emotion, willingly like a child, the emotion runs its course and goes away.

Look forward to opportunities that allow you to heal more hurt. The more you are willing to be hurt, the less you will be. The more you avoid hurt, the more you will be hurt.

Here are a number of questions that can use to help open your heart. Work with each question until you can say "yes" and mean it. Allow yourself to experience all the fear and hurt that gets reactivated by these questions.

   Are you willing to feel all your hurt?

   Are you willing to feel your hurt willingly like a child, and let it come and let it go?

   Are you willing to be hurt, again and again?

   Are you willing to let go of your walls of protection?

   Are you willing to be open and vulnerable like a young child?

   Are you willing to open your heart and express your love?


The more you open your heart and express your love, the more you make it safe for people around you to do the same.

The world doesn't need changing; the world needs loving. There are seven billion people on our planet and almost all of them are afraid to open their hearts and express their love.

We go through life with our walls up waiting for others to take the first step and express their love. Then, if we feel safe enough, we will open our hearts and express our love in return.

Unfortunately, almost everyone is waiting for someone else to take the first step, and few do. As a result, we live in a world where people go around protecting themselves instead of expressing their love.

When your life is about opening your heart and taking the first step, you alter the planet. You make it safe for others to open their hearts and express their love.

When enough people are willing to open their hearts and express their love, the rest of the world will follow. We will have a planet that is loving and supportive.

The process begins with you.


Wonderful Life

Take A Look Back At Zero Eight (Part II)



Second part of the 08 seems to be more exciting..where romance took place, change of job, new environment and made serious changes in one's life.

I guess the romance star of my life started to attract the opposite sex and a few came along the way till I found him.  Some of them that I have known, just simply no sparks, or almost there but we have not even met till today.  I feel it is better to keep it that way and have the friendship as pure as possible and till the day when we are comfortable, let's meet.  Do you think is possible? Anyway, life and love are not easy in anyway, bound to have bumpy rides and bitter sweet moments.   This person came into my life, touched my life deeply and the connection is simply different...though I can't remember exactly my courting days with my husband then, but this feeling is very different.   I simply can't explain.....haha !

About my marriage life, it is time to make a decision which I have pondered over it for months..and the thought of to move on or not was really difficult for me.    Finally, I made the call to end it as he has wished for since end of 2007.  I still remember the day after I met up with the legal advisor, for the very first time, I couldn't remember where I parked my car after 20 years of driving experience.  I thought I was tough enough and after all, I realised I am just an ordinary lady facing trouble in marriage, and I also have my weak moments and keeping that brave face for so long can be tiring too.

Life can be cruel and life can be great..it is all about how we look at it.   Have been through great moments with him and also bitter times, eventhough our time together was short, the more I would keep this memories inside me.   And I thanked him for being with me and I wish him well and hope he shared the same as I do.

My special day arrived and I am now mid way to the end of my life assuming if I can live till 80 years old.  I feel good being at this age and life begins here.  I have to enjoy them to the fullest and make the rest of my life better with more accomplishment ahead of me.  On this special day, I shared with my children the reality of what is happening in the family.  And I love them and their understanding, and now it is time for me to be more sensitive towards their emotions dealing with it.

Let's welcome 2009....wish for dreams come true, good health, lots of love and be happy ! Metta Loving Kindness to all :-)

Crazy Little Thing Called love

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Value of Woman In This World


This couldn't be said more beautifully :

Be careful if you make a woman cry, God counts her tears;
A woman came out of a man's ribs;
Not from his feet to be walked on;
Not from his head to be superior over;
But from his side to be equal;
Under the arm to be protected;
and next to the heart to be loved !

Saturday, December 27, 2008

妈妈的男朋友


今晚和孩子们的话题就是妈妈的男朋友!

实在很有趣的话题!我们今晚用韩国料理,我的大女儿突然问我,为什么我有那么多韩国服装?在学校也跳韩国舞蹈。其实,我怀着她的时候,看了好多韩剧,所以当她出世时,她的样子有点像韩国女孩。有点像崔智友,大美女。我不是很认真地回答,因为妈妈喜欢吃韩国料理,喜欢看韩剧,所以她的服装也是必所当然!然后我和孩子们说那妈妈也找个韩国男朋友,还是任何种族肤色的人!

我儿子的反应是,妈妈可以交男朋友,但不可以结婚!我问他为什么呢?我说因为爸爸不在,所以妈妈可以认识男朋友!他说因为他怕他们合不来!他说妈妈的男朋友需要九年的时间和他相处后,才行!

我没想到我的孩子会有这种的想法,他只有九岁,他的想法竟然这么成熟还是我意想不到的! 我安抚他, 解释给他知道妈妈最爱的还是孩子,妈妈一定先考虑孩子们的感受。如果妈妈交男友时,一定会告诉他们!

这孩子好可爱!

一份感情

一份感情。。真感情,有这回事吗?

大概五个月的事了,有一天,收到一封邮件,就这样开始了。当初,不怎么觉得有默契,就一两次网上聊天,不知不觉, 一两个星期过了,差不多每天都必须在网上见。他们的话题聊得非常投机,两人的默契, 感觉,不是一般的朋友,好像是一份天赐的缘分。就这样他们的关系开始亲密。他们无时无刻的向对方试爱, 早晨发短讯问好,晚上发短讯祝他发个美梦。 这段爱情真的是爱的轰轰烈烈。

终于,经过了5个星期的网上相爱, 他们初次见面了。 两人一见面的时候,脸上很自然的流露对这份感情的认真。第一次的约会,不刻意的安排节目,两人随意的看了一部电影。 聊了好多。但还是要分手了。依依不舍的告别。 他们的恋情更进一步的发展。。第二次的约会是没有预约的, 他们两次的约会都留下好多美好的回忆。他们的幽默给对方留下甜蜜的回忆!

因为他们没有好多时间见面,他们的爱情就建立在沟通方面,他们对对方的思念,就是依靠每天收到的短讯和网上聊天。第三次的约会,他们到酒吧听歌,聊天。没想到,这次的约会竟是他们最后一次的约会。

所有的诺言,爱情的誓言,慢慢的已经不存在了,因为他们要分手了!就这样这份恋情到了终点。留下的只是一份伤透了心的回忆!

解脱

爱是不夜城 
回忆像星辰 
热泪越沸腾 
我越感觉有点冷 
变了心的人 
越想越伤人 
枯坐到清晨 
阳光替房间开了灯 
想 
若结局一样 
又何苦再想 
伤 
若让人成长 
我为什么怕分手的伤 
解脱是肯承认这是个错 
我不应该还不放手 
你有自由走我有自由好好过 
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后 
找个新方向往前走 
这世界辽阔 
我总会实现一个梦 
想 
像结局一样 
又何苦再想 
伤 
若让人成长 
我为什么怕分手的伤 
心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头 
不要爱我的人再担心我 
解脱是肯承认这是个错 
我不应该还不放手 
你有自由走我有自由好好过 
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后 
找个新方向往前走 
这世界辽阔 
我总会实现一个梦 

Friday, December 26, 2008

我的心情

当我下班后,我会在公寓里的周围运动,当然离不开我的Ipod, 一边漫步一边听歌。每当我听到我喜欢的歌,我会走得特别开心,今天也不例外,突然有灵感。这首歌的歌词正是我最近的心情。 我的心情遭透了。为了一些感情不愉快,把自己的情绪搞乱了。 有时候我很佩服填词的人才,怎么能够写得这么好~所谓的人才!希望你们喜欢!

星语心愿


我要控制我自己
不会让谁看见我哭泣
装作漠不关心你
不愿想不起你
怪自己没有勇气
心痛得无法呼吸
找不到你留下的痕迹
眼睁睁的看着你
却无能为力
任你消失在世界的尽头
找不到坚强的理由
再也感觉不到你的温柔
告诉我星空在那头
那里是否有尽头
心痛得无法呼吸
找不到昨天留下的痕迹
眼睁睁的看见你
却无能为力
任你消失在世界的尽头
找不到坚强的理由
再也感觉不到你的温柔
告诉我星空在那头
那里是否有尽头
就向流星许个心愿
让你知道我爱你


那这首呢?和我上面写的心情有关系吗?当然啦,这首是我想要做到的!这样子的心情不好受,我想把生活添加些活力和激励!加油!

隐形的翅膀


每一次 都在徘徊孤单中坚强 
每一次 就算很受伤 
也不闪泪光 
我知道 我一直有双隐形的翅膀 
带我飞 飞过绝望 
不去想 他们拥有美丽的太阳 
我看见 每天的夕阳 
也会有变化 
我知道 我一直有双隐形的翅膀 
带我飞 给我希望 
我终于 看到 
所有梦想都开花 
追逐的年轻 歌声多嘹亮 
我终于 翱翔 
用心凝望不害怕 
哪里会有风 就飞多远吧 
隐形的翅膀 
让梦恒久比天长 
留一个 愿望 
让自己想象


你们喜欢我的挑选吗?Dear my english readers, if you don't understand what I have posted here..it doesn't really matter, it is just my expression of thoughts, just click the PLAY button and enjoy the song. Thanks for visiting.

Take a look back at Zero Eight


Ever wonder if our mind works like our pc "Alt - Ctrl - Delete " and we can restart just like that ??

Hehe...sound not possible right, it is just a restart and the memory on the hard disk is still restored. So the data is the same.   Sometimes I wonder if I can do this function on me, so that I can just push a button then many things will change and some unwanted memories will be deleted.  Probably I have to consider "clean disk" function.  Then I can choose what data to delete!!   Hey, I like the way I think today !  Am I a pc??..  No, no I am a human with feeling, emotions and warm touches if you are next to me.

The last day of 2007 has been a very sad day for me and it was totally distraught for me to start my 2008.  And the days gone by and I picked myself up and lead my life.  First quarter of the year, I started to widen my circle of friends through net, honestly I find it so hard to find real friendship online.  Of course I also met a few whom I am still keeping in touch till now.   On relationship, I didn't take any serious decision as I wasn't sure of what lies ahead of me, taking the look and see sort of attitude.   Over the months, some important dates in my calendar reminded me of the past and brought back some memories due to the change in my life.

Since this is a different year for me and the family, a lot of changes took place in our family, and even the way we celebrate the CNY was different.  And I beginning to be more opened up with situation and friends came to know and that is when I felt certain comfort having best friends around me when I needed them most.   I know at the back of their mind..they really want to see the missing happiness on my face and cheerful ME again.

On work wise, I got myself really busy and that was really good to keep me going, traveled a lot but not being paid very well...sigh.  I traveled to many places including North India which was truly an eye opener for me.  The exotic, rugged and unpolished scenery is so pure in many ways...including the river that are not polluted  and the clear blue skies, and I mean REAL clear blue.  This is by far my best visited place.  The next best traveling I had was a revisit to San Francisco after 10 years.  And if only I knew I have a classmate who resides in SFO, I would have called on him.  

During my working trips, seen new places and met new peoples and this time around, I see things with a different view, probably it has something to do with my personal experience. I was just sharing with my colleague my "experience" when I went to the club alone...just to check out and ok..met someone to chat.  These are little pieces of memories that I have gone through, something that I have been there, done that sort of experience ! 

Awesome songs on the radio

Gosh...the radio station knows what to play at the right time..

It has been quiet in town....so is the mood and adding on with my sickness lately, these songs really made me feel ups and downs haha..blame the radio station !!

Below are 4 songs that I have listened to and 2 of which are really something I enjoyed.  One of the song is "Better In Time" which I have already posted in my blog.  Why are the songs played related to relationship, breakup, heartache, love is great...is there other songs that the DJ would select that is not so touched.

Anyway, I can't be compiling the songs here for the entire day..hope you enjoy them if you miss them on the radio earlier...hehe !

Hard to Say I M Sorry


Careless Whisper


Take A Bow


The Time of My Life

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Starting a new relationship vs fear of past love

Have you ever loved someone so much but somehow the ending is a break up ? Even in marriage you have loved this person your entire life, committed the whole life but it is still a painful separation.

I am sure all of us have been through this process which can be painful for both. Perhaps one can take it easy and move on with life better, but the other one might take it very hard. Also there are situation whereby they felt so hurt of what they been through and left them with bad memories even taking pain to start another relationship.  

Learning to move forward especially emotional pain is not easy because we have spent many years trying to protect ourselves from our own pain. We can make this easier by recognizing that if we are disturbed by somebody’s behaviour, this must be because we have our own negative self-beliefs in this area. We can therefore choose to work on these insecurities and heal the original heartbreaks and mistaken self-concepts that came out of them.  It takes practice, but if we can remain aware of what is happening within our relationships, we can soon begin to enjoy the opportunity for healing that they represent!  

Every couple will start of a relationship and go through different stages, love is an instinct, it flows in naturally, always sweet at the beginning, honey moon stage, then move on to a more committal stage when both are ready.  Undeniably some will not continue to commit as their fear or insecure feelings overtaken the true love infront of them. In fact, we tend to be too logical with what we think of our life, when the logical sense over powering what lies inside our heart that we truly want, we might miss some great moments and people that come pass us.   Many times, we tend to protect our self  from being hurt, rather live as single unwilling to confront the terrifying possibility of happiness..........

When the past love left us with unforgettable sad memories.  It is just natural for one to step back, withdraw and reconsider if this new love would have the same fate or perhaps greater love journey.  When the new love experience is so overwhelmed..just have the faith and believe that time has come for you to embrace the love to next level and be loved.  I feel to be in love and feel loved either way take great challenge and courage for both.  It is when "ONEness" is all about and ready to share good and bad of one another.

It is only possible when one is ready and this love relationship should be built on strong faith and willingness to take the lead to build a future together.

Let's keep this passion of love strong especially when both met their destiny as a soulmate !  

Below are few songs from Peter Cetera..his concert is in March and I really hope I can be there to watch him live....I hope you will enjoy these songs !

You are the inspirations


Do you love me that much


After All

Glory of Love


Next Time I Fall

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

It is time to let go



I have been thinking hard over what happened in life...thinking so hard and 
over thinking at times.  

And I realised it is time to let go and set myself free ! 
 
It has been too much pain, feeling of hurt, emotional stress and this is just what I can put down in words, but the actual pain is felt inside me, my body, my mind and my heart, no one could feel it except for my weak body and soul.

It has been kinda of "torturing" to be in this situation and I have enough and life has to go on.  I can't bear with this life anymore and I want a new life.  Taking a look at 08, how it started and it is coming to an end in 8 days, enough is enough.  There is no hatred and anger but only sad memories that traveled past me.  I will keep the passion for what and who I love next to me, only those sweet memories will always be with me.

I will keep what I treasure and nurture till it grows to full bloom.  My new life will start today and not 1st day of 09, it has to be a fresh new day and great opportunity awaits me with great big smile.   

Great positive thinking people, highly motivated life and far sight vision wave warmly at me..."My Dear, don't look back anymore !"

I wish to share my vision with all of you...have a great life !

Below is something I found on google..and hope you like it !

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
   it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
   it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
   but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
   the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, 
   it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
   but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
   but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
   but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
   but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
   it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
   but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
   but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
   but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
   but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
   but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
  The time to love is short

Monday, December 22, 2008

Better In Time

Sometimes in life, something has to happen and it is part and parcel of life and process especially relationship matter.

Yesterday, I received an unexpected call from someone I have much respect for but unfortunately things went wrong and the relationship turn bad.

We spoke all about how things are with me and how am I coping with life, and there is so much regret in the conversation. Well, the only thing I could say is there is nothing much I could do with the situation and life moves on and face the reality of life which can be cruel, hurtful and painful unfortunately.

What appears to be a consolation is that finally they realised I am the one they have most respect for all this while despite what happened so far !  I know who I am and how I dealt with the situation was never wrong.

Thanks for calling..a song to share with you "Better In Time".



It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to 
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it 
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything 
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to 
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me 
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to 
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go 
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be 
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do) 
It'll all get better in time

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Life Is Great & Dynamic

My last post sounded a little sad and very emotional right ? Sorry about it !

Actually I am not as bad as I have described la...it is just me whining a little and feeling really exhausted and stress from lack of sleep the night before..and nearly got my self into accident as I dozed off while driving and I feel terrible about this !

Yes I do feel lonely but it is just being emotional at times !  When I think of the kids, I wish I have not let them go away for such a long break, then I thought over it again, why I do change their lifestyle for me, I know how much my parents and the children look forward to this short stay.  It is me and I am responsible for what happened in my life ! So here I am getting upset with what happened and decision made about my life.  But I  shouldn't let this stay too long and it is making me rather negative and I really have to find myself and what I really want.  This is suffering that I have chosen and I have the right not to feel this way, right ?  I used to be a very happy person, what is really wrong with me ?  I find myself very emotional lately and why am I behaving like that ?  Gosh...I really need to break this !  I know I can do it and what lies ahead of me would be great and all the good days are coming back to me.  Life is Dynamic and Great ! Be Positive !

And I know these painful days are over soon..and I have confident things are going to fall in place, everything is going well too !  

I have just watched Mama Mia the movie la...it is so cool, romantic and touching and songs in the movie are so alive and reminds me of my experience in life also part of my growing up..I just love it and love the ending !  Of course, my favourite Pierre Brosnan is acting....hehe :-)  

Hope you like my selection of songs...

Mama Mia


Thank you for the music


Chiquitita


The Winner Takes It All


I Do I Do I Do I Do


When It Is All Said And Done


Take A Chance


I Have A Dream

Alone

Alone...very true I am all alone ! Haha...what is happening ???

Kids away and being alone for almost 3 weeks has not been easy for me.  It takes so much of test on me to deal with life.  It has never occur to me that I can't leave alone or maybe I have forgotten how to leave alone and enjoy the life being a single.  A friend told me when his wife is away, he declared independent and so happy being a single.  Maybe I am in a different position and being alone is not something I look forward to.

I have a good lunch today with my buddy who happened to find out about my situation...all she could say is I feel the stress that you are dealing with and I really don't know how you managed it and I really don't know how to help you.  And finally she said you are good at covering up...another hollywood award winner on the way !

Lately afterwork, I choose not to come home too early as I fear being all alone and feeling lonely. Sound terrible right..sigh ! What a life ???  But I strived and I managed though it has been awful and tonight I heard this song "Alone" and it brought back some memories and I would like to share with you !

Celion Dion - Alone


Another song that I enjoy listening to it...and though I am so tired after a long day, I just have 
to include this song...

Ray Conniff - She Believes In Me


Friday, December 19, 2008

Great days ahead of me !

Haven't been sleeping well lately......sigh !
Felt really tired but the mind just couldn't rest, there were so many things !

Thinking all kind of possibilities and impossbilities..work, life, family, and everything !
This is bad, and I dislike this sleepless thingy as it is such a suffering having to stay up staring at the darkness in the room, I refused to turn on my laptop as it will stimulate my brain, so I forced myself to sleep, close my eyes as they are really tired but the mind is not corporating !

A friend said I am breathing hard....what is wrong with me !? I don't think so there is anything to worry, just have to relax and try to balance myself, probably is just the stress. 

Hope everything will be ok sooner....relax, stay calm !
Have a good day ! 

This is another old song...Waiting for the star to fall, enjoy the song !



Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Elvis Presley

These few days seems to be old friends catch-up day...haha !  Yesterday, met up with school mate that we have known for 24 years, thanks to facebook, we got reconnected.   It was a good catch-up really...but we are too old now to remember what happened during our childhood days!

This evening, a good friend invited me and another home town friend for dinner in his house, and seeing his 2 princesses at home, I really missed my 2 princesses who are away from me.  

While driving home, it must be nostalgic effect, I was listening to Elvis's song and this old tune "And I love you so" captured me and I just want to share with you !  He has the voice for any kind of songs...I have chosen a few below and since Christmas is around the corner..let's listen and be happy !  Hope these few selections will bring much delights to your life !

And I Love You So

Anyone (Could Fall In Love With You)


Thinking of You

Walking in Winter Wonderland

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Miss You

My life has been lonely for the past 2 weeks especially when they are away from me...thankfully for my buddies who have spent a few evenings, at least to keep my stomach company for better appetite  ! 

I have never felt so lonely and probably is the bad timing too, and I almost can't bear the thoughts that I am all alone and the house is in total silence.  No noise from the TV, lights are off as I entered the house, kids are not there to greet me and no one to jump on me to start my day.

And I realised how important they are to me and they are the best for me and they are the one who will love me forever.  

A moment ago, I spoke to them and my daugther almost made me cry, she said "Mom, I only want you and I miss you !", and I replied "Mom misses you too" ! And she went on asking me "Mom, did you find any friend to stay with you ?" and "What did you eat for dinner?" she went on "So, what do you do at home, you are so bored?" OMG, this little girl is really my darling, the way she cares for me touched my heart.  I am blessed to have such a lovely daughter who is able to warm my heart..of course, my son is equally loving except that being a boy, he is less expressive than the sister.  But he has his share on how he cares for me, on the first day after they left, he asked me "Mom, do you know how to fry an egg? do you know how to use the blender to make your juice ?"  He gave me a good laugh..and he will say "I love you Mom" to end the conversation !

At times like this, I would use all means like 3G video call, Skype and whatever ways to reach them and to see and feel their presence in my life.  I remembered last year I was away during my birthday, and god knows, last year has been the most awful year for me and I felt terribly emotional during the trip to NZ and despite knowing the phone bill is costly, I couldn't care anymore and I had a video call with them...and that really helped to ease my emotional pain.  And this year, though I was hopeful for a better life, at least it is not as bad as compared to last year, I have received many sms and phone wishes and took a day off from work to celebrate my birthday with 3 darlings and my sis, and a few buddies that put up a small party that made my day !

I am counting the days for their return...this life is driving me crazy !  I picked up this song while I was keeping myself busy this evening.. hope you like it !



Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Clubbing

Do I really enjoy clubbing !? Yes and no..

Somehow I couldn't find the thrill and excitement and in fact I find it rather sickening.  Having said this doesn't mean I am not sociable type la.  I shared with my girl friends that when one feels down, some friends suggested that I should find some friends and enjoy myself at the club.  Good idea, but when you are emotionally down and frustrated, the intake of alcohol maybe a little more than usual, and what happens next, I still need to drive myself home, and what if I get myself into any mishap or accident, worst still if it is life threatening, who would feel pity for me, does anyone know the reason why I drank so much ??  Instead, I will be so regretful and pityful for my 3 children and people who loves me.  Ok, this is more of my safety conscience when I think of drunk driving !

And the sickening part is when everyone has such a real good time with limitless intake of alcohol, everyone  feels so high and there goes males are taking advantage of the female and vice versa.  I have seen some aged ladies, fat but willingly showing off their assets, I think they are definitely over their limits...it is obscene and unpleasant to me as a lady....

I sounded like I am so "old fashion" but no la..I am not !  I do go clubbing once in awhile, and what is the thrill to me, see who is who and what do they do...and make some comments, lastly maybe get pick up but not happening.

So, I prefer a nice place where it is not too noisy, have the right company, who cares less about who is who then, as we can have good chat and laugh where you don't have to raise your voice, really focus on conversation and enjoy the music.

Agree ?

Another favourite song...

As I was browsing through you tube, I found this Vietnamese are good, they actually create their own version of some classic Love Songs that were so popular in the 80's.
This is my favourite and the best favourite of my karaoke songs. There is a reason for that...when karaoke just started in the 80's, during one of the karaoke gathering and I chose this song, 
and a friend of mine suggested that he can promote me to be an artiste...hahahaha. Since then this song has been my favourite and I still have it
on my Ipod, and never tired of singing this over and over again. Of course, the lyrics is also well written and meaningful !

Joelle is also learning to sing this song and once I was sing in the room, and Joelle walked in and said 'Mom, I thought you were playing your Ipod". And in the morning when I
drive her to school, she would request for me to play this song !

梦醒时分


Fall in Love (Vietnamese Version)


Rock Version

Faye Wong 容易受伤的女人

Faye Wong is one of my favourite artists...and maybe I share the same name as her, and thus I have quite a good voice..ehhemm !

This song hit the popular chart at least 16 years ago and even now I listen to it over and over again, it is still so soothing ! I have posted a few versions of this beautiful love song to share with you.

Hope you like it too !






Friday, December 12, 2008

我好闷!

我一直想写一篇中文的!总是觉得很难开始!

今晚突然有一点灵感,就写一小段就好了!

那要写些什么呢? 写我有多闷吧!每年的学校假期,孩子们都会回老家陪陪公公婆婆,今年我有工作,所以不能够回家,加上心情不是很好,所以这个假期实在难过!恨不得明天孩子们就回来了。朋友们说好羡慕我有很多自己的空间,可以过单身人的生活,其实我认为,我已经习惯了生活里不能够没有孩子,虽然有时候每个星期都在重复同样的生活规例和节目,有时候我还觉得很累,但是没有他们,我难过死了,想到回家对着四面墙,冷清清了,实在不好受!

这个时候正是我思念他们的时候。。。他们应该都在梦乡里!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My All



I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If its wrong to love you
Then my heart just wont let me be right
cause Ive drowned in you
And I wont pull through
Without you by my side

Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
cause I cant let go on
Living in the memory of your song
Id give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining Im looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet youre so far
Like a distant star
Im wishing on tonight

Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
cause I cant let go on
Living in the memory of your song
Id give my all for your love tonight

Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
cause I cant let go on
Living in the memory of your song
Id give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight


Monday, December 8, 2008

The True Meaning of Love

This is a good month for wedding and on the road, there were so many bridal parades and there goes my heart thinking about marriage.

A few of us discussed about marriage and most of us agreed that marriage certificate is just a piece of paper and there is no guarantee to last a life time. And to certain extent, this paper can be a nuisance when the marriage doesn't work out.  Of course on a positive note,  not all marriages would have a divorce to end.  There are certainly ups and downs in every relationship, but once clarity, trust and communication is strengthen, things would work out some how and everything will fall in place.

So our conclusion is till the last breath, if he / she is still next to us, then we can say he/she is my husband or wife.  Well, what happened along the way, we don't want to know la..In my opinion, when a couple cares for each other, whether there is the "paper"or not is not so important after all.  More important is to know that he will be there for you when you needed him and the foundation of this love is strong.  Love  has so many faces, unconditional, pure and infinite.  I find love is an instinct, it gives us hope and strength in our daily life. When you feel the instinct is right, you will know it.

Personal experience tells me when there is love, everything seem possible.  We need love and it can be any kind of love, husband and wife, siblings love, friends, parents and children's love. Love takes a lot sacrifices and it is not a one way street, especially true love. When you show true love to someone, it is about being with him and allow him to accomplish everything in life.   Thus, true compassionate and kindness come along with this true love.   Once the condition is right, it will only lead to a long lasting relationship.

True love lies inside you finally...

Subscribe Now :

Followers

My passion..my job and places I have been !

Interests

  • Ripple cards
  • Beauty Tips, Hair, Travel ideas, Healthy Food, Massage, Spa