I Miss You

My life has been lonely for the past 2 weeks especially when they are away from me...thankfully for my buddies who have spent a few evenings, at least to keep my stomach company for better appetite  ! 

I have never felt so lonely and probably is the bad timing too, and I almost can't bear the thoughts that I am all alone and the house is in total silence.  No noise from the TV, lights are off as I entered the house, kids are not there to greet me and no one to jump on me to start my day.

And I realised how important they are to me and they are the best for me and they are the one who will love me forever.  

A moment ago, I spoke to them and my daugther almost made me cry, she said "Mom, I only want you and I miss you !", and I replied "Mom misses you too" ! And she went on asking me "Mom, did you find any friend to stay with you ?" and "What did you eat for dinner?" she went on "So, what do you do at home, you are so bored?" OMG, this little girl is really my darling, the way she cares for me touched my heart.  I am blessed to have such a lovely daughter who is able to warm my heart..of course, my son is equally loving except that being a boy, he is less expressive than the sister.  But he has his share on how he cares for me, on the first day after they left, he asked me "Mom, do you know how to fry an egg? do you know how to use the blender to make your juice ?"  He gave me a good laugh..and he will say "I love you Mom" to end the conversation !

At times like this, I would use all means like 3G video call, Skype and whatever ways to reach them and to see and feel their presence in my life.  I remembered last year I was away during my birthday, and god knows, last year has been the most awful year for me and I felt terribly emotional during the trip to NZ and despite knowing the phone bill is costly, I couldn't care anymore and I had a video call with them...and that really helped to ease my emotional pain.  And this year, though I was hopeful for a better life, at least it is not as bad as compared to last year, I have received many sms and phone wishes and took a day off from work to celebrate my birthday with 3 darlings and my sis, and a few buddies that put up a small party that made my day !

I am counting the days for their return...this life is driving me crazy !  I picked up this song while I was keeping myself busy this evening.. hope you like it !

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer