What do you think of single women ? I have many friends who are single not married, still looking for Mr. Right, and some single mothers and widow. Here I am posting the question of what men think about single women of this profile :
- Divorced
- Attractive looking
- Early 40s
- Have children
- Sensible and loving personality
- Working
- Capable and independent
What do you think are the possible responses of men in these categories when they meet such a lady :
- Single below 40s
- Single in their 40s
- Single above 50s
- Divorced
- Married in their 40s
- Widower with kids
What I like to know is the first impression and what would be the first approach ? Whether there will be any development into relationship will depend on who the man is I supposed ? Some of my male friends say guys do take advantage of women in this category ? How about sympathy ? Could it be nothing serious but seeking companion or just flirting around ? Is this possible ?
Does it make sense ??
Hope to have your comments ! Thanks :-)
2 comments:
I guess this should be directed at men of similar age ranges?
I'm 31, male, have had about 4 relationships (1 with a very attractive lady, 1 with an amazingly smart woman) and is single now. I've been told there are a lot of single women out there here in Klang Valley - but I've yet to meet that many of them...
DIVORCED
I haven't been married, so to me someone who already have kids is somewhat off limits to me. I want to go through the experience of starting a family with someone who is equally fresh at it, so that the experience will be new and precious. Otherwise it's like watching a movie with someone who has already watched the movie.
Perhaps if I was 40+ and also have kids, I would be open to it. But, I hope not. When I make a commitment I want to put effort into making it a one in a lifetime commitment.
It's also a big adjustment to be a step-dad.
SINGLE BELOW 40s
Since I'm 31 and male, I would be looking at someone below 31 up to 27 or so. Any younger - there might be a clash of values and goals.
I wouldn't be looking at someone above 31.
TAKING ADVANTAGE
Do you mean that older women who are divorced and so are easier for men to make use of?
Haha, I don't agree: I think unprincipled men make use of ALL women - young or old, not-so-pretty or pretty-but-insecure, divorced or single - especially those are too needy or too desperate. It's mainly for sex, or the ego-boost of 1 or more females wanting you.
Women are also quite unprincipled in the sense that they use sex to tie a guy down. That is, bribing the guy to stay by offering sex. I have no issues with women having sex because they enjoy it - but really, it's like giving a present: once you give it, don't expect anything back. Love and sex is separate for men. If you want a lasting relationship, you have to have a deeper connection and shared values rather than sex. I want a woman who has the same values as I do and we can tease each other, have fun, do things (besides sex) together. Mindblowing sex is great, but without the other things then she is just someone I had sex with, not anything more.
Women also are very naive that when guys can say "I love you" to them, that they mean it. For eg, "He said he loved me. Then how can he do this to me?" - totally illogical from a male perspective.
DESPERATION
Women who are too eagerly seeking a man tends to turn off men. I would say, go slow and don't be desperate. Always have a large circle of friends, and find out more about the guy.
Some desperate women turn off guys because it seems like it all about how they can tie down a guy to care for them, to feed them, to do things for them.
We want someone we respect, that we can proudly show off on our arm.
At the same time, overly-proud women also turn off guys.
CULTURE
It's quite sad that as a Chinese male I do accept that some Chinese males are pathetic when it comes to giving what women want. They are very chauvinistic, or don't know how to talk to women.
Unfortunately, Western males are better at this - just because as a culture they are more extroverted and aggressive. But, some of them will still make use of women - all unprincipled men do it.
More and more Chinese males are getting much better nowadays, through the help of books, TV and magazines. We can flirt with women, be romantic, yet still are filial and more attuned to Eastern culture.
I used to feel bad about gwailo's going out with Chinese girls, thinking that surely these gwailo's are making use of these girls - surely fucking them and then leaving the country. And then that some girls are just fucking the gwailo's for a chance at more money. But now, I see that some gwailo's are truly making them happy and treat them with utmost respect, so I'm happy for everyone. I saw an old gwailo and his Chinese wife the other day at IKEA and they seem happy. Better that, than the wife with some grumpy Chinese man who bosses her around. But as mentioned, a lot of Chinese men have also picked up the pace and are more than worthy to be companions for Chinese women. Some more we are less hairy, smell less of stinky cheese, smoother skin, know how to treat your parents, tell jokes in Chinese, can eat durian, and yet know about Western zeitgeist.
MY WOMAN
If some of your friends are 28-30, takes good care of themselves, confident, is well-adjusted, kind to others, speaks good English, likes books, movies, sports, knows how to boost my ego (haha, men are easy like that), doesn't mind spending time at home sometimes instead of clubbing, not a spendthrift after the latest designer bags to show off to their friends - let me know! :)
Dan - thanks for your generous comments....a very long one ! Why did I put up single men below 40s, they are in fact guys under 40s that might be interest in older women too ! Will keep you in view for some younger girls of your preference...but you gotta let me know how to reach you ! Just kidding la...You really have your views of the woman you like, that is great...good luck in your search ! :-)
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